The seagulls fly in and out of each other extracting biological trash from their Fake Plastic bodies

useless objects purchased
by sexless people.
objects they make love to
the only way they know how.
they bring neighbors
and ****** are spilled
from under dressing room doors
onto shoes designed for
this sort of marathon.

your new blouse: ******
your bracelet: true love

pharamone spray
in bottles smells
like commercials
selling eternal youth
and animal lust
which your body
used to sweat
onto a mattress
with no sheets
in an apartment
with no power.

my heart is the native drum which i drum
and the heat which it leaks
is the land where im from.
it dies in the earth
and was born of the sun.
it speaks to me deep.
ghosts of wild beasts come.

to make the water dance
because we ask it to dance.

we are gods.

absently witness
the afterlife of suns.

absently witness each other.

ive never actually left my chair
except for when i died
and got lost on the Penrose stairs.

i live next door to a cannibal
but im seeing if i can just move
in with him.
so i sit naked
in the yard
and try to
look
appetizing.

if you become naked
satan look at me please.

observe with eye
see with soul
heal with hand
touch with love
love with mind
think with heart
feel with empathy
learn with emotion
interperate with consciousness
teach with compassion

deconstructing the building and building the deconstruction.
make a man to unmake himself back to dirt.
if you travel back in time youd immediately travel to a time before you traveled back in time bringing you right back to the present...this is how to travel forward in time.
if you dig a hole the same shape as you and lay in it, what will you be laying in?
i can try to make anything a paradox. but maybe everything is not a paradox...a 4year old girl with a grey plastic bag on her head will one day die.


maybes are the only thing that we can accomplish, maybe.
robots have their own world wide web.. do they have their own face book?
"my beepbeep went boopboop today"
"getchyo beepbeep outta my beepbeep boopboop!!"
"my connection is current"
"my current is connected"
"buzz lightyears gay"

it feels like a bunch of baby birds are being born down there and they all want to fly away.

medusas eyes are vibrant lights;
they turn me to stone.

incandescent slits speak
incantations wrapped in moans.

her head of snakes
their tongues that rake
my dead skin from its bone.

her garden breathes my nakedness;
we touch when we're alone.

her flowers lift their heads
and wrap us tight
as we are sewn.

together we are sewn.

f

Theres a fire burning
somewhere in the world
and nobody knows about it.
I'm packing a bag
and moving there
in the morning.

Evismisalial.
Terrical.
Langarsian.
Perdonatriasic.
Climson.
Talp­aratardenter.
Kiltafair.
Chemsbot.
Strester.
Klemson.
Tilmidair.
­Feltonasodomide.
Percussive.

in the darkness
there are shapes of color
working together as a machine
whos only function
is to keep the shapes
together in motion.

the purest thoughts ive seen.
shapes without words.

take you very away from me
when there are women
dancing in the curtians
and there are eyes..
everywhere looking into you.
to pull you from
who you are.

when the truth comes out
it hurts everyone in the room.
like giving birth to a stick of
lit dynamite.

i hear electric guitars
and screaming and crying
and people being honest about death
and this is my tribe.

dancing in each others families
we make love to whoever we love.

our bodies arent boundaries
because we see right into eachother.

  we're lost in woods
and in one anothers escape
from a home we're unwilling
                                  to build.

time almost misses us
but creeps in through
the hair in our hands
that is longer when
we let eachother go.

we accept that we were never born
          and live as this requires.

we make shelters in our hearts for     
        everyone we've ever loved.

       a shelter where they come to
               eat  or  rest  or   die


and that is where
our songs are made
until our hair grows clear.

and when the sun forgets our name;

you see
an ancient people
in these woods

and you tell your lover
youve just seen a ghost.

i jump from
the ship that it was
into the sea
that it has become.

i said something
so loving about you
so long ago i guess

by the time they came
marching back around

carrying the news

they were greyed
and had forgotten
what it was
they were sent out
to replace

and we were left
mumbling
i assume

there was a tiny bug
on my screen:

i did not squoosh him
so i did not
write this.

