This isn't a journal entry.
It's been raining for a week, momma.
I know my girls cold and she just wants to sleep, momma.
But right now I don't think she wants to speak to me, momma.
I must have done a terrible deed, but momma these days I barely get any sleep.
Everyone always needs me so I can't get any time to just breathe.
I know it's hard to stay afloat when the ship is about to sink, ---
Boys ain't supposed to cry, momma.
But it's to hard to not get teary eyed, momma.
When everyone around you can barely stay alive, momma.
I've got friends on the brink of suicide, momma.
They want to sleep to, but momma they never want to wake up.
I still get emotional when anybody brings James up.
I still get emotional when people tell me I'm too little, cause momma how am I gonna protect my family if I'm too little.
Only I know that size never matters in a fist fight, momma.
And I hope my brothers got my back when I get tried, momma.
And I never want to find my boy on a riverside, momma.
I know how he feels, he don't want to be alive--
There's so many problems my boys are facing, momma.
I just pray that they're all okay, momma.
I gotta stay strong to keep they heads up, momma.
I barely have the energy to keep my head up, momma.
I feel like I fail everybody, momma.
It's been a long time since I've cried, momma.
But I shed tears bout it every night, momma.
But you told me boy should never cry, momma.
That's why I kept the tears inside, momma.
All I ever wanted was to make you proud, momma.
All I ever wanted was to make you proud, momma.