Hearing stories from various individuals about their complaints about different things has become my daily menu. Not to mention that i sometimes attempt to relate their story to mine to discover what is familiar between us all. Furthermore, it ends up being Fretfulness.

Now and again i consider escaping the "space" i made myself yet do i truly need this space? Envision an existence without limits, opportunity that is so vast it will allow me to travel anyplace with no control. Truly, i need that control. I need that space, that limit.

Fretfulness isn't incited: it attempts to discover avocation for itself, and to do as such, it utilizes all things, the most contemptible affection, which sticks to It, when it discovers It. Fretfulness incites itself, uncovers itself, it is a limitless creation. Fretfulness is an outflow of the flawlessness of human instinct. It is the yearning of the common life for the higher.

Ridiculous and mortal life is the acknowledgment of a piece of growing up and controlling fretfulness. That everything is impermanent and satisfaction is scarcity.

The stunning you see presently, isn't tomorrow
Particularly about the sentiments
Feeling regretful? Hang on briefly, don't feel excessively
Asking over and over—asking yourself inquiries, and again hanging tight for one another's answers
Clearly nobody replied
When will you keep on being this way?

One hour left.. what time is it?
Has your friends answered to your message? Try not to stress excessively
Need to taste the breeze? Simply go to the second floor overhang, remember to bring some espresso, you have been going to and fro twice
I'm starting to ask as many questions as you think
Am I your brain as well? I don't have the foggiest idea, how is it possible that anyone would know?

See, everything appears to be typical, right?
Try to incite your dread. How is it possible that it would be, you are extremely cheerful at this moment
Goodness, you can—indeed, on the grounds that you recall that you can handle this, correct?

You actually must be incited, as well
Try, listen the sound of the little chicks kidding
Isn't excessively irritating? Truly, simply increase the volume of your speakers
Not relaxed? Would you like to feel more relaxed?
Mention to me what you like other than praises to the leaves

Gracious, it's as yet the equivalent

Quiet down and don't get devoured by your own conscience,
Tomorrow you will forestall it with a similar way—can you?
Need a tissue? Only two minutes, you know, you promptly burst into tears
Oh, that thing, once more, would you say you are not happy with rehashing that scene?
There is no requirement for contributions to watch it

Other than
The lady you respect additionally gazes at the roof of her room each night
The man who consistently welcomes you is arriving at his fantasies—his darling who is usually close to him is dozing in her own room, expecting to meet him in a her sleep
The man with the sweet grin consistently asks you something very similar in light of the fact that you never attempt to ask him whatever else

All are contemplating themselves

Take it easy

There will be no more distress when you bite the dust from everything you could ever hope for
Two hands covered the ears from the boisterous hack of the elderly person
The clockwork thumps each night

As though all is well

As though all is well

Ya recall when we came?
I don't know for what reason yet I don't think our heads were totally clear
It feels familiar to have a talk—I frequently attempt to cherish that second
Without knowing whether to be heard or not
All things considered, that is not my capacity to know anything
Day, night, whenever
Interestingly, nobody hears or sees
Not a responsibility for each morning—but everytime, rather without fail, without getting exhausted
Although sometimes i was confronted for the sake of civilization culture
Truly, I can't
It is a disgrace to expose any lowliness to a crowd
Our shame that we keep to ourselves
Precarious inward breaks—no time to talk
Always represented by mom's mouth
Once more, the significance is faint
In the event that it seems like it, perhaps I can speak about our expectations. After all, I appear to be determined. Yes, I wasn't right either
At that point how might you vanquish your own sense of self towards significantly different people?
How might one remain on one own balance without being enticed by different people?
How should you control other humans' notions?
We concede that everything is the ruling of The Dependable
Be that as it may, now and then it's all our doing
So help us, offenders,

"Now, and at the hour of our death"

Just asking for help makes my heart sting—not doubtful but too despicable
We merit all the thoughts, acts, and words
If we actually have far to go, we will comprehend
I? I can't afford other people's ambitions
Maybe I won't ask—for me: just give what I deserve because I will always do what I want
And if I let my guard down, know that I am honest
Whose soul shall I hurt?
I need to concede that occasionally the aim isn't in accordance with the outcomes
But we have all endured our own suffering
Fair, right?
We're not going to tell the whole story
What I will say presently is that we are drained, we are frail, we surrender
I twist my knees each Sunday morning or evening
Obviously without anybody seeing
The Mazbah has seen me in an assortment of circumstances—glad, tragic, irate, unfilled, pleased, alcoholic, even fantasizing
I'm truly embarrassed
It's not as easy as forgiving others, it's also hard to forgive yourself

"As we also forgive those who wronged us"

Truth be told I have been slapped in many different ways
Many more than one cry that I thought was purposeless
I do not reject any negative experiences, on the contrary I also do not demand positive experiences
Eventually, being a support for another human is the main address that I go to
I want to become a meaning
I hope we can become a meaning

With your approval,


We bowed to the ground

Hari ini dia datang lagi
Dengan gaun kuning tanpa lengan
Rambutnya dibelah dua dan dikepang dengan dua warna karet rambut yang berbeda pada tiap-tiap ujungnya
Senyumnya manis sekali

"Dasar anak cantik"

Dia tersenyum semakin lebar sambil menawarkan aku setangkai balon
Sepertinya balon itu baru saja digelembungkan
Aku menggeseknya dengan kuku yang baru saja kupotong
Aku pikir dia akan mengernyit, entah kenapa dia malah tertawa

"Kemana saja kamu selama ini?"

Tertulis sebuah nama restoran yang kukenal pada balon itu
Jelas bukan tempat makan favoritku
Karena aku tak terlalu antusias saat melihat namanya
Sebuah tempat yang sering didatangi anak bini
Dipenuhi oleh emosi-emosi semu
Hanya untuk terlihat intim—setidaknya bukan tempat untuk anak gadis yang terus menatap layar ponselnya tanpa henti

"Darimana kamu tahu aku ada di sini?"

Dia memberikan aku kepingan lakban yang ternyata masih tercecer
Saat itu aku memperapikan koleksi buku harian, ya, dengan upaya untuk tidak melihatnya lagi
Supaya aku tak jatuh kepada rasa ingin membaca ulang semua tulisanku
Sial! Pasti dia mengawasi aku

"Apa tujuanmu kesini?"

Air mata berderai dari kedua matanya yang bulat
Seolah akan mengujarkan sesuatu dari mulutnya, dia hanya diam
Mungkin bukan diam, tapi mengoceh dengan kata-kata yang tak dapat kucerna
Kugenggam telapak tangan nya—sungguh kecil dibanding milikku
Dia masih saja menangis tanpa henti
Untuk segala tenggang rasa yang aku tahan kepada anak-anak, kali ini cukup iba rasanya

"Ayo, lah, aku hanya ingin merokok di sini"

Entahlah, enyahlah
Aku juga harus beranjak pergi dari sini
Lapangan tenis kosong yang dihiasi dedaunan repih

Tiga musim berturut-turut aku berupaya keras menggila
Di saat kewarasanku sedang ambruk
Pada saat yang sama aku tidak tahu apakah kau sadar bahwa aku sedang merasa
Atau jangan-jangan kau memang tidak pernah memerdulikannya
Sedikit banyak aku berharap semoga kau tidak perlu membaca ini
Jika iya, artinya aku sudah tiada di sini

Meskipun aku harus melihatmu mengenakan kaus hitam dengan rambut sepanjang itu—tentunya aku tak tahu bahwa rambutmu bisa tumbuh sepanjang itu
Dengan bunga berwarna kuning di telinga
Kau nampak seperti orang asing di mataku dan itu membawa ketersengsaraan sendiri
Suara-suara teriakan temanmu yang membuatku tertunduk layu
Semoga kau sadar bahwa—ya, aku keliru, tapi bukan itu harapanku
Aku tak pernah berburu air mata
Cacatnya tindak-tanduk
Dambaan-dambaan fana
Janjimu menjadi cerminan bahwa semuanya tak semestinya terjadi
Jika ya, artinya kau sudah tiada di sini

Mengenai ibuku—kau tahu dia tak paham bahasa tubuhku
Tak paham raut lukaku
Untuk perundingan hening pada pagi buta lain nya
Sepertinya kita terbiasa mengemasi firasat
Untuk senyuman tanpa arti dan tangisan tanpa rupa yang masih saja dipertimbangkan
Akankah kau halang aku untuk menghembus telapak kaki nya?
Jika ya, artinya aku sudah tiada di sini

Si Manis, yang tutur kata nya lembut
Namun siap untuk memecahkan piring makan kesukaanmu
Ruam pada tubuhmu
Bukan salahmu
Masihkah kau berdiam mematung?
Untuk anjing-anjing yang terus kau rawat
Noda pada kamar mandi yang kau bersihkan
Dan kaki-kaki yang kau pijat
Jika ya, artinya kau sudah tiada di sini