I’ve experienced my deepest pain
And greatest breakthroughs
On a yellow couch.
The window in the room has a perfect view of an oak tree
That I’ve watched slowly change from green to orange leaves.
My eyes have traveled across the same painting of the ocean
For hours as words and tears spill out of me
Like a tangled up *** of yarn.
I’ve been holding on to it for so long
Not knowing how to handle the continuous string,
but I’m lucky to have someone to grab my jumbled thoughts
And untangle them with me.
For the longest time I was proud of the mess I managed inside
And thought I was capable of untangling it myself.
What I’ve learned is that I am capable.
Not because I have it all figured out,
But because I have the strength to admit that I don’t.
The longer I live the more I see that I can’t carry
Everything that has happened to me by myself.
And that’s okay.
Everytime I sit down, I remember the first time I sat here
And the slow but steady progress that followed
Each time I’ve met this room.
The inside of my mind would look so different
If I hadn’t pushed myself
To sit on that yellow couch.

m.h.

Your mind is a galaxy.
All I know is that one day I was pacing Earth,
And the next I was preparing for takeoff.
I had been long awaiting this trip,
Ready to explore the space of you.
I couldn’t have prepared myself
for all I would see.

Supernovas exploding,
like your heartbeat when our lips touch.
Black holes
absorbing my insecurities and doubts.
Constellations of your past:
the house you grew up in, your first car, the night we met.
Binary stars of all our memories,
all the moments your soul and mine spent together.
There was no way my eyes could absorb the entirety of your galaxy.
All of the colors and light like fireworks,
completely overwhelming, but so beautiful.
You kick yourself for even blinking because you don’t want to miss a moment.

That’s how I feel every day with you.
The deeper I travel into the space that is you,
The more I see why you were hesitant to let me in.
The darkness here can be overwhelming,
But the brightness of the stars that reside keep me wanting more.
Your heart and mind are made up of the north stars and nebulas that made me fall in love.
So I don’t care how dark it gets,
As long as you let me,
I want to keep going,
And I don’t want to miss a moment of your galaxy.

m.h.