You’ve always been able
To project a stable
Appearance, to steer
My development
With gentle influence
But I fear its to
The detriment
Of your own progress,
Especially since
Each time I regress
You are right there
To set me back
On the track
To common sense,
Even when your own
Issues are far more
Important.
I thank you
Forever
While I
Try to find
Clever ways
To ease your mind,
But its so full
Of kindness
There’s
No room for
Flowers to bloom.

It’s the way the
Eleven a.m.
Sunlight comes in
Through the parallel
Spaces between the
Shingles of the
Blinds on my bedroom
Windows and buzzes
In glowing lines
That showcase the
Contours of your
Exposed back
While you sleep off
last night’s activities
On your stomach.

It’s the way the
Water runs down your
Forehead and around
Your nose
And through your hair
As you resurface
From underneath the
Cold water at the
Old preindustrial
Quarry in this
Postindustrial town
And the arc of the
Water drops
That sparkle in the October
Sunlight as you throw
Your head back to
Whip the hair
Out of your eyes
And the smile that
Blooms like marigolds
When you see that
Your beautiful hair
Has hit me square
In the face
And the laughter
That ensues.

It’s the way the
Back of your
Car makes me feel
When I watch
It driving
Away forever.

It’s about the American dream
To make more than you need
Through corporate greed
And pyramid schemes,
So I guess I’m not asleep
Since I eat rice and beans
In a crummy C.F.
Apartment,
Or what’s left of that
Ten by ten compartment
I can barely afford,
Like the ******
Degree that was supposed
To reward my hard effort
By leading me toward
A corner office
Or something
Like that
I should desire,
But **** it,
Let’s get higher,
I’m getting bored,
And my heart is heavy,
And I’ve been
Forsaken
By the country that
Bred me
Yet expects me
To slap on some flak
And attack
Fathers and sons and brothers
In Iraq
Over nothing
But ideological
Fluff
And political stuffing,
It’s nothing
It’s nothing
It’s nothing
It’s just not worth
The time or frustration
To engage in
This nation’s
Procreation
Of condemnation
Of logical reason,
Though reasoning
Lies not in the
Eye of the reasoner
Or that of the reasoned,
It’s gotta be easier
Than achieving
Appeasement
Through please
And leasing
Thank yous
To random
Strangers,
But if
You believe
They, like you,
Are human
Then the danger
Is fleeting,
Cuz they’re feeling
The same feelings,
The sane feelings of
The chronically
Sure,
The always right,
Everything in its
Right place,
Yea I know Tommy,
I must endure
And try to say
I should try to save
The knaves,
But life’s so easy
As a slave,
You buy your
Goods
And pave the way
For impoverished hoods
And hoodwinked
Majorities
Who’ve already
Made
The sacrifices
Necessary
For the necessary
To get paid,
Hope you did some good
With that bogus bonus
Mr. Suit and tie
And perfect life
With the plastic wife
And bank account
You’ll never drain,
No matter how many
Times you make it rain
On upscale hookers,
It runs too deep
To keep all to your
Selfish selves,
But I guess it’s our
Faults we don’t wear
The leadership caps
Cuz we should’ve pulled
Ourselves up by our
******* boot straps
And made something of
Ourselves, right?
Those that deserve
To make the big bucks
Make it happen, right?
Time for the forgotten *****
to put up a fight.

And I don’t think
I have ever seen
A sight
More worthy to
Behold
Than this relic
Of my past life
Glowing gold
In a bed of green

It seems to me
Its energy
Is tangible,
Is literally
Trailing gold threads
Through the chilled
October air,
And I’m not sure
If I’m seeing things
That aren’t there
Or if it’s really
My lover’s hair,

I suppose
I’ll never know
For certain
If those hideous curtains
Are still hanging
In the apartment
We used to get
Burnt in,
But I guess further
It doesn’t matter,
Not with the fervor
Of my new life as
A learner
Replacing my dreams
Of bounty and ******,

Not literally, you see
I never hurt her
Or treated her badly,
It’s just that once
She had me she’d
Had enough,

So what to do what to do
With all this free time
And all this free time
And all this free advice
About making limeade
From limes,
Or however the
**** that saying goes,

Either way this blows
And the wind is doing the same
And the way that the gold
Swirls around her frame
Makes me happy I still
Remember her name.

