The cards were dealt.
Swiftly.
A world ripped apart.
It's just me.
I close my eyes.
She's all I see.
In my minds eye,
she's still with me.
Heartbreak.
Deep, shattering, soul splitting sorrow.
Here today.
Gone tomorrow.

I wander through life
like an arrow shot from a god's bow.
Penetrating the dark,
stealing the night away.
Like a thief.
This cold brilliance is my mind.
This unfettered heart is my soul.

Awake, to the tragedy outside my door.
Pained, hungry, hopeless hearts surround me.
All I have to offer is my voice.
My words.
In a futile hopefulness.
Wishing it all away.

Do you see the tears raining down like a summers storm?
The flood of sorrow that surrounds these souls..?

Are you blind?

wanting
waiting
my patience is fading
deceiving
achieving
my every desire
behind you
inside you
i set you on fire
i'm sweating
you're bleeding
this all was misleading.

The blackness of night
swallows me whole.
dark and empty,
Just like my soul.
Moonless skies
leave unseeing eyes...
your cold hands are gripping me.
***** and dark,
your earthly smell.
Fingers dug deep,
come to drag me to hell.
Twisting and turning,
my flesh begins burning.
I open my mouth to scream..
Cry out in pain,
every night is the same.
Wake up.
It's only a dream.

Shadows on my weary head.
Dreams are gone,
Long since dead.
Nighttime brings the the shadow stronger,
an empty bed,
an unfed hunger.
Ten months time has come and gone.
But dreams of you still come along.

so many faces,
so many names....
so many worries,
living this way.
so many hopes..
so many dreams..
so many changes,
but its all still the same.
so many questions..
with answers that bring pain.
so many first times.
i'll have to start again.

can I makes things different?
old habits hard to break.
seems I just keep makin..
all the same mistakes.

so many pieces
to pick up and replace.
so many memories.
every time I see your face.

so many excuses..
told in every way.
so many chances..
now you've gone away.

so can I make things different?
once i've learned from my mistakes.
does it even matter?
its a chance i'll have to take.

just a chance i'll have to take.
just a chance i'll have to take.

you knew what I was from the start.
your words burn thru my heart,
somethings better left untold..
pardon my being so bold..
but how can you be so cold..?

I remember better days..
before you went away,
begged you to stay...
you'd only have your way..

so if I may be so bold,
the speed things got so old..
how can you be so cold..?

yes there were problems..
and yes there were flaws..
and sure there was drama..
we even put things on pause..

but after things went on hold..
and the love had been sold..
how can you be so cold..?

i've shed my last tear..
been one hell of a year..
cried so many nights..
fought so many fights...

after all is said and done..
and two have become one..
all thats left to unfold..
you were something to behold..
so how can you be so cold..?

your lies........ don't disguise.
the truth bleeds thru.....
should've never trusted you.

you try to hide..... what i've always known.
no need for truth..
actions have been shown.

you act, as if i'm blind..
your truth..........
was easy to find.

betrayal..
betrayal..
you acted like my friend.
betrayal..
betrayal..
you'll get yours in the end.

all...these... excuses....
they don't mean a thing....

so crush me, break me, don't mistake me, for your ******* fool.
leave me, deceive me, now there are no rules.

you act, as if i'm blind..
you act, as if i'm blind..

betrayal..
betrayal..
didnt think that we would end.
betrayal.. betrayal..
how long did you pretend?

I know one thing is true..
I should have never trusted you..
should have never trusted you..
should've known just what you'd do.

I got down on my knees
and asked the lord above.
help me this one time.
let me live without her love.

it's been so long
since we could agree
on anything other,
than not liking me.

beaten down.
feeling low.
all my pain,
starts to show.

and I can't get down any lower.
you kept me in fear.
can't get down any lower,
it's all crystal clear.

i've found the bottom of the bottle,
my foots on the throttle..
and theres headlights in my eyes.

in the bottom of that bottle,
push'n harder on the throttle,
and theres no way to disguise...

my pain...
my pain...
my pain...

cause I cant get down any lower..
put you way up on high...
cant get down any lower
anything to get by...

you
dont
know
how
I
hurt.

theres no telling what you'd find
if you crawled thru my mind
demons screaming
burned and bleeding

phantoms haunt me
beat me down
fragile darkness
all around

fear to fail
all the time
abuse has left
but still I'm blind

but whatchagonna do
which way d0 I go
nothing seems to work
stuck on a low.

stand back up.
back on your feet.
suffered the losses.
walk past the defeat.

a million demons..
crawl thru my head.
lingering souls,
of memories undead.

shake it off.
don't waste time..
take yourself back.
regrowing spine.

get past the sadness.
get over the rage.
its a re-birth..
a coming of age.