Am I just salt for you to rub into your wounds?
You flake me off like dandruff bits on your blazer collar,
Sadism is an art when you use me for it
We are whips, ripping into each others flesh
Taking bites and swallowing
Blood down cheeks
Vampire treats
We are invincible to all but each other
I want you to run your fingernails down my back, swirly skin under nails, red like fine felt-tip streaks
Paint me like one of your damaged girls
This is revolting, but this is home
Bruises are kisses as far as we're concerned
Lovebites
Love bites
Obsession is a small word for the hurt we do to each other
I love you
slap
I love you
Smack
I love you
Crunch
Bones on bones at the bottom of the stairs
We finished each other
We're done

I fall in love with people who have your name.

There is poison running through my veins
hereditary
passed on from both sets of grandparents. my parents never had a chance
neither do I
There is a silence between our conversations
unspoken words drawing us away from each other
Our kindness to each other is generosity
The days are spent waking from nightmares I’d rather be living in to grunts of good mornings
Waving goodbyes at school
Grunts of greeting at the car and afternoons spent in dreams once again
Till I finally wake up, late evening, switch on my online world and speak to the family I wish I lived with
There is sadness running down these walls
Emptiness between occasional hugs
Hatred slowly growing in hearts
We will probably never speak again once I move out
This normal for me, for the many millions living the way I do
Why
I want to love them the way normal people do
My family are strangers under the same roof
I don't even know what they dream about

How could anything so pure feel so bad?
When did we decide that loving each other was a risk, and evil, something we had to hide deep inside ourselves, not even telling each other
True love is supposed to be a once in a lifetime chance and I'm terrified that we’re letting this go because we’re too afraid
Soul mates are supposed to be rare, and we’re letting ourselves become extinct
Why does this feel *****?
I have dreams about you where we sit in public and talk and clasp hands on top of the table
No shame, no blushed-downwards gazes
I like you so much
Looking at your face makes me shy
It’s like a rainbow, seeing it too often makes you unappreciative so I try to avoid temptation
I wish I could die
I would rather die than be told that this is evil
That when my heart grows bigger and I feel like I've swallowed jumping beans when I see you, it’s a bad thing
Wrong wrong wrong rong rog rig righ right
Right
No
Stop
I love you
Enough
**** them
Come here
Listen
Please be with me
No shame
No hurt
Safe
Sweet
Good
Right

A shell in a thunderstorm covers me
And I am warm
Protected
Listening to raindrops shatter roof tiles
Like the tapping feet of a chimney sweep
In the past
Unfurnished, bare
These cavernous rooms echo with memory
I think about the children who've grown up here and left
The hands touching these walls before mine were fully formed
My brother lies on the carpet and I see this moment as a memory in the future
Looking at his small form coloring a book that will be thrown away
I think about the future
About the children who will inherit this house and touch the walls I've touched
Smile in the rooms I've smiled in
Cry on the floors I've dropped tears on
All sensation is already memory
I'm afraid of forgetting

I have been told for millenia that i need to stop being so sensitive
feel less
care less
but don't be careless
school doesn't matter but get good marks
contradictions lying in the recesses of my brain
what my mother doesn't seem to understand
is that i am forged from fire
i am not a water baby whose occasional destruction can be understood
i am not calm
i was not made to be bathed in
i am a fire you see
i burn and destroy
my giving light is a coincidence
my giving warmth is a bonus
i set the world up in flames and people covet me
i was meant for heat and light and to tarnish the gold of the oppressors
do not limit me mother
i am not the fruit of your *****
i have sprung ready made from the branches of a higher purpose
do not diminish me
i can't be made small
let me be or i will **** you
slowly
and burn your flesh with my tongue

My state of mind is abysmal
A void in my skull
Throbbing and robbing,gravity *******, people *******
A blackness darker than pitch, you stupid ***** get out of my head, scorpions crawling along my cranium, **** them with radium, poison the skeletons tapping on skin.
Hit me with hammers, don't sit there and stammer, get me out of this hole
Help me feel whole
Help me save my soul
Tablets and pills don't stop the ****, slicing and dicing, man-made gills
Cover my eyes, I am so shy,
Just lay me to sleep, don't weep
don't weep