I love you..
Even though sometimes it don't seem like I do..
You got to know it's true..
I wouldn't be in this world if it wasn't for you...
You are my mom...
I came out of you...
I am a part of you...
I love every part of you...
So I'm afraid to part from you...
Maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle...
But it seems to me that God has enough angels...
So somehow I can't comprehend how he feels that he need you...
More than we need you...
And mom I feel sad to say this but I need you...
I can't even imagine the possibility of life without you...

Blade to wrist
Gun to my lips
This is not a game
So dont consider it a joke
Rope around my neck
Would it be ironic if i choke

My mom told me Neva start
What you can't finish
So if i pop one pill
Should i not stop till the whole bottle is deplinished

And I just hope that tylenol doesnt False advertise
cause im really just looking for a rapid release

**** IT

.:i I drop to my knees i:.
.:i And begin to pray i:.

"Lord thank you for the day,

But now i must ask that you tell the guards
at the gates to make way
I'm coming home, prepare a room
i feel like this world is crowded with fake people
and for me there is no longer room.
Im not saying i hate people
But I feel I tried my best at it LORD
and i feel as if now my home resides with you
Im just hoping that everything is true.
You know the gold pave roads
My own Acres
My own Mansion
I want to have it Eternaly with you
But lord im smart and i know there is nothing as half truth
so if i take my own life ill never get to meet you
Than I guess it is all worth the trouble
Im just waiting for the day that i get to greet you"
Amen

The children of the Ghetto
Always in the news
They living in the ghetto
But didn't get to choose
Now they got nothing to lose
And everything to prove
So many people look down
On the children in the ghetto
But if only they knew
The trouble they go threw
But they living their cozy little life
In a suburban town where the crimes are few
But see the children of the ghetto
Didn't get to choose
The children of the ghetto
have nothing to lose
Born at the bottom
So it's easy to see why they feel defeat
Some didn't get to eat
The only escape they have is sleep
The children of the ghetto
Always in the news
Where they only portrayed negatively
So they got everything to prove
Because one can only wonder how the world could be so cruel
The children of the ghetto have creativity
Because in their minds they turned the ghetto into a castle
The children of the ghetto have to be strong
So they are ready for battle
The children of the ghetto
Didn't get to choose
They know what defeat feels like
But they don't like to lose
The children of the ghetto
Don't want your pity
No...
They just going to take over your city
The ones that are always in the news
That has nothing to lose
And everything to prove
They going to take over your city
You can only hold people in oppression for so long
But no matter how much you hold them down
They'll rise up
So rise up children of the Ghetto
Because you have everything to prove...

Dear Dad;
I guess the child support checks just wasn't enough
See the money was good but it wasn't your love
I tried to do good but my will wasn't enough
Now I'm writing you this from this jail cell
Living the rest of my life in this caged hell
Now listen up dad to the story I tell
See it all started when I was 16 years old
Mom couldn't feed me so I was left in the cold
I bet it's getting interesting as the story get told
I was living my life with no rules
All the ****** I kicked it with were all fools
And I've been kick out of so many different high schools
Times were hard I had no place to sleep
I even stood on a bridge and was ready to leap
But I been through too much I didnt have time to weep
The same day a Blood asked me if I was down for the cause
I didn't even think... No second of pause
Cause from the looks of it they had it all
So from than on it became blood or bleed
And they became my family providing my every need
And this path of life is where no father leads
So I was out on the block selling and stealing
I got robbed myself... I got robbed of my feelings
Lil Wayne Life style because my house had no ceiling
See this next part I know you really going to like
It's about the only thing we did alike
I done ****** so many girls I might have ten lil Mikes'
I know that's bad but it could of been worse
But now they share my fate... I shared the curse
I'm just glad I'm alive and not in a hurse
But I guess I been delaying the story
Im in jail now I don't ask you to worry
Because really you cant do **** for me
I'm not saying it's your fault
But a dad suppose to be there for his son.. At least that's what I thought
I did good without you at least still I got caught
See it was just the usual gig
Go in the crib steal all the valuables... just nothing big...
But everything went wrong and this is what I did
See unlike the other spots here someone was home
I walked in the room and there he was with 911 on the phone
So I acted with out thinking and put two bullets in his dome
Even though I was strapped it was never meant to be used
But what could I do my adrenaline and reactions became fused
So there was this body and there was me left confused
Now his life was gone and I was the one to blame
I knew my guilt so I waited till the police came
Dad this is my story on you I place no blame
So I went in front of the 12 and they gave me life
Isn't that funny Thats the same punishment you gave me Right?
So I had to sit there as his wife glare pierced my heart sharper than a butcher knife
And as I pulled the trigger I didn't think of his kid
Now he got to grow up without a dad just like I did
All this was my doing this is what I did
Once my mom told me I was just like you, I didn't believe her
But now as I end this letter, I'm a Believer.
Love Always, Your Child _ Support Check Receiver