I’ve been breathing
When I’m supposed to
And keeping it held
When I get close to
Figuring out
What it means
To breathe in

And out
I leave through
A red door
Into the rain
To find some piece
Of mind floating
In a puddle
Next to a fry
Box from
Burger king

If I pick it up
And put it back
In my head
It’ll be wet
And that’s fine
I suppose

Irene still feels
So close,
She’s still in her
Mill floating
Through life
On a death-raft
Of pills

But I can’t stress her
I know she doesn’t need
Another stressor
I know she spent
Her last dollar on rent

It’s cheap but
So was the asbestos
In 1917
So I guess its a trade off

I take off my walking shoes
And trade off for a bike
And splash through
Puddles on my
Way to find the
Northwest passage
In North Providence
And I’m controlling my breathing

Or my breathing
Is controlling me
Either way I can’t
Really see
Cuz it’s dark
It’s raining
And I left my
Glasses next to
My mind so
They wouldn’t get
Wet and make it
Hard to see

It can’t be that hard to see
Why can’t the girl
With the book
On break
Simply look
Past the Ebt and
***** sheets
And see the dirt
Within me?
She’s seen Isaac
Proclaim
How much beauty
There is
In dirt

And I guess
I’m the same
But I guess
This is best
Since I’ll only
Hurt or be hurt
As we learn and
Forget
Each other’s
Names.

The girl named after the fruit
Has got her tongue
All tied in loops
As she tries to describe
Why the flowers bloom
In spring, not winter.
She imbibes
Glass splinters
To survive the snow
Driven
Depression
That comes with
The season.

She’s trying hard to explain
The way it makes her feel
When a thousand rain
Crashes drop onto her skin
In a rhythm of
Random points
Of pressure, and
The way the wind
Blows the rain
Into the left ear
Through her brain
And out of the right,
Cleansing her mind
Of any qualms,

Any frights,

Any problems
That might
Pose a problem.

It makes her free,
It sets her right,
But she can’t help
Wondering why
She runs
To her car,

Or to the door,

Or into the store,

To avoid getting wet,
As if she even can.

The girl named after the fruit
Sits alone next
To her couch,
With the stench of ***
Swirling through
Her apartment.
It mixes with the trails
Of smoke from
Her cigarette,
And she tries to figure
Out what
She is doing
There,
Why she has to
Bear the fruit
Of her labors,
The 12 years spent
At a lab table,

Behind a desk,

Or with her face in a book,

If all she gets now
Is a different *****
To **** every night
And a constantly
Growing hole
In her sanity,

Her bank account,

Her ability to recount
Exactly what happened
The day before.

She puts out her
Cig on the living room floor
And walks into the snow storm,
Naked except for her
Hello kitty socks.
She becomes one with the white,
She merges with the way
The ice crystals
Swirl in the air,
She fuses with their
Trails and the intricacies
Of falling stars
Until she blows away,
To melt basking
In the sunshine
Of a late
February day.

The t.v. is still on,
there’s a blue wall
that replaces the glass with
a soft textured glow
and I’m lying on my
left side because
the right is still sore
around the ribs
and I’m looking at the
eleven-year-old alarm clock
blinking the same time
over and
over
again I flip the pillow
I look over your shoulder to
try and see your face
with my dark adjusted
eyes, but all I can make
out are the highlights from the window
on your forehead
your cheek
the tip of your nose
the edge of your chin
your bare shoulder
the highest edge
of your extended arm
the top of your breast
and I don’t need to see the
rest cuz I know it’s there
and I know what’s second
best so I move the hair
away from your eye
So it won’t annoy you
if you awake to it there,
I lay back
down on my left
side with my left
arm underneath your neck
and my right over
your stomach with my
fingers crossed
and I wonder if I’m
dreaming as I slip
from one world
to the next.