no blood, guts.

nothing.

it rains dead pianos
when i try to sleep.
it drives the cicadas
inside them to drink.
i must be possessed,
or so says my shrink.

hospitals, for many people,
are the dividing line between them and death.
places of worship, for many,
is the dividing line between them and god.
people, are always,the diving line between them and people.

if i dont have a meaningful relationship
with a good woman soon
im going to cut off
my *****.

if i dont have a meaningful life soon
im going to cut off
my head.

if i dont have a meaningful head soon
ill fill it full of
snake venom
and drink.

decomposing roses
rose between my toes
and closing in on me
imposing on me
til i have chosen
the choice to flee

and the flowers
burst into bodies that flower

now humans
can take
their skin
and skeleton
and turn them
into a tent
and live in it
in the city.

i look inside myself long enough
and see a skeleton
trying to dig his way out.

I rigorously make the **** deal itself
to the stolen wine bottle.

but ******* and bukowski ... what i already filled.

Any genius left is bygone by just gone.

and no one is left to envision.

its a murr..

there's nothing left, I say.

i lay my body to sleep.
my heartbeat sounds like its
trying to tiptoe across my pillow.
it must think that im dead
and its trying to leave.

i enjoy my author.
he is a good author.
i love my author.
he does not think highly of me.
i can not cope.
i will end it all.
goodbye.

words have no soul
but they speak to me

the train trudges by
without meaning
speaking of its street art
in a digital tongue

jimmy       has       3       teeth      left       and          $17.
donnie    gives    $20    blow-jobs    and    has    9    fingers.
kim  hooks  7  nights  a  week  and  pays  her  ****  66.6%.
chico killed both of his parents and sewed them together.
how  much  does  mandy  spend  on  food?

all the lights
get smaller and smaller
to eachother

my broken soul
wanders to your house.
uninvited and unwelcome.
my body has become a ghost
haunting only your memory.

i wander into the bathroom
and flush myself down the toilette.
i walk out
and i am flushed.

nothing has changed
it is a room still for rent.

my minds always crooked
my spoons always bent.

i guess i should;
walk a dog
paint a house
read the word
**** time
come to terms
know myself
listen well
go to the movies
take a walk
save a life
change the world
call the press
build a chair
watch for crooks
learn italian
take a bath
cook a meal
shoot a bird
drive to work
dance with soul
sing with heart
feel with both
live without
die instead
make amends
tell the world
be at one
free.

a shadow moves in me

it lives in my mind.

it is a
formidable
and
eerie
contender.

a psychedelic manifestation of form;
we leave this place.
we live inside of each other,
lit by the light
of the near death
of everything;
it passes through our bodies.

time is a molecule
which we ride upon;
a play thing for children.

we grow closer
or further
from eternity-
the nature of the soul we share.
-the eight-limbed creature
sews its bodies into;
one breathes out to one breathes in.
swallow each other
back onto the floor,
and *****
our psychedelic
manifestation of form.

this poem is old
and dying.

ill visit it
sometimes.

by no means an account that a mother can be proud.
gave birth to a fluid sack of incestuous snakes all ***** each other down to one.
and molted and hardened and grew wings to fly to a borrowed attic
to cocoon into a bug of an uglyish man.
a pitiful sunken-in man.
a missing teeth man.
has secrets he shares with no one walks the streets but the government has on paper.
and has secrets that only he and his ded kno, burried and grown to soil, and watered.
children he had suffer as he suffered at the calloused hands of the Cruel.
makes no waste cuz he saves fresh and old to be reused one day and for what he dont kno.
has the illness of child still reaching for candy.
and mouth warped around the shape of drugs.
misconnectioned wires show the glimpse of a ghost life,
and walks giving off the fumes of a shut-down asylum lit from its burnt-out and muttering bulbs.