When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream. -John Lennon

I'm drowning under stress
Overtaken by tears
I've tried my best
Through out the years
If life is a test
I failed, I fear
All my many tries
Problems I juggled
Along with truth and lies
And though I struggled
I made it to this point alive
Being the man that I am
I did what I had to
So I swam and I swam
But when you in the middle of the ocean,
There is nowhere to swim to...
So I drowned

What do you want to hear???

It remains to stay clear…

I can go back 100’s of years…

Different people…

Different times…

Different Obstacles they had to climb…

They connected and made groups and formed bonds..

You can easily tell the difference by the decade…

They appear in different forms but they all were followers….

So me I’m careful of all my bonds…

I wonder how history will remember me…

The one that stood out…

Or the one that was easily forgot about…

See lil ol’ forgot about me…

Didn’t lose my soul in a money bag…

I lost my mind in a book…

So maybe that’s why I’m overlooked…

But I’m undervalued…

Whats the price of education…

A leg and a arm..

And a promise to do no harm..

What you going to do with all that money???

And all them guns???

When you can barely hit your target instead…

You hit a little kid, who was too tired from having fun…

So she was unable to run…

And so now she lay dead..

So now them diamonds in your ear…

Them rims on your car…

Them so called friends that are no longer here…

Were they really worth it???

Who am I talking to???

Well it depends on Who’s listening…

The “Truth” they dont want to hear…

Well I’m a poet so I’m going to take you there…

Everybody got flowers and dressed in all black…

To grieve for a soul that they wish they could have back…

Tears from her mother…

Angry shouts from her father…

You want to give your condolences…

But don’t bother…

Because nothing you can say will bring their little angel back…

Ignorance is Bliss…

I cant tell you where you came from..

But I can tell you where you going..

Heaven or Hell…

As the bible tells…

Read and You’ll know..

Only listen and you might not hear…

Ask the Lord question…

And when HE knows you are ready…

He’ll answer…

Question is will you accept his answer???

This isn’t what you want to hear..

But this is what you need to hear..

So will any of yall shed a tear 4 the angel that is no longer here??

Or do the Devil have control over your ears???

Every single day
I walk these
City streets
I'm surrounded by demons
Dressed in overpriced suits
Or raggedly clothes
See they don't confuse me
I see what they don't see
But I don't judge
I just let them walk on by
I don't budge
Than they get to talking
With their slithery tongues
These the people that got Jerry Sprung
The same ones that got old Willie hung
Same ones that had all the Jews in a ditch
Same ones that nailed Christ to the cross
Now ain't that a *****
See the devil is a liar
And everyone soul is for hire
So even if you don't
I see these demons hiding
In normal day attire
I don't need to see
The mark of the beast
I look in the mirror
And I see me
Yet I also see
The man I'm afraid to be...

I understand you say have faith...
But look at all the obstacles that are thrown in my way...
Sometime I get confuse on if I'm going the right way...
I need you to take my hand and lead...
Because it seems the things I tend to follow...
Only lead me to sorrow...
To a place where I'm afraid of tomorrow...
I'm asking you for some more time...
Even though for me I know there's none to borrow...
Because the world can easily end tomorrow...
Lord I'm lost...
And it seems I been here forever...
If you here with me..
Can you help me...
Because I couldn't possibly do this alone...
Do you feel me...
Do you see me...
Of course you do...
Because you love me...

