Your lips are firm
yet supple to the touch,
the electricity that pulses
it just feels like so much

So much feeling in a single touch
and I sigh and clutch
my racing heart
as it beats and beats
and beats apart
from the rhythm of life,
as my soul imparts

The wisdom to me
that I already had
I wrote it down
on my little scratch pad:

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return"

My heart soars
Through open doors
As it climbs
into yours

My soul glowing
radiantly
the brightness showing
and I see

I relish it in it
and it makes me whole.

How is it
that whenever I'm sure that you're the one
that you run in the opposite direction

How is it
that you always seem apologetic,
and I believe you,
but the actions never support the claim

How is it
that when I call on you to talk to me
for five minutes
you can't find the time

And yet you say you love me.

How is it
that I pour my heart and soul out
for you, and you understand me
but you break me afterwards

How is it
that I am so happy
when I am with you
and never want to leave
but the moment I go
reality comes crashing in
How is it
that every time I try to trust you
my face is the one
that ends up stained with tears

And yet I still love you.

How is it
that we keep coming 'round
to this same ****** circle
and don't get anywhere faster

How is it
that my heart beats only for you
and yet I feel
like I have been thrown
naked onto the street

And yet you say you love me

How is it
I can feel it in my very core
that what you say is true
and yet your actions
make it not so

How is it
that I progress and mature
and you have done nothing
but back peddle
in my absence

How is it
that I can take this
and still love you
more than my heart can bear

How is it
that I dote so heavily on you
and would end my life
to save yours
and still feel
the cold burn of inconsistency

I just want to hold your hand
and walk among the tall grasses and weeds
to that place that you took me before
while the wind blows up against our bodies
and we breathe and step forward in unison

The tall grasses swishing, brushing against our legs
activity of those around us humming in the background
children laughing in the pool,
birds calling to each other in the air,
the sloshing of the water against the embankment

And I look to you and all I see are those sea green eyes
Crystal blue on some days, mossy green the next
And I lose myself,
melting in those dazzling pearls of intimacy
When you look at me with them,
it feels like you see into my soul
knowing every part of me all at once

Then I look away, blushing
because your gaze is so penetrating
that I have no way to respond
without seeming foolish
because you have struck me speechless

All my feelings for you reflected
in the red glow of my cheeks,
I cannot hide from your gaze.
No. Not from you.

As you pull me on, hand in tow,
I feel like I could float like this forever
suspended in time and space,
the world outside melting away
as we dance without music

Your smile embedding itself onto my face
cozying up for a long stay,
my face starts to ache from the muscles of my mouth
not being able to relax,
but I cannot stop smiling

As you clear the ground
I watch you carefully brush away
possible bumps and uncomfortable seats
and motion for me to sit next to you
on the spot of ground you have cleared for me

I plop myself down serenely
My body folding into yours,
your arm wrapped around my shoulder
My head resting on your chest

Peaceful dreams come over me
and as we harmonize
the water becomes a bay
and the spot we have taken up becomes the dock
and as we sit upon the dock of the bay,
we watch the small ripples,
assuming they have a tide,
roll away into one another.

We sit on the dock of the bay
and waste time

The drawn anticipation
tip-toeing on the tip of my tongue
I can taste scintillating titillation
of action
of resolve

Slipping slowly into this
vastly unorganized state
of solace and  servitude

Bound by the beautifully ironic
Brush of fate that has brought me
to you

The luscious laments you utter
so lovingly
lap at my conscience
like a lap dog in the life of luxury
oblivious to anyone else's needs
but its own
as I languish the morsels lain on the
cold, wet floor

Freezing as my heart flutters
feverishly to fight the frivolous
attempts to win back the love
that frightens me now

Never doubting,
Nor noticing the imperfections
that nag at the niceties performed
eloquently in your presence

Putting my progress
on hold, while I become
less and less patient
still trying to understand
why you're still with her...

and I'm still here.
Loving you.

I've long since forgotten
the way you held me
The way you touched me

Spellbound by your caresses
My breath suspended
when you look at me
with those mossy green eyes,
that smile that melts any sadness,
any care or worry,
your soft hands,
the calluses on the tips of your fingers,
the way you smell like puppies
is even the most endearing thing about you.

The way your voice reaches my ears
and my body forgets
that there is a world outside us
The sound of your guitar
as you pick and strum away
and I refrain
from placing my quivering lips
onto yours
because I know it would be
the end of a friendship.

My feelings behind an arcane barrier

I am dearly afraid to trust you
and more so afraid
that you will abandon me
at the first sight of intimacy

I grow wary of your questions
guarding my answers,
and you catch it.
You of all people
can see past my wall.

That is really the most frustrating
thing about you:
is that you see.
You see my vulnerability,
the moment I am upset,
you ask what the matter is.

You can see it plainer on my face
than I can perceive it in my heart,
and you understand me  so well,
too well to keep this charade afloat.

So, at some point,
I assume I will have to address it,
my love for you that has no end.

Until that day though,
I will remain quiet,
cherishing the growing friendship
we have achieved once more.

This thought that refuses to leave
an unwanted raging lunatic
tearing at my soul

You are a bug
eating at my flesh
and you refuse to die
I squash you
I burn you
I spray you
and yet
I cannot sleep

Because  I know somehow
somewhere,
you will find your way back to me
and ruin my life all over again.