noone has eyes left in this room. i mustve walked in through the wall. tiptoed around the piled-up death, im *****, and marched my smile right into the madness. ill **** any corpse clever enough to not be a corpse...but any corpse will do... with that glazed look from your face filled with dumbness, i wonder what it is youre imagining; to deduce, one must wonder: did ye hast eyes from the birthening??..... cold grey child, id have gone wild on your skin. but now, with fear etched in your brow, youre stretched too thin for it to be sin. with my hooves and my claws i applaud your rotting body torn and clawed. i tare your form from form. and from existence; the never born. enjoying the rhythm of clacking teeth to the tone of your lungs collapsing. im dancing and laughing. prancing and clapping like the little dead girl that im wearing, every stitch is miss-matching.. and yes, your being im crushing, and youre no audience, but still, im blushing; i look smashing. not much of a musician, but ill try to make nice sounds. tips and taps and hums and dee-dee-dee's. clicks and clacks from my tongue.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAAAHHHHHHHH... its so FRIGHTENING!!!! ISNT IT?!! and you like it. it excites you.. it makes nice sounds. so much so your orgasming or convulsing. and your eyes would be rolling in the back of your head if you didnt have gaping holes there instead. that i **** and i fill as your soul escapes and spills out onto the floor; like a snake to its skin: you poor thing, youve shed. the puddle of you left mumbles some useless question with your definite last breath: why? - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! WHY??! ..for i am the cataract in satans left eye while i swiftly sew his right eye shut. to see nothing but the haze of souls to fry every time he decides to look up.... and thus you bubble some sputter and spew with your mouth gaping wide as my tongue laps your hyde. HHHHHH... i steal that last breath from you from inside of your chest as i give you your death. fear freedom you spawnless *****. as i drop a very large stone onto your chest cavity. i give you your death but in death, again and again... you look ravishing. i am the Maddening.

Nobodies going to survive
this life
and im

Willing to wager all my love
on this
with you

And i just hope you have the heart
to do
the same

Yes we will die but we will thrive
until
we fade

Yes we we can live but we will fade
unless
we thrive

And these are all the things that ive
been meaning to

Share with you along with all of
my love,
my love

To everyone ive ever loved
oh   how   i    love   you

and i hope that you are happy
(as happy as can be)
(oh god im happy)
(and watching clouds)

and i hope that you do smile
(more often than not)
(and your heart swells)
(when i see you smile)

and i hope that you are laughing
(for no reason at all)
(and crying)
(tears of joy)

and i hope that your heart swells
(when you look around you)

and that youre surrounded by

everyone youve ever loved

and i dont mind that im not there

because im in the clouds above

and i can see you watching

and i can see you smile
(and my heart swells)

im raining tears of joy and laughing.

To everyone ive ever loved,

    i want you to know
   that i still love you
  and care about every
   hair on your bodies
  and im sorry because  
i know that ive failed you
(and nothing can stop me)
(even if youve forgot me)
(i hope you havent forgotten me)

youre  everyone ive ever loved
my heart is emptying without you
and so im filling it with
everyone ive ever loved
and i deserve to be deserted
by everyone ive ever loved

like water fills a vase and gets
soaked up by a rose
until its brittle and it breaks
until its dead and decomposed
whats there
that could serve
in your stead
well only my heart knows
theres nothing left i can accept
so in my heart a cancer grows

time slowed down
and walked right passed me
and i couldnt look it
in the eye
but it followed me home
and i remember the last thing
it said to me right before
it left in the night was
remember me.

im a city boy
a ***** city boy
i live in a hot city
filled with ugly people.
it gets so hot
that sometimes i tyink its the heat
that must melt their faces off
to show how ugly they are underneath.
oh in my city
if you walk for an hour or more
youll find the ocean.
and on the beach there are some people who are in love i guess.
and they may think that the ocean
and eacother are pretty.
but will they love eachother
when they have cancer in a bed
from breathing that ***** city
air i guess they wouldnt be alone when they die
if they hadnt lived there
well neither would i, so.
i shut my eyes sometimes and try yo be a part of nature.
but the only nature that comes close to me is the mosquitoes.
i let them **** on my blood and i try to ignore em.
but then i hear some some rap and people talking about *** and crack
while im trying to stay clean,
well those mosquitoes, ive got some
***** city blood for em.

