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Sep 2011 · 1.1k
ODE To P.B.
Michael Erdman Sep 2011
WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY
I USED TO ASK MY “MUDDA”
DON’T GIVE ME PEAS OR BROCOLLI
JUST BRING ME PEANUT BUTTA

I’D DIP MY FINGER IN THE JAR
AND SCOOP IT IN MY MOUTH
THEN WAIT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO,
FOR IT TO SLIDE DOWN SOUTH

I USEO TO EAT THE KIND CALLED “SMOOTH”
BUT QUICKLY SWITCHED TO "CHUNKY"
I LIKED THE WAY IT TASTED
SORTA GRITTY, KINDA FUNKY

SKIPPY, JIFF AND PETER PAN
WHERE BRANDS I LIKED THE BEST
I’D OFTEN LINE UP ALL THREE JARS
AND HAVE A TASTE TEST-FEST

BUT CHOOSING BRANDS WAS EASY
FOR MY MOM WHO WAS SO WISE
SHE’D EYE EACH ONE SO CAREFULLY
THEN BUY THE LOWEST “PRICE”

YEA, WITH SOME JAM.. ON WONDERBREAD
OH WHAT A DELICIOUS TREAT!
I REMEMBER ALL THE GOOEY GOODNESS
HOW MUCH FUN IT WAS TO EAT

BUT NOW I’VE GIVEN UP THAT SNACK
MY CHILDHOOD TASTES I’VE TRADED
I’M OLDER AND MY PALATE
HAS BECOME SOPHISTICATED

I NOW EAT FOOD THAT’S LOW IN SALT
AND SATURATED FAT
BUT WHEN I WANT TO CHEAT A BIT?...

“HEY SKIPPY, WHERE YOU AT”!!!!
written back in 1990 as a funny little diddy about food
Sep 2011 · 765
Age
Michael Erdman Sep 2011
Age
I don’t know when it happened
I never saw it coming,

taught tanned skin replaced by soft, saggy folds
thick dark hair given over to salt and pepper straw
bones that could withstand concrete now barely keep me standing

I don’t know when it happened and I never saw it coming
a sharp mind with impeccable memory
now clouded in confusion and daily medications
the chest of hair proud like a lion now scarred from surgery
strong feet that marched and danced and played
now calloused, hard and smelly
Hands that threw, and gripped and punched
can hardly open a jar without assistance

I don’t know when it happened
I never saw it coming
and the eyes like an eagle that could spot obstacles in the distance
now strain to read the paper or recognize a familiar face

Ah but the voice remains
It sings and prays and laughs still and has power with my children
it can still softly supply the sexuality of my intent
and argue politics of the insane and misinformed
it still speaks of hope and joy and the future
I don’t know when it happened and I never saw it coming.
I grew old in an instant

Michael Erdman  
May, 2011

— The End —