Sweat pooled
above my chewed lips
while my ears turned pink,
toes curled
inside my shoes
sweaty fists
opening and closing.

Flat eyes watched
and waited
while I grew deaf
with the silence

I have no reason
no reason
to claim,
I know the secret
the secret
to joy,
But I hear the mystery,
the mystery
of love,
Is to forgive and be forgiven
be forgiven
for distrust,
So I know my lacking,
my lacking
of love,
Is my yearning to pursue,
to purse,
my joy,
When I should be empty,
be empty
of claim

The shield gets thicker
and the hand that wields it
stronger,
and in foggy nights,
even blind with sleep
the left arm is ever ready

and so easy is the foe
who comes from friend
making reason politely

every gesture turned
words said undone
eyes disguise intent
spies in fellow ones

this is war, the real deal
that is seldom revealed
it is the lone warrior who knows
stories always left untold

I forgot how to breathe
underwater; serenity
inhale-exhale seemed like exercise
the wheel chairs moving
on white lawns
like exile

life behind lenses not tinted
but rimmed thick; reality check
felt like harsh sunlight

leaving bokeh lights clouding
my judgment
and I grew afraid

of insight - behind clouds
shrouded but certain
the windmills continue to rotate

left - right
left right

love is pain
so deep it shrivels
everything it touches

mighty,
to spread waves
of heat and chills

selfish to evoke
memories of the time
the soul pulsed

devious
to throb in places
the fingers can't trace

love is death
of the concept of self
and the emerging after-self

soaring
to heights beyond measure
and fall in a blind rush

crippling
sounds and voices
to mourn in silence

love is life
of a buoy left at sea
after a raging storm

drifting.

I feel the rumble
of the groan
tremble through your body
sending shivers
delightfully
down my spine
while I arch my neck
and ****** my face
while you spill
your desire,
coaxing heat
to spread through my veins,
the feel of rain.

I miss our walks in the rain,
when we used to live
in wonder and anticipate
the future, when we used to step
on water and laugh,
happy in that moment
of togetherness
and completeness,
away from the abject world
that poses questions
and answers,
in our own little
wonderland,
seemingly unaware
of the possibility
that things may go wrong,
and conscious of the faith
that great things are to come.

I miss our walks in the rain
holding each other's hand,
only to wriggly free
and skip ahead,
only to hop in merry;
leaving one to watch,
one to wait,
not always together
in battling life's
undue favors of time.

I miss our walks in the rain
for when it poured,
we'd wait,
holding time still
by sheer will,
unafraid;
not of the consequences
but of bearing them,
for isn't that what
the walk was all about?
It was us preparing
to march ahead,
with our head held high
into the storm,
unswayed.