i stand on the brink
of beginning,
on the edge
of the end.

dusk will fall and
time will run out,
and by daybreak,
there's no going back.

today will fade
into a distant yesterday
and i can only go
forward from then on.

i'd be lying if i said
that there is no fear.
i've lost count of the nights
i could barely even breathe.

things are changing
too fast, too much,
too soon, too early,
and i'm not ready.

i've never felt
a change so drastic,
so new; dramatic
enough to want a stop ‑

for a pause button
doesn't exist
because time is cruel
and it waits for no one.

time will have you
grovel in the dust
that it leaves behind,
holding on to nothing.

it will let the world
pass you by and sit back
to watch you struggle
to get back up.

i am afraid of time
because time is powerful
and it is painful and pays
no mind to those it hurts.

it can build walls
between hearts and souls
that are separated by
hours, breaths, blinks.

it is a hurricane that sweeps
through order and peace,
and spits you back into
chaos and disarray.

i am afraid that time
will take my world apart
and leave it in shambles
that i can never put back.

i am afraid of losing
the strings i've worked
so hard to thread that
hold me together.

i am afraid that
twenty kilometers
is too far a distance
for me to conquer.

i am afraid that tomorrow
and the years to come
will form a regret, a weight
to sit on my chest.

i only have so many
breathless nights left,
and i'm, second by second,
running out of time.

hey, it's me
how are things?
are you there? i miss
you so much

i know ***** and break-ups
don't mix and i
know that's probably
why i'll regret this tomorrow.
i hate myself but i
called just to tell
you i'm sorry

but

will the day come when
we would want to
see the sunset and watch
each sunrise with each
other - will you love me
again by then?

no.
never mind.
bye.

there comes a point in time
when you have nothing
to give away
to the searching hands

wandering, dancing over
veins and joints
that are barely there.
they will ask for parts

forgotten, areas destroyed
and you will hand them
the rubble only for it
to be swept away.

there comes a point in time
your soul will hunger and thirst
for things you can
no longer feed it.

it will cry out for you
like a newborn baby
but you can only pass it
rice grains of promises

that fate will be kinder
to your already broken body.
you put your soul to rest,
and pray for sweeter dreams

you will lose your spine
and find vertebrae in letters,
bottled up and sailed off,
sent to long lost lovers.

your palms are empty,
reaching for bodies
sleeping in beds
that are no longer yours.

cold gasps settled into
the fine lines of song lyrics,
impossible to return
back down to your lungs.

you will have given
everything you have
to the universe, letting them go
into the expanse of space.

all you have left for yourself
is space rock and asteroid dust,
but for some reason,
you never ask for more.

you leave it up to hope
that gravity will pull
your fragments
all the way back to you.