Fire burning bright
Surrounded by the darkness
Somehow I found the light
Trying to separate fake from real
I learned some wounds don't heal
I made too many mistakes
I know now many things that look real
Turnout to be fake
I didn't have patience for faith
I heard too many people got lost along the way
I'm too busy to be busy
They say work to hard and the stress might **** me
That's the risk you take for being too dedicated
A quick way to have yourself self medicated
But you get nowhere in life by being lazy
I would get no further if,
I depended on the chances people gave me
So depending on myself
Some chances I got to take
I'm not perfect so of course I'll make mistakes
I just refuse to settle for less
Or get lost along the way
But it's hard to find the way
When you surrounded by the darkness
Every time I find joy it seem to always rain
Every time I gget hurt,
I get left a scar
Some scars never heal
Even through the pain I still smile
The fact remains that I'm still alive
So long as I have another breath
I can take another step
Long as I'm moving forward
I'm never looking back
Long as God got my back
I'm never turning back
Unless it's back to the scripture....

Psalm 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

When I was in the 6th grade
My mom bought me a shirt
On it, It said **** The World
So I wore it to school
All my friends thought it was cool
The principle didn't
He made me wear my gym shirt over it
So that the one my mom got me was hidden
Back than I didn't know of the first amendment
Didn't understand the freedom of speech
Yet some how I still felt like,
A wrong was done to me
So I asked my principal what was so wrong with my shirt,
That he came to this decision
Did I not have the right to form my own opinion
Was the word "****" to ******
Is the world not ******
He simply replied,
"I simply can't have my students
wearing clothes with profanity on it.
Check your hand book
It's a whole page on it.
Now since you usually don't get in trouble,
I'll just give you detention
And call your mom."
Well detention only meant to me
That I wouldn't get to watch my favorite cartoon
Yet I was too young that I was getting penalized
For not fitting into societies platoon
But I was kind of worried about
What my mom would say
When I got home she asked
"How was your day"...
I told her my shirt said it all
She said good
Best 5 dollars I ever spent...

Her walls go higher than any ceiling
To build them so high she paid a killing
She gave up her soul
Her heart... Her whole
Being
See she was seeing
Every man as being one
The one that did her wrong
And now shes contempt with being alone

Her walls arn't made of bricks
Because those need to be fixed
Hers are made of blood and tears
From all the pain that she felt for years
So how do you tear them walls down
When theres no foundation and no ground
Maybe it's simple
First you got to understand her mental
She needs a friend not a lover
Not for you to kiss her but to hold her
Tell her that you love her till she believe you
Her walls will only fall if u put in the time
Only if you come true and quit all the lien
Only than will her walss fall
Mentaly and Physically she'll give you her all

Last night I had a dream about a poem..
I woke up and forgot it...
But it was only meant to inspire me to write about it...
You know deep thoughts and dreams....
The ones we never share....
The world would be a better place if ya'll think like I do...
But it seems like ya'll don't even care....
Ya'll just want to complain about how this life isn't fair...
While all I want to do is write all my thoughts on a page and share...
Hoping I make you see what I see...
If life has a set path...
I'm just trying to figure out my destiny...
Trying to turn my pains into pleasure...
My tears into treasure...
So I dreamed about a poem...
I think that poem was about Peace...
Serenity...
& Tranquility...
But that dream was out of reach....
It's seems it was right up there with Luther's...
When they killed him the marchers became looters...
Which tells me it's dangerous to dream...
But if I didn't dream....
I'd be stuck in this world...
Where not God but the devil is king...

Sometimes I wonder if I got the chance,
What would I say to her???

See Love is a tricky equation
You need the 2 right people
At the the right place
All at the precise right time
And than you still need a little luck
****, It seems like I got no luck...

