My brain buzzes and my fingers dance.
My eyes twitch and dart to make the world vibrate.
Too much coffee and my heart slows down to one,
long,
drawn-out
thuwump.
I feel the fibers in my muscles coil like a snake.
I'm all adrenaline and nothing to do.
No fight to be had,
no flight to be made,
no harm,
nor foul,
nor **** to be given.
Wires pulled taut,
I could strike out a tune,
make the bones dance
a crackhead jig.
Long breaths in staccato time,
high on the oh-2 painting my brain red.
I can feel my whiskers like an aura,
hovering over my skin,
every hair a bright,
electric
nerve.
Throb, pulse, twitch.
Writhe, dance, squirm.
Eyes-wide,
drink it in,
eat the lightwave whole.
Bits and bits and bits
stab,
pierce,
*****,
puncture,
penetrate,
explode
into image,
view,
vista,
site,
sight,
seen,
scene.
It's all the same.
All light
and heat
and motion,
no differentiation,
no line of demarcation,
no distinction,
no more,
no me.

One more cup,
and I'll be gone.

It's Autumn
and the World around me
has begun to Die
and the Air is scented sweet with Decay
and the crisp Snap of the breeze
boils my Blood

Life thrown into
sharp, Sensuous relief
surrounded on all Sides
by its inevitable Reflection

Breathe it in
hold it Inside
Kiss it
Eat it
**** it
let it Roll down your chin
get your hands Sticky with it

and Remember
that One day
It Will Be You

:   i have realized something

          :   i have realized the distilled essence of all of my desires

          :   is simply to be able to Love you

          :   or, more honestly, that you would be able to let me Love you


          :   and i have realized something else

          :   i have realized that this desire of mine

          :   to be free to Love you completely

          :   with neither regret nor remorse

          :   will never be fulfilled


          :   and so now i have a choice


          :   i can let go of this desire

          :   to save myself

          :   from constant rejection and disappointment

          :   i can accept that you will never let me Love you

          :   the way that i want to

          :   the way that i try to

          :   i can let go of this desire

          :   accept my fate

          :   and simply stop trying


          :   or


          :   i can take it

          :   i can endure

          :   and keep Loving you

          :   knowing full-well that Loving you means

          :   an oft-broken heart


          :   and i have realized one more thing

          :   one final thing

          :   that for a life spent Loving you

          :   You

          :   for that I can be

          :   for that I will be

          :   for that, I am


          :   Strong

cough **
I don't know which upsets me more
That I am saddened by my Self
And my life
Or the Guilt
Stemming from the Knowledge
That I have no Right
Nor Reason
To feel this way at all

I'm a King
dressed as a Beggar

Who will give me Alms?

Humans
are Drugs
who live
to get high
on each other
so
they can feel
as if
they are Living

There
is
no
Perfect
Drug

Is there any better feeling
anything more freeing
than standing naked
in a Summer rain?

It is a sensual kiss
from the Mother that bore you
and the Monster
that will devour you.

The air that caresses you
is the motion of the Earth
vibrating on your skin
the transfer of momentum
from the spinning ball of Blue
to the gaseous sphere encasing it
to your body
to You.
You're dancing on the roof
as we fly through the galaxy.

The water that now licks
your entire body
was once part
of a vast sea
wherein the first chemicals
melted together
locked into each other
and twitched
and copulated
and convulsed
and conspired
to move
and to Live.
The molecules that once held
the first Life
All Life
surrounding you
touching you everywhere
setting your skin on Fire.

It is your planet
Making Love to you.

For want of Union
What won't we do?
For mate
To conquer Flesh
To possess a Heart
What won't we do?
To climb that Tower
And leap to our Little Deaths
To Hunt
And Pray
And find Shelter in salt
What won't we do?

And Who
are We
to Ask?