At your will
a bend to your word
twisting and turning
all the while unheard

Silent and mindful
Slipping so sure
to fall and fall over
the timing absurd

Rendered a puppet
whose movements secure
grotesquely twist
and move all the more

Tangled and Twisted
Arms all bound up
Hands tied and jilted
Time to back up

Moving my legs
but they do not move
the control you have
is not willing to soothe

The heady headway you
seem to have had
Haven't I given enough
that I have?

Tug me this way
Sway me that
Pull me up
Push me down

This motion I can't control
I watch as you drown me
Outside of my body
as you **** me slowly

Watching as I softly fade
Cheeks flush
Tick
Tick...

Sitting in solemn silence
all around me the deafening roar
of thoughts flooding through
my mind

Heads bent over their work
as they contemplate the
significance that this will even have
ten, twenty, thirty years from now

Looking around and seeing
stress on people's faces
as they sit and wittle away
the fifty minutes of
fluid time

Twiddling their thumbs
the equivalent of me
here
writing this poem

Bland revising conversation
with an overtone of educational
******* wrapped in a blanket
of disconcerting melodrama

Whispers of unfocused chatter
and my mind wanders lazily
from one thought to the next

Conflicted as I should be writing for
another purpose
to complete an assignment
that I couldn't possibly
care less about

Oh the joys of institutionalized
education
and yet
the irony:

I want to become
a part of it
in order to remedy
its imperfections
from the inside out

Recklessly abandoned in your gaze
as you turn it back to me
As I am wrapped up in
a woven dream of intimacy

The cloth smoothing over my skin
like the scented oils that
bathe me in an intoxicating smell
of deep golden ecstacy

Moving close
so close
to the cliff of temptation
So hopelessly drawn to
the edge

I know once I step closer
I'm sure to fall in

Abating my senses
Tantalizing my mind

Teetering on the edge
Rocking on my heels
on the precipice
in my mind

Biting my lip as
I close my eyes
and Jump

Distracted

by the flying thoughts
within my mind
as I think fleetingly
from one thought to
the next...

Not really stopping
to analyze or put to the test
What did I have for lunch today?
Is he worth it?
What's due in class tomorrow?
When am I going to do it?
I have to work...
I miss my mom
I love hanging out with my friends
that light is really bright
I think it's giving me a headache
Christ, I'm tired
No, I don't want to listen to that song
This one's better
Why is it so cold in here?
Why is this comforter so hot?
I really should go to bed
My mind is reeling
I wonder if he likes me
I think I might like him
But it's complicated
Math is complicated
I'm taking a math class next semester
I hope it's easy
I'm hungry
I think I ate all of those chocolate things that he gave me...
Yeah. Yup. Sure did.
My mouth is dry, and my head itches.
Now my back itches because I thought of my head itching.
I wonder if it'll even work
Worth a shot I guess
But what about...
no.
That won't work.
That was made clear.
Oh well. A loss isn't the end of the world.
I wonder if the end of the world really is 2012.
If it is, I want to conquer my fear of heights before then.
I should have a better goal than that before the end of the world...
I'll have paid for a **** load of schooling for no reason...
sigh
yawn
I should listen to music
It calms my mind
writing helps dump my thoughts onto paper
Welcome to the random discertation that is my mind
Once upon a story and
THE END.

Pan left and zoom in

on the corner of my mind
Disentangle the heartache
and Reassemble the pieces
of time

Pan right and zoom out
to grasp the bigger picture
a muted pink surface reflecting
a distant past
Swept away

Never had I imagined
the burn
that resides in
the pit of my stomach

You cause me heartburn,
But there's no stopping it

That burn, that need, that desire
Is what keeps me from
falling apart

I don't want to get burned
but when playing with fire
there's no way to stop

The flames keep on rising
and I'm burning to the core
just keep getting closer
There's something
I want to explore

Relatively senile
the memories in my mind
fade as new ones replace
the broken past

Watching the lovers
as they stroll along
the rainswept streets
of connected
bliss and dischord

Looking around
at the silence
tasting the futile attempts
like ashes on a cold day

Feeling
the chill down my spine,
my quickened pulse
as you enter the room

Eyes brighten
as they think of you
Ever so noticably
Slipping into a drugged
state in which coming back
isn't a desirable option

Poetry laced with
an intoxicating poison
slowly saturating my senses
blinding faults, impurities

Grasping at clarity
and finding none
only your arms
folding around me
pulling me deeper into
the abyss

Tipping on the scale
of an emotional torrent
Sipping from the cup of
an evocative song

Doing what you do to me
is a wave of frustration
pounding in my unbroken heart

Feigning, Waiting, Testing, Saying
How do I begin to tell you
that you make me melt?
That I look for you around corners
anticipating your face, your breath,
your smile

Zipping up my pocket
of emotional recall
Closing off the opening
sewing up the hole

Hoping that you don't see
don't hear, don't notice
that I can't let you in

I stumble then I fall
into your arms again
Trying to stay away but I can't
seem to resist the attention

That you give to me
Your eyes are so deep you see
that I drown in your gaze

Slipping into an emotional tyrade,
Trying to keep my head
from going under
Trying not to drown to resist temptation,
But failing so miserably bad

I can't stay away for a moment
without hearing your voice in my mind
Tossing and turning and turning away
I Turn right back
To the very first page

The one I can't bear to look at
Yet look anyway