if i ever met a moose hed ask me
for my social security number.
and if i ever got attacked by a bear
itd be during his winter hibernation.
and if a mountain man ever told me his wisdoms hed sound like a crazy mumbler.
yeah everyone in the city looks at you crazy if you dont make sense
but they dont make sense.
and even the cleanest city in the world wouldnt make sense because,
people and cities dont make sense.
i think cities without people and
people without cities make more sense than rap and *** and crack.

time
to climb
the tallest building.
so i can ask a very rich man
what time it is.
and he'll look at me and call security
and have me escorted from the building.
but in the minut that im up there
ill forget about the time
because maybe ill be able to see the stars for the first time.

the police men have my face
in their computers in their cars.
and because i was poor in the city
and doing drugs i ended up behind bars.
but now i know that no matter where you are you can be in a spiritual prison.
but our cities are are gonna sink our mountains so we're gonna make a city fly to mars..
so we can go there and start over so we can make some cities so we can have wars again.

i live in a city named after a fish
in a homeless shelter.
one day a cute little kitty showed up
she was lost and scared and i helped her.
so shes my homeless kitty and now i love her.
i guess shes probably hungry so im gonna give her some fish.

its in the jails
when you say goodbye
to the only friends you have.

the homeless shelter
when
you find your love
and dont know
if she'll love you
when
you leave.

if youll be on a couch
in the bosses house
ready for the rides
to work.

if youll ever retire.

or just wear out
and die.

watching memories
until you
have to make them up
as
you go along.

if youll

nourish

the soil

or if

the plants

grow

all

by

them

selves.

whered all the music go?
i dont see it anymore.
all the words that used to sing
inside my head well now theyre dead
and now i cant remember what the words were for.

an egg is cooking in my heart.
my blood has nowhere left to go.
i cut a spout into my body
the egg plummets to my stomach
and my stomach is devoured by my soul.

...i hear the word of god.
...in everything i hear.
i try so hard to listen
to the stars but theyre too far
and i suspect that only death will bring me near.

some say that were born of the earth.
its only a home for our bodies.
and the universe is nothing
but a home in which it roams
and now the universe , the earth and you are rotting.

there is a purity in silence.
but even that is super sonic.
be still for nothings perfect
theres no cure to being pure
theres no end to what you can have if you dont want it
do you get it? first its hidden then it isnt now youve got it
but you cant get something when it cant be got its
such a mess but i digress until im nothing which is perfect
and it taught itself so well to me, i fought it but it won and now its done
and now im one with what is done,
i think ive got it, but dont think
yeah now ive got it. do you want it?
if you want it you cant have it
do you want it? . .

. . . . .

there is no distance in between us.
we are the water of the sea.
we're empty and we're floating
and we're where objects are paired
but the objects are empty just like you and me
and everything thats in between the empty space still can be seen
and its comprised of exactly the same nothing.
...its in the waters that we wade
and a new ripple is made
when empty and nothing to one another sing.

can you hear the silence ring?

i wake up from dreaming you saying
ill love you tomorrow
and everyday after that

i wake up and wonder
what you're dreaming

black out the moon is
white out the sky.
empty blocks of color
talking back and forth
through rotten teeth
falling out and crawling
back into the darkness
of the mouth of our mind.

strings of sentences slide by
like a pit of snakes and multiply.

over time the old ones die
and the young ones left alive
swim out of it and get
back onto the hillside to dry.

ancient spirits watch it rain hawks
through the whites
of dead men's eyes
who still walk and inhabit the night.

i know
what it is to be
immutable madness.

for this decade of my flesh
pushing through the streets
under the sun to find a place
to sleep in the shade,
my rhythms have been guided
by the mesmerizing code
told to me
by my very own
self appointed hypnotist.

the spider who sleeps deep in my ear
who's dreams drip down my throat
and fill a pool inside of my chest.

but i never knew the tongue in
which a spider speaks.

i know not what i have done.
i woke up in a place lost to the world.