A Life Time

There are no words to describe the love .
There is nothing left to feel about the loss.
Maybe in another life time, when we are both well.
Maybe on the other side.
I’ll look for you when I get there.
I don’t know if I will recognize you if you are well.
I won’t know what to do if you are actually capable of loving me.

The theory’s and possibilities never end, yet they ended long ago by inner death and broken promises.
Almost a full life time was spent fearing your wrath to relieve your plague.
Then when I was still alive, I realized that I had waited in vein for an end to my torture by the death that never came.

I was alive and standing by the side of the road.
I was alive after all that time.
Alive and free.
Finally.
No more need for the field of daisy’s.

I now pick up the pieces of the strange place that was shattered apart and lived in out of desperation.  
What does the place I want to live in look like?
Why would I ever want to live there?
How will I know anyone or recognize anything?

Maybe in another life time, when we are both well, we can know one another.  
Maybe in another life time, when we are capable, we can laugh together.
Maybe in another life time, we will only see the light of God in one another.
Maybe in another life time, no tears will be shed for one another because we will be a part of something much bigger then us.
Something better then what this world had to offer.
Maybe Wisdom will be our best friend and walk between us.
Maybe Love will bless us.
By the Grace and Mercy of God, we will have a chance at another life time.

By Michelle Moon

10/10/09
Every Song I Ever Sang

I was ready for love, but love did not know me.
So I said to myself, maybe if I sing to love, Love will hear me, and Love will know that I exist.

So I sang to Love the song that was in my heart.  
A melody that only Love would recognize from the beginning of time, before the world was.
Love heard me, and knew me, and sent me a friend to have and to hold for the most beautiful time of my life.

You my friend are every song I have every sang.

By Michelle Moon

I Long For You

When I dream I go the sea.
It’s there that I look for you.
By the edge of the water is where I search for your love.

The rain gives up it’s mist and I remember you.
I look around in the day light, and I long for you.

The people by the sea speak of where you are and when you will be coming back.
I close my eyes and you are so close.  
I open my eyes and you are forever away.
When I dream I am encouraged by our love and your return.

When I awake I feel the vast emptiness of loves broken cord.
How I long for your love by the sea.
Where the rain mists the earth.
Where there is nothing but love and hope and peace between us.

You don’t know how much I love you London.

If I saw you I would know you.
If I looked into your eyes I would remember you.

How I long to be with you.  
Your inside of me and I have loved you from the beginning of time.

Your eyes are wide with knowing and seeing.
Seeing a set of events set into motion that you dread and long for all in the same breath.

I love you London.  I’ll do what I can.
You need to know that I will love you forever.  
Someday we will be as one.
The way it was meant to be.

12/05/09

Loosing a Dream

I have been hollowed out by your vicious hand.
The painful waves of darkness run through me like water.

The promise of your crashing waves gives me hope that you will save me from this pure destruction.

Deep called unto deep.  
The cry of my heart was to not be swallowed alive by this black void.
The measures to save me are unclear.
The hope is till there.

The beautiful dream of the ocean shore in June swirls as it fades into oblivion.  
It quietly leaves me far behind as it passes like death.
Like a leaf gently falling from a tree in September.

In the 1980’s

Sometimes I wish I could have taken your place my love.
You know I don’t want to live forever.

By Queensryche

10/27/09
Outside of Me

I close my eyes and I’m lost and alone.
I open my eyes and I’m found once again.

Like a stray dog running down the road I roam.
With a destination in mind, but not knowing what or where that destination is, I keep searching.

Always alone, always cold, always hungry for something that seems impossible and out of reach.
All the stories untold swirl like a winter snow storm in my mind.

Pain twirls and twists and does It’s dance of evil rampage in the headless body.
No one knows who starts it moving or when it will stop.
Tearing myself open to allow it to leave seems like the only option.

I hide my face from the Reaper in deep regret that the clock keeps ticking but the alarm won’t go off.

Love is everywhere. . . . Outside of me.

Promise of Beauty Untold

The walk through desolation to find beauty untold is forever puzzling.

They walked through the thistles and the obstacles on the dried cracked ground to find the highest peaks of the tallest mountains only to climb to the highest point and hang themselves from it.

Cherishing things that only thorns and thistles can produce.  Never knowing the promise of the other side.  The promise of beauty untold.

With one hand open and reaching and the other hand covering their face in shame, they run towards the steep mountains.  All the time missing the gateway because their eyes are on the highest peaks where doom is the only promise.

The bird of another world is the keeper of the path to the gateway, and he  knows all things but gives no information.  The bird of another world is not evil.  His only mission in life is to count those who walk through the gateway.  The mountains keep track of the losses.

Such is Life

I am the daughter of degradation.
A living symbol of what aught not be.

Fear not oh daughter of degradation.
Who you are and who you will be are two different things.
Two different people for two different purposes.

Love and Hate join hands and walk down the path of life together as friends.
The remorse of the wicked laid bare the land of the straight.

Like a broken arrow that flies off course, so are the dreams of the day.
The dreams of the day time.
The seemingly great abomination to the order of my life.
It’s like crying big tear drops into a bottomless bottle of clear, hard liquor.
People will drink it and never know the pain that has gone into it.
Such is life for all of us.

12/05/09

The Crumbling of Love

The color blue melts over the broken mountain and seeps deep into the earth.
The sands of time escape out of the broken hour glass and blow into the wind.

As my heart feels the pain of love no more.  
My eyes search for the waters.
My feet desperately search for the sand.
But the dream is gone.
The deep sadness and guilt of the inner turmoil spin around and tear at my soul.
The overwhelming pain of loss shatters my hope.

I am nothing but a drop in the ocean of madness that is life and existence.

Seeking something that is just a reflection once seen in the water, or a passing day dream.
Hoping for something that seems like an abomination to my purpose.
Paying the price for crimes that only my inherited cells are guilty of, yet I pay.

Things Hoped For - Not Yet Seen

I walk alone by the sea on the red planet.  
This is the only known place of true freedom.
The pain in your heart grips me and tears away at my dreams.
Sheltering my heart from your pain seems impossible.

My dreams fall through my hands like sand.
The people I’ve loved and the promises I’ve hoped for.
I see them sliding away.
They are falling out of my realm.  
I can’t hold them back.
I need to drag myself away from them kicking and screaming.
The season with them in this life is done.
Maybe in another life time when we are well things could be different.

Where is my faith in this time of trouble?
Where is my hope in all that I have hoped for, but not yet seen?
Who is my greatest enemy?
It’s not the wind.
Who is my enemy?
It’s nothing that falls from the sky.
It’s me.