It would be so much easier finding the one
If the wrong one's stop claiming to be the right one
The right one need to step up and be the one
The one to show me the true meaning of love
The one to give me everything I'm deserving of
The one to love me when it hurt
The one to know when Im sad what works...
To make me smile
The one to be the mother of my child...
See If I had luck,
She would be with me right here
I would whisper in her ear
About things that would last for eternity
The room temperature would rise,
As the connection of two souls
Take toll
We'll embark on a dark road without fears
Concious of future tears
But still holding each other dear
Will we know it at first glance???
I don't know,
I just hope we get the chance
But if we do what would I say to her???

Some times it hurts
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

My Id is in a constant struggle with my ego
To be the super hero
My super ego
Tries to suppress my Id
But if my Id emerges
From my deepest thoughts
I'm lost without...
Words...
To describe the carnage that would ensue
I'm talking slit wrist
To the random-est,
Of people only to fulfill my inconspicuous bliss
I'm talking shooting nukes just for fun
Armageddon... Wouldn't that be fun
I'm talking gun towards brother
Knife against mother
And you dread your sleep
Cause that's when the snakes come to eat
And this all happened inside my head

Sometimes it hurt
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

Also There I hide my soul
In a empty hole
All by it lonesome
No visitors allowed
But somehow she kidnapped my soul
And she wanted my heart for the ransom
She was bad too... And than some
Angel in my eyes
But a demon in disguise
Tempted me to do all the wrong things
Telling me it would be alright
See I was struggling through the days
Barely making it through the nights
She promised to show me the light
So as I see the gold flicker
She said this can be your life
And I told her I'll take it
Because the money and the fame
seems to make everything alright
But wait can you also promise Love
Can you promise me a girl that's
going to be there just because
She down for me
One that if I ever leave
will hold it down for me
I'm talking one that will
go to town for me
Cause that's all I really need
Can you promised me a good seed
To provide my wants and needs
So now I'm contemplating the price for my soul
All in my head

Some times it hurt
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

I feel my life slipping away
As my soul enter this page
My path is unclear
Death could be near
Ignorance of death
Is bad for your health
But so Is car crashes
And the newest fashion
People dying over Concords
Same time a new life was born
Cut the umbilical cord....

And along with it cut all the *******
Give me all the positive
And take away all the negative
Make a newer picture
Get a different mind frame...

Now im spitting spoken word on a street called Concord
And everybody saying Mikey B please do an encore
So Live life how you want to live it
I'm living the life of a poet
So let me live it...

This is from the soul...
Not written down...
Not even thought about...
Hopefully God guides my pen...
If not than the devil may accept me in...
My life is cursed...
Dreams is all I have...
My life is a nightmare...
If not why am I drowning under these tears...
Pool full of liquor...
Cloud full of *****...
What is my escape...
From reality...
From society...
From me...
How do I escape...
What did I do wrong to get here...
Is this what I deserve...
To always fail...
To always give in...
To always be wrong...
Jumping through hoops to please who...
Obviously not you...
My escape is this pen...
My escape is this paper...
My escape is my poetry...

You are my Masterpiece
After you all other inspiration decease
Like the Mona Lisa to Da Vinci
Or the Harmonie Bleue to Matisse
A beautiful work of art
Your imperfections is your best part
I wish to be your Michelangelo
You belong in the heaven I can feel the angels' woe
For them I shed a tear
But losing you is my greatest fear
I'm everything with you... Noting without you
Your so rare that just the mentioning of your name is taboo
Girl you're more valuable than a Picasso
You deserve the best so I place you in my castle
And of my heart you are the main piece
So I guess thats why I call you my "Master"Piece...

You are my Masterpiece
After you all other inspiration decease
Like the Mona Lisa to Da Vinci
Or the Harmonie Bleue to Matisse
A beautiful work of art
Your perfection is your best part
Name is Michael but I aspire to be your  Michelangelo
You're missed in Heaven I can feel the other angels woe
For them i shed a tear
But losing you is my greatest fear
Im every thing with you nothing without you
So valuable that just the mentioning of your name is a taboo
Girl you're more valuable than a Picasso
You deserve the best, so I hang you in my castle
Of my heart, You is the main piece
So I guess that's why I call you my MasterPiece

Tears flow from my mothers' eyes...
She's afraid she's going to die...
So she screaming to the Lord...
Why???

