Sapped to a pastel
against the brightly colored world
(I'd rather live in dreams about you).
I've started taking things that aren't mine
to feel closer to memory.
All pale pinks of my skin
washed in the greens of your eyes.
The bonfires I build, the misty greys I exhale
are all smoke signals to you
across the world.
*Come home to me;
you are a home to me.

The love of my life so far is in Australia.
My life so far, I’ve gotten so far,
but I say it to mean “there’s more to come.”
My life so far,
he’s gone so far,
but I’m too young to expect him to stay.
Or to go roots-up with him.
My only job is to wait until January.
It’s not so far
till when he’ll be home,
but each moment in each cell aches with distance.
I am so far gone.

I saw him sitting at that desk drawing,
we were a bright neon star in a darker fall night.
He did not look up,
or see me the way that I saw him.
For me the world slowed down
white grit froze halfway up to some party kids nose
and the thumping bass slowed.
A light shined around him in a way,
my life changed in a way I will never be able to explain.

Feel muted sadness;
the lonely whir of your guts
look out the window

When the fox came at me, his eyes caught the last light.
I jumped in surprise;
when my feet hit the dust and dirt of the lonely meadow trail,
he turned his tail and dove into a bush.

I looked up to catch my breath
in time to see a falling star arc the sky.
Strong silver and unfaltering, the star fell
from it's throne in the sky to the horizon at my feet.

I was unnerved, and turned back the way I had come.
Standing in my path was another fox,
(presumably his mate) she looked into my eyes
then walked calmly away.

It was then that my heart turned to stone.

It was quick and sharp
like a needle under skin.
Instead: in my heart.

This place used to be like my skin
I knew every corner, every street, every wrinkle.
the sweeping expanses of prairie grass and flower fields
thick and always moving, like you could comb your
fingers through the lush green. Still a ten minute drive
in any direction.
The streets are so dusty and faded
that half the time the markings don't show up
but after all that time, I just know where to drive.
The place is the same, the players are different
and I think I want to move to India.