I know that I'm getting sick again
Because every hour of silence makes me think that you don't love me
And it's getting harder to convince myself that you should

You don't seem to have noticed how walled up I am, but I'm sorry
And I am so glad that you didn't hear me crying while you slept
Because I am so in love with you and you shouldn't love me back
It's unhealthy for me to centre my life around you, and I know it
But I can't help that you're everything that I never thought I'd get

Where we're at now, we can only see each other on the weekends
And those few days are everything that I live for and want to maintain
But as the week goes on I lose myself to needing you and I fade so fast

I try to keep myself occupied during the day while I can
Working my skin to the bones and burning the breath from my lungs
But come night time, I sink and I sit in the dark with no sound
I just don't know how to get out of this slump yet again
I don't know how to believe that it's worth it in the end

Dragging people down is a specialty that I would like to break
As opposed to the constant chance of breaking you
Or the recurrence of the thought that a break up would be best

Jesus Christ, darling I am such an awful and worthless mess
Every day I see other men who could replace me and probably should
When it comes down to it, you deserve a world that I cannot give
And that's a horrible thought that makes me cry when the room is quiet
You are everywhere as my mind is all over the place and again I'm sorry

Every part of my very being needs you just so that I can live
But I won't guilt you to stay or create expectations that I don't have
Every part of my very being knows that you should leave and become your best

I know that I am getting sick again

And that if I listen to the virus in my head, I'll be ******

Nobody told me that sleeping alone would be so hard
If the room is completely quiet I sometimes hear your voice
Like from just the other night when you whispered I love you
Ever since you've said those words I've struggled on my own

I open all my windows to replace your breath upon my arms
Because if I fill the room with air then I can't tell it apart
If I roll over tonight I'll surely expect you to be there
But until that can be true again I'll just try to make do alone

I find a calmness in the way we don't need to do anything
We become our most intimate when we're inches apart
And surely the daylight seems to soften us up for the night
Because I miss the way you speak and make me feel

And God forgive you because your eyes could slay me
How dare they shine and glow in the dark while I look
It's like I've jumped head first into something new completely
I'm quite scared of the future but you keep my eyes open

I worried about reactions when I said how I felt about you
Yet I no longer care if people think we're crazy to say love
The way we've rushed into this almost surprised me at first
But now it's like the world moves around us instead of with us

Two adversaries, exactly the same
Both I let in
Inside my house
Disguised as friends
The first bid their time, sat inside
They stole the china
The photos
My keepsakes
And set fire to the floorboards
Before they left

The second came along just later
Carrying tools and aid
We rebuilt my home around me
And then we sat inside
They smiled each day
And shook my hand freely
But one night they stole
Not a possession
But into my home at night
And ran their blade across my neck