Why her Lord???
This made me afraid...
Not because I thought she would die...
But because she's asking you why...
I wonder in my mind is she losing her faith???
Is the pain so much that you can't take it away???
She calls on your name...
Jesus!!!
Jesus!!!
Jesus!!!

It seemed like nothing I do would help...
Because I know she need you...
Lord I'm not strong enough to be you...
I'm not close to being wise enough, nor true...
Thank you Jesus...
Thank you Jesus...
Thank you Jesus...

What is this???
She's screaming out, Thank you...
As though the pain no longer exist...
But I can still hear the pain from the quiver in her lips...
I see it in the tears that fall down the same lips...
I realize that she relied on her faith...
And minutes later when...
I no longer heard the screams...
No longer able to see the tears...
I realized the Lord's work was done here...
So just in case she didn't thank you enough...
Thank you Jesus...

As I stand her on my bended knee...
Delivering my soul to another human being...
Forcibly...
See, she already has a part...
She's in possession of my heart..
So I must question her motives...
If I gave her my soul what would she do with it???
Will she cherish it just for a moment and be through with it???
Than I begin questioning myself...
Should I go through with it???


She stand there as thoughts go through her head...
Why is this man on his knee???
Is he pledging his love to me???
Should I take his name and give him my heart...
Will he cherish it and never part???
Or will he hold it only for a moment and be through with it???
Questioning my motives...
Than Questioning herself...
Should she go through with it???

See I feel as if the timing is right...
Will you marry me???
Right here, Tonight???

Wow...
Shocked...
Amazed...
Astonished....
She sits there....
With a blank stare...
This the moment she dreamed of...
But is this the man that she dreamed of???
See she than been in love before...
But every man let her down that she loved before....
So she dont know if she ready for this level of commitment...
But if she missed this chance she might forever live a life of resentment...
In her mind it becomes crowded...
She has too much to think about...
But in a matter of seconds her path becomes clear...
Her new life begins here....

Yes, Yes, Yes....
Tear....

I sit there in silence as if I didn't hear...
Begin to smile as realization set in and I lose all fear...
It seems as if God sent me here...
Only to find you...
Now that I found you...
I feel as if my life is complete...
So in a way of words what I'm trying to say is that,
You complete me...

Tears running down her cheeks but on her face is a smile...
Happiness like this only come once in awhile...
The she spoke....
Before I met you I was all alone...
I was contempt with being alone...
Not until I met you did I truly feel lonely when ever I was alone...
I feel as if we was meant for each other...
I feel as if God made you just to be my lover...
I feel like every time we touch something magical happens...

Well this isn't magic girl this is God's grace...
Through him we was able to come to this sacred place...
Where only we exist...
In front of us is an abyss...
Of darkness,
So neither one of us know what we about to go through...
But I know I'll be able to handle it as long as I got you...

After that point no more words were exchanged...
The next few hours become explicit...
Who ever would of guess love like this existed...

If you just want to be love...
Why dont you love me????
If you just want to be felt....
Why dont you hug me???
See wouldnt it be lovely....
If "ME" and "YOU" could be in a relationSHIP...
And not me you her and him and them....
Cause that would be just a crowded Ship....
See I want our love to be big.... Gigantic....
But I dont want it to sink.... Ummmm.... Titantic....
So dont bring the ******* aboard....
Just bring your Love and your Trust
And your pain if you must....
Me and you can heal together....
As we build together....
And What we build no one can destroy.....
My momma always told me to watch out for those Helens of Troy...
Cause the Beautiful ones in the end will only hurt you....
But momma Beauty's just a virtue....
And your beauty is so true....
You can be my honest mistake....
Cause if I'm wrong ill give you that chance...
See I was lost at first glance...
And Im in Love with your stance....
Your body speaking to me girl...
And it's getting to me....

