Never again will i feel this way
This time ill leave before i get left

the sadness is overwhelming
The tears rush down your face
You feel your body shaking
And you hate feeling this way
But you realize your nothing without it
So you start to adjust to the pain
When you least expect it
You are called an addict
Of your own pain

out of all the drugs ive done
You are still my favorite one to do

i'm like a flower in the night sky
i am wide awake
when i shouldn't be
i feel dim
when i should sing
but i am beautiful
i am a flower in the night sky
but i live for myself
not for anyone else
therefore i am beautiful
when im all to myself
so its hard to believe
when someone else sees me
as a flower in the night sky

Touch me
feel me
in the most innocent way
use your fingers correctly
on my skin
on my heart
make me feel like a light
the brightest one you've seen
and if you cant remember
just think of LSD
make me feel like love
direct me to my dreams
guide me to my misfortune
and make me love every second of it
make me an addict
of your touch
make me go to a different place
when you look at me
like an electric feel
like a wave
of love

this is the end
but only the beginning
of newly expressed feelings
if it's not in my brain it's in my head
it never seems to stop
i can't make it stop
time doesn't help
i can't seem to forget
the reflection of the light
shining on your face
that october night
it wasn't very cold
only my hands on your face
and my heart in your hands
i will never understand
what's there to expect
i just met your needs
And you then left so quick
december came
everything fell
fall was already over
i cant seem to forget
the moonlight
shining on your face
i wondered where we stood
if we even had a place
but the only place you'd like to see me
Was not only in your bed
But under you as well
Oh it's been too long
I cant seem to feel
and i can't seem to forget
The exact way that i felt
Or the smell of leather red seats
Where my heart skipped three beats
Maybe the back of your car
Just wasn't good for me

I saw you again
Through the blindness of my eyes
You used me again
And i let you like i said
You made it seem so real
But you keep leaving me
Breathless and cold
Crying and alone
I swear
Your driving me insane

Our lips were never not touching
Our bodies were never apart
I could feel your cold hands all over my body
Your eyes focused on my chest
Those hands with no good intentions
Were all over my face
I made a promise to myself
To give you what youve been missing
And **** right i did
Even you whispered
And admited
I was in fact the best youve ever had
I couldve said the same
But you came late to the game
The drugs had already taken over my head
The only thing I remember you said clearly
Was that you felt so guilty
Because i was 15 and you was 19.

So this is how it continues
You want more of me
You finally decided
To continue this excitement
Hmm too bad i was over you
But this time ill meet you
And ill give you what youve been missing
But this time ill leave you
and it will be my story
All over again
But you will be the one living it

It is true what they say
Time does heal the pain
But every once in a while
Youll feel it again
The shocks remaining
Of the earthquake
That once wasnt so dangerous
Because it was a rainbow

If forgetting someone was easy as peeling off a bandaid
But dont forget everything scabs
If forgetting someone was easy
I would still be around
And sober
If forgetting someone was easy
I would take 2 pills instead of the whole thing
I still have you on my skin
And i cant take you off
Ive tried so hard but **** it hurts so much

I believe ill see you one day
Since the last time we met
In the back seat of your car
You will try to reach me so we can do it all over again
And i want you,but you're no good for me
So this will be hard to decide
If im going to be strong
Or if im going to give in

So yes we met again
I was so angry and confused
But i gave in
Once again
You where so different
You didnt even look at me
I was gonna leave you
But i wanted to see you
One last time
But this time in your apartment
But it never happened
I got fed up and im more than this ****

i have the choice to end it all
I have th choice to sleep
I cant do nither of them
Because ill see you in my sleep
And if i choose to end it
Im so afraid
Ill never see you again

the irony begins again
Im sitting in the back of your car
For the fith time around but only this time its different
Because you asked me if ive ever been in love
I laugh
The irony fills my throat
Ties it into a knot
Because i look at you
And i cant quite explain
That you are the person ive ever loved
And you are the person whos ever hurt me
To the point i couldnt breathe
But i look at you and i swallow those thoughts
Because you can never know
You were the one who started
This fire inside me

so now i spend my days
With my friends
smoking some ***
And hearing some good music
**** life is so good
But if only i knew
My excuse are the drugs
I just dont want to think anymore

isnt it funny
How poetry is so beautiful
But the only way to write it
Is when youre in pain
but when youre in love
The words dont fit quite as well
Isnt it strage
that such beautiful things
Come out people
that are not quite so beautiful
Inside

the pure magic i feel
When you lay your fingers on me
Not the magic id ever expect to feel
And the beautiful sounds you make
When me hips move
In such a perfect rhythm
You are a singer
So you know every song i sing
When your fingers are telling me
Wich note to hit
But when im pleasing you
You ask me if im a dancer
And im not
But you still wonder
How i move so smooth

I try to think to myself and write what i feel
But nothing comes close to expressing how i feel
And as i write this
I still cant decide what i want to say

When im alone at night breathing to myself
I begin to think the things that led to this event
I feel myself detaching from my body and becoming the fear and anger i have inside me
I cant forgive myself
And now im starting to regret
Because getting used is quite not so good
Deep down i know it was my fault
But i still expected a call when i got home
I think again and realize how you were more than just a "friend"
Now the important thing ive learned is
To never **** around with friends
Or the boys that once told you "your such an ineresting girl"

I feel sick to my stomach
When there's someone new
And its not you

This was the month that got us together
October is over and so are we
But every october ill remember
The things we did
And it will hurt
But october will end
And so will we
But this time forever
And there will be no october anymore
For either one of us

maybe its the feeling you give me
Maybe i just go too attached
But im so addicted to the thought of your hands
So please just bare with me
And understand that i can be all you want

you begin to tell me
Your thoughts
You tell me im the best youve ever had
And i freeze
Because i never think this would be
All those times I couldn't sleep
Wondering if i was good enough
And look how the tables have turned
Oh i shouldve known they always turn
You want more of me
And you cant resist
But since the tables turned
Might as well stay away
Im sorry i make you feel so good
Im sorry you cant resist

You said you could taste the drugs on my lips
But i tasted the alcohol on yours
So i guess we where pretty even
But then again im crying the river your swimming in
And your so happy
And im so sad
So i guess we werent that even at all

you got me on my toes and spun me around
You got what you wanted and left me on the ground
Now i sit here in silence looking around
Feeling the emptiness in my body
I think to myself how pathetic of me
Not you
Because deep down
I know id let you do it again

You were inside me
Where nobody has been before
I let you get inside me
Id let you do it again
It was like riding white horses
But i realized something
How you never really looked at me at all
My lips where the excuse to let your hands wander around
You said your work was done
You also said you tasted the drugs on my lips
I tasted the alcohol on your lips
I guess were pretty even
Except for the fact that im drowning in my tears
And you dont even think of me
So maybe were not so even
Because my heart skips 10 beats
And your heart dosent even beat
So know I understand
When you said take care
You where just looking at my mini skirt
Not even my face
I dont know what you thought
But i know it was the last time ill ever see you
But once i see you unexpectedly
Ill look into your eyes
And make you feel the pain i felt
When you left

The way you grabed me and held my hips
The way you touched me with your lips
They way you said all those things to me
Just to leave me breathless
& without a kiss

i was focusing on your lips
You were focusing on my hips
I was focusing on your face you where focusing between my legs
I was thinking of what to say
You where already leaving the opposite way
You never talked to me again

I wake up tired
I go to sleep in tears
I open my eyes and im afraid to live