What has me?
Jealousy
Jealousy ruins
Everything.

I am jealousy you bestfriend,
Your ex.

How can I learn how to cope?
I cope by telling you.
How do you respond?
Your jealous of Erica?

It didn't help me one bit.
In fact it made it all worse.
Why?
Trying to cope now.
No help by you.
The one I love.

Behind her tears
There is anger and sorrow.
Behind her fake smile
there is lies and fear.


She seems to be all alone,
No group to accept her.
Everyday she sits alone,
No one there to talk to.


She started to smoke and drink.
Hoping all the worries would go away.
When that didn't help,
She started to smoke ***.

As she lit up, what would be her last joint.
She thought about suicide.
No one would know...

The next day, she was the talk of the school.
No one knew why?
Her parents planned her funeral.
The star football player cried
The cheerleader felt bad.

Her little brother, wondered what happened?
Why he couldn't touch her?
Her sister became a drug addict.
One boy at school, cried for years to come.
Why didn't he ask her.

I hate how, she my bestfriend,
Is your ex....
Yes, I am jealous
Of her.
She's too pretty
She's too perfect
Unlike me..

I'm not pretty
I'm not perfect
Like she is.

Why are you with me,
If she is perfect?
Choose her.
Ruin our relationship
For one that is perfect.

Why choose me,
If you get to her,
When you want.
Why choose me.

If I only get to see
Every once in a while?

I see all these girls,
They are all really pretty.
They have friends, they are taken.
Then, you see girls like me.

These girls you see,
Are outcast.
They don't have anyone.
They feel oh so alone.

Why doesn't anyone care?
Why are these girls oh so alone?
How can someone hide pain, like her?

She is used to holding things in.
She is used to crying everyday.
She is used to being alone.
She is used to cutting.

Why is today any different?

sitting here all alone...
No one to hold me tight.

As the frowning comes,
the tears appear...
the razor comes out...
I notice, its clean

no blood, no skin, nothing

my wrist is scar free
my body, soul, and mind aches
not for sure what's going on...

I pull my sleeves up.
put the razor on my skin,
waiting for someone to care.

I pull the razor up,
watching the blood poor.
feeling slightly light headed,
I close my eyes.
never opening them again.

I think I am ready
To give it up to you.
I promise you I'll always
Love you.

I'm not for sure if it will
be painful.
I've been told it feels amazing
To give it up, when your ready.

Well, baby, I hope you know,
I've never done anything
Like this.
Nothing at all.

Where did the old me go?
The one who didn't cry every night?
The one who never disappointed anyone.
The one who loved everything.
The one who always had a smile?

Everything morning when I open my eyes,
I worry about what's going on?
How am I going to smile,
With the pain I have.

When I look in the mirror.
I see pain.
When I look at my wrist,
I see scares.

No one really see 's my pain.
On one ask where my scares came from.
No one cares.
I'm standing knee deep in pain.

In my world,
its dark and gray.
No color, No life...

Its all about everybody but me.
No body cares..
so I end up cutting just one more time.
just hoping that I wont awake.

once again,
I start to pop some pills here.
I feel dizzy, light headed.
I feel so dazed.

so many times I have done this,
hoping I wont awake.
this world of mine,
just wont let me die.

why am I still here?
so I start to over dose.
the next day I feel pain.
so I cut just my last time.

I'm used to this feeling,
the loneliness.

Asking me why, I'm lonely.
he's not here to hold me,
in this lonely place.

When this feeling comes,
The razor comes out.
my wrists bleed.

I end up crying,
hoping I won't awake,
from this, my dream.
Dying in the inside.

The love we have
Is so strong.
Our Love Is possible
To have

The way we are together
the way I miss you,
When we are not together.
The butterflies I get,
When we kiss.

The moment I get to live
With you.
Will be amazing.
Waking up next you every morning.

I can't wait til' you ask me,
To marry you.
I can't wait to start my life
With you.

I really do love you
With all my heart.

Can't you see me,
The pain in my eyes?
I'm used to this pain...
No body knows the real me.

Can you hear my heart cry?

I lay in bed at night.
I cry myself to sleep,
Hoping one day...
I won't awake.

Why you must ask?
       because, no one cares.
No one would cry over me.
No one on this earth would miss me.

As I lay in bed thinking,
My thoughts get worse.
And... I start to cut.