Why do I write?
Not just to tell my story
But to to tell her story
His story
And our history
This is how we pass it down
We must realize our roots and grow
The great late Langston Hughs
Said his hands was on the the plow
And that plow was plowing freedom
Well, if that plow headed to freedom
I'm on that plow too
So I sit down and write
Planting seeds
For the youth
Hoping that the flowers from my garden bloom
I nourish their minds
Giving them the ability to plant roots
Hoping they become strong
To become a forest
To nourish the new youth that comes along
Than all of us can come together and sing along
To some old ***** Spiritual

"Free at last, free at last
I thank God I'm free at last
Free at last, free at last
I thank God I'm free at last"

When you think of her
You think of her smile
She than had the same smile
Since she was a little child
You can ask her uncle, her aunty,
Even the lady who claims the last time she seen her
That should could barely crawl
They claim she was a happy baby
Instead of crying she would laugh when she'd fall
And ever since than she kept the same smile
The same smile she had since she was a little child

I met her when I was eight
She was my play mate
We use to play on the swings
Try to swing over the top
imagining we had wings
We use to play house,
I was Daddy
And She was Mommy
I would go to work,
When I got home she would console me
Her lil sister was only five
She was our daughter
All this was only imagination
But she wouldn't believe that
Even if you told her
Back than she would always smile
The same smile she had since she was a little child

See we was only eight
But ever since than,
I always dreamed about our fate
We was only 12 when I asked her to our first dance
I was scared to ask her of course
But I just couldn't miss the chance
To my surprise she said yes
And also blessed, me with her smile
The same smile she had since she was a little child

That night as I held her tight
I wanted to kiss her
But I didn't know if it would be alright
After the dance we walked home together
I was contemplating a kiss
So it seem like we walked forever
You can never understand,
How confused I was when we got there
She looked at me and said,
We gone be "Best Friends FOREVER"
And of course she added a smile
The same smile she had since she was a little child

So I couldn't get mad
I know it was wrong
But I actually was glad...
When her boyfriend dumped her
Right before prom
Because I always imagined
Us two being Prom King and Queen
And now that he ****** up
It could be a real thing
So when I seen her on the stairs crying
I wiped away her tears
And let her know that I was there for her
So I walked her home
So she wouldn't feel alone
As we walked we talked
And she told me I was her best friend
I told her that was cool,
But I think, Our friendship should end here
So something else could begin
Than she just smiled
The same smile she had since she was a little child

I was surprised when she said
"I was waiting for you to say something"
A month later she won prom Queen
And I won Prom King
As we stood in front of every body
She smiled
The same smile she had since she was a little child

We both graduated and went to the same college
I pledged Kappa, Her A.K.A.
We always got complimented on how good of a couple we was
Whole time we was only a good couple because we had love
As she walked across the stage
They cheered and serenade
She just smiled because she had reached the goal that she had made
The same smile she had since she was a little child

2 years later we were already married
And my baby she carried
When she told me the news that it was a girl
For a short instance I was a little let down
Because I wanted a boy
But than I was over joyed
She just sat there smiling
The same smile she had since she was a little child

There were problems with the delivery
Which left me standing in front of you all today
So when you look at her for the last time
If nothing else remember her smile
The same smile that I now see on the face of my little child...

Lately she ant been acting right
Acting like she don't want to write
It's frustrating me
Because I need her to cry
The tears I'm unable to cry
I need her to tell the truth
When I'm only able to lie
Need her to be my self expression
So I can let everything free
That I hold deep inside
See she is suppose to be the one
That's always down to ride
Always by my side
Even on the lonely nights
That I spend at home
Sipping alone
She suppose to tag along
But lately she just ant been acting right

She suppose to be the one,
That helps me bleed out
until the pain cease to stop
The one to write stories with
When we hear the rain drops
And the one to calm me down
When I'm in that zone
Like I want to **** someone
But lately she ant been acting right

I mean I pour everything into her
And she gives me nothing
No story, No plot, Dot... Dot... Dot...

Which left me wandering
Maybe she been cheating on me,
With another poet
Because lately she ant been acting right...

She committed suicide in her poetry...

She
Wrote
About
Slit
Wrist,
And
Broken
Lips
She committed suicide in her poetry...

She
Fell
In
Love
With
A
Simile,
Metaphorically
She committed suicide in her poetry...

I
Mean
She
Actually
Wrote,
That
She
Was
Going
To
Hang
Herself
From
A
Rope
She committed suicide in her poetry...

She
Wanted
To
Be
Freed,
So
She
Chose
To
Let
Her
Pen
Bleed
She committed suicide in her poetry...

She
Had
Only
One
Life
To
Turn
In,
But
She
Gave
It
Up
Again
And
Again
She committed suicide in her poetry...

When
She
Felt
Least
In
The
World,
And
Felt
It
Should
No
Longer
Twirl
She committed suicide in her poetry...

When
She
Got
Tired
Of
Stressing,
After
Tears
Would
No
Longer
Fall,
After
So
Many
Failed
Lessons,
When
She
Felt
Neglected
Of
Blessings
She committed suicide in her poetry...

She's an escape
To say the least

When I'm lost
Surrounded by demons
For her attention I be feigning
She so lost in her own thoughts
That she didn't notice me there
I guess she was unaware
Because she put that little sign on the door
That read...
"Boys Beware"....
She already than caught on to game
Or just got tired of hearing the same
So maybe that's why I stuck up in here
To spit some poetry in her ear
Not just things she want to hear
But words to make everything crystal clear

I let her know my mind wonders about her
When I no longer want to think about the pain
From my past relations
She is my medication
She is my motivation
She is my oxygen
She is my best friend
She is my escape....

See the thing with growing up with a single mother
I had to learn how to be a man by her and my older brother
But if I didn't have that strong woman
I don't know where I would be
Honestly,
She the one who pushed me to be me
The me that I wanted to be
Telling me I can do whatever
I dreamed
Yet still punishing me
A woman like that is an astonishing thing
Something you don't find often
But I got her
And I know she's a blessing
Because everybody don't have
A mother who cares
And a mother whose there
Even when I had nothing
Not even for my stomach
I had my mother
And she had more love for me
Than I could stomach
More advice than I could bother to hear
She could make any pain disappear
But she also got a side
That you never want to to hear
But she's my mom
So I always hold her near....

Sometimes I go through my notebook like...
What is this???
Is this poetry???
Did I write this???
See when I write I go to a place where only I exist
Because only I can see through my eyes
So only I can see the lies they tell
They want to see friends
But I can only see people that wish I fail
You can never manipulate eyes
By telling lies
So I only believe what I see
Never what I hear
But sometimes the things I hold near
Turn out to be lies
Sometimes my eyes drop tears
But I don't know why...

Some times it hurts
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

My Id is in a constant struggle with my ego
To be the super hero
My super ego
Tries to suppress my Id
But if my Id emerges
From my deepest thoughts
I'm lost without...
Words...
To describe the carnage that would ensue
I'm talking slit wrist
To the random-est,
Of people only to fulfill my inconspicuous bliss
I'm talking shooting nukes just for fun
Armageddon... Wouldn't that be fun
I'm talking gun towards brother
Knife against mother
And you dread your sleep
Cause that's when the snakes come to eat
And this all happened inside my head

Sometimes it hurt
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

Also There I hide my soul
In a empty hole
All by it lonesome
No visitors allowed
But somehow she kidnapped my soul
And she wanted my heart for the ransom
She was bad too... And than some
Angel in my eyes
But a demon in disguise
Tempted me to do all the wrong things
Telling me it would be alright
See I was struggling through the days
Barely making it through the nights
She promised to show me the light
So as I see the gold flicker
She said this can be your life
And I told her I'll take it
Because the money and the fame
seems to make everything alright
But wait can you also promise Love
Can you promise me a girl that's
going to be there just because
She down for me
One that if I ever leave
will hold it down for me
I'm talking one that will
go to town for me
Cause that's all I really need
Can you promised me a good seed
To provide my wants and needs
So now I'm contemplating the price for my soul
All in my head

Some times it hurt
The pain is inside
Where my demons hide

I'm a poet
So I let these words flow
Hoping they get to you
Helping you get through
What ever you going through
If not
Then least helping me relieve some stress
I'm just trying to remember that I'm blessed
Another day another dