I wish I had beautiful
metaphors and lines
constantly swirling
around my mind that
I could let flow out
At the drop of a hack
to tell you exactly how
I am feeling.

However, sometimes
I can barely grasp the
nomenclature of this
swell and release I
feel shifting inside of
myself.

Sometimes I have so much
love to give and nowhere
to direct it.

I want to give it all to you,
but distance has made
that an impossibility.

I want to give it to the flowers
but the chill of changing
seasons has shriveled them.

I want to give it to the song,
but my voice can no longer
find the perfect pitch.

Now I can only absorb the
love left in the pages of poets
whose feelings are all too familiar.

And I wait to have somewhere
to spread my love without
spreading myself too thin.

I am constantly berated
for my lack of empathy
and desire to show
emotion to others.

However the instant
I place my heart
on my sleeve,
you brush it off
my shoulder as if it
were a particle of lint.

I’d like to believe
that the fates
are not randomly
spinning their
wheel. I’d like
to believe that
some superior
being has
calculated and
formulated
you into a
grand plan
for me. And I
would give
anything for
this not to be
just chance
or purely a
coincidence.

But I am
painfully
aware of the
impermanence
of people in
this life. And
soon this wheel
of fortune will
turn again, and
you will find
yourself simply
passing by me.
Without a
flicker of
doubt in
your
mind.

There must be a part of my brain missing.
An important segment that never fully developed.
A special sector designed to tell me
how to feel, when to feel it and
how to share it with others.
And they say I’m callous,
they say I’m detached,
they say I’m heartless.
But I know I feel something more.
I can feel it stirring inside me,
Just waiting for the right moment to escape.
So I’ll wait. And wait. And wait.
I’ll wait for the day when I can finally make the change.
I’ll trade this empty, numb feeling for a million beautiful ones.
Then I will spout them off, one-by-one, all by their given name.

You fill the spaces of me
that have been eroded away
by time and trials.
Your soothing waves rush
over the divets in the sand
that is my soul and re-smooth
the surface.

Ive always struggled
with the concept of
virginity and why
it was so important.

But it wasn’t until
I had no say in whether
I was able to keep
mine or not that
Ive cared so much
about having it