if you'd like,
we could play pretend-
i'd be sylvia plath, if you'd
be my modern-day
cummings;

we can meet in
the coffee shop on
forty-eighth and first
and talk about suicide
over tall cups of coffee
that taste like your grandfather's cigars

and when neither of us are
up for walking
we'll go out to the park
and sit
on the bench by the pond
and hold hands

(i won't really feel your fingers by mine
until they become
sticky with sweat; we'll look at each other
and realize it doesn't mean a thing
to either
except for maybe the first attempt on both parts
to not feel so alone)

when the sun sets,
i'll cry
and not have an answer
when you ask for one.

i'm unraveling just as quickly
as your words,
and here we are
falling
again,
but this time,
not in the
right
way.

silence can be a beautiful thing
when it blankets the cold
of a kitchen floor;
(there is something lovely
about the lines of your hands
and the peculiar smile that
plays at your lips
when you can not voice
what you need to speak)

you whispered to me
        -it's amazing how much
        you can say
        without words-
in the quiet, i
could not help but tell you
i love you
a thousand times over.

O, foul computer stopping me
From writing e-mails happily.
You're young and yet you act so old
By freezing when you are not cold
Or turning bluish in the face;
Look for my letter; not a trace,
Your browser then will quickly die
Preventing me from ending my

They called you a dog
Its teeth were yellow
Rotting, cigarette and
Stink breath,

Gnarled skin around
The mouth
Laugh lines never existing
Only frowns fault.

Tar and wax and
Gunk, how else can
I say it-
- Your mouth, a treasure.

Riotous screaming
And bleak moans
Of let me go
I did, I held loosely

Canines with tartar
Can you imagine
The dentist?
He cried when he picked at

It rotted black now,
Gone beyond just
The absence of a
Smile forelorn,

Two surgeries and
Gauze and chunks
of gums, you
Wired yourself shut.

They yelled at you.
In the office, in
The school yard
Laughing, pointing

With a hand over your
Mouth you didn't
Bother to grin
Anymore, they did you in.

No operations could
Save that precious,
The innocence, you being
A victim.

not your body
not your skin
not the tips of your peachy fingers
not your passionate kiss
not your heart beat
not your breath hovering over my neck,
sending goosebumps and shivers down my spine
not your eyes sighting upon my beauty
or my loveliness or my seduction or my carefreeness
I want to feel you
move
inside
not inside of me
(though, that could be nice too)
inside of you
your own heart
your own echoing cage of ribs
that lock up even scarier skeletons
than the skeleton holding it all together
I want to feel you
without being with you
without holding you
without seeing you
without constantly thinking of you
without wanting you
I want to feel you
when I am miles away,
reading a book with a cup of tea in pyjamas
when you are in class and hear something brilliant
someone just said,
something that makes you stop and think of me
without resentment
without longing
without need
without hiding
something so simple, so clear and so pertinent
something that moves and removes the clutter
in you
I want to feel you love
yourself,
the world,
the trees, the scrapes on your heart’s knees
and me
with no want and no need

I'll *******,
If you want.
Cause I want it
Just as bad as you do.
But I also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
When you turn over in the middle of the night.
I want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
I want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
As you kiss me gently on the forehead.
And when I whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
Just nudge me with your knee
Or poke me with your elbow.