Trapped in the rabbit hole, forever a lifelong journey
To meet and greet the cards and paint the roses red.
Sipping tea from cups that look more like forks.
Where has the Hatter gone, along with his parter the Hare?
And what of Mr. Dormouse? He's gotta be in there.
The Queen of Hearts has faded away, like a palpitation.
The Cheshire cat has spent his nine, giggling in the dark.
Dare we speak of Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee?
They got a domestic partnership, and live forever as combs.
Then we come to the White Rabbit, who seemingly late
had to be eaten, and tasted rather great.
The most pleasing thing to my mind
Was that the flower bed, soft for chattering lilies and roses
Was now harder than fruitcake, severing their vocal chords.
Now they just stood there, silent and foreboding.
All the while, I was the hub of Wonderland.
That's what you get when an Amazon goes down the Rabbit hole.
(Inspired from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass)

Everyday.
Every ******* day.
I have to have this conversation
with you.

About what an idiot you are.
How ******* pretentious you are
to think you could ever have him.
Do you think he even notices you breathe?

Probably not.
Maybe you should try not to
That might get someone's attention
you pathetic little piece of worthlessness.
You should be ashamed of yourself.  

How arrogant can you be?
To think you would ever be considered
worthy of his time and attention.
He is everything you lack.
Everything you will never be.
You are a monster.
He is everything that is good.

It amazes me that even though
you know you don't have a chance in hell
you still make up these
little fantasies in you head.
You still write poetry about it.
You mind keeps convincing yourself it isn't so
but your idiot heart won't let you forget.

It's a little cute.
How impossibly naive you are.
It's time to end this little charade
and just give up.

You could turn off your feelings.
Or you could just stop thinking about it.
Or you could really show you care
and **** yourself.
Stop the embarrassment.
End the nuisance.
But suicide would be pretty pointless since
you are already dead.

Everyday.
Every ******* day.
I have to have this conversation
in my head about you.

I want to scream it so loud
that you can't help but hear it.
But the truth is, I know
you already know I'm right.

So I stop talking.
I look away from the mirror,
away from my reflection
and continue with my day.
Praying I take the advice.

Once I had thought that wizards existed
and I was king of Persia.
I drew with chalk on the ground
and sang to the birds, thinking I could speak their tongue.
(In my mind...)
I could fly, far to distant lands.
I could morph into animals and warriors,
defending the Queen Grandma from the evil villain Grandpa.
(In my mind...)
Long ago, those dream were real.
There was no difference.
(In my mind...)
I was invincible.
(In my mind....)
Then life hit me.
(In my mind...)
Grandma and grandpa could no longer play horsey
and aged to a ripe old age.
I morphed into an adult, with bearded chin and hairy chest.
My wings were clipped and I was forever grounded.
(In my mind...)
The birds tweeted, and my chalk broke.
My crown was tossed into the bin with my childhood.
(In my mind...)
Wizards only exist in books. Persia is long gone.
Where did life go?
Give me my wings back.
Crown me again.
Let me fly high, let me be king again.
All of this, in my mind.

High on the cliffs above Lake Lachrimose
Lived a dear old woman taunted by ghosts,
Some of her present and some of her past
Hoping that each episode would hurry by fast.
She could not bring to terms of her dear old Ike
Who died by the leeches, gnawing alike.
He went in the water too soon after eating
and soon became a memory that is any but fleeting.
But now she meets Olaf, spoken in lie
He promises pearls, but soon she'll die
by the same way Ike did, eaten alive.
(Based off of The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket)

Count every calorie
1,2…Too many
Try each quick trick,
power shake,
weight loss,
fat *******,
muscle building,
fiberlicious,
piece of ******* I can get my hands on
Take the stairs, not the elevator
Walk to work, then walk home
Jog in place,
Do 10 push-ups,
Jumping jacks,
Tuck jumps,
Sit-ups,
Scissor kicks,
You name it I’ve done it
I’ve stuck to my diet for so long
My menu has consisted of a million and one ways to say bland
I have looked into low-fat,
No fat,
Fat free,
Sugar free,
Sodium free,
‘Feel free, to leave me on the shelf because I taste like dog ****’
versions of every name brand in the produce section
and now…now I would **** for some cheese fries,
Or a giant cake just for me,
An entire package of Oreos dipped in Nutella,
Or simply a candy bar
Dieting takes will power,
But vending machines take mere pocket change.

I'm so ******* stupid.
You aren't good for me,
Like poison.
But I yearn for you.
I cry over you.
I want you.
I need you.
Almost as much as I need air.

I was a stupid 16 year old,
Falling in love with you.
Here I am now,
Almost 20,
Still madly in love with you.

I'm so ******* stupid.
You're no good for me.
Like the apple that tempted Eve.
It ****** up paradise.
You ****** up my life.
You ****** up my mind.
You ****** up my heart.
But I still want you.
I still love you.

I'm so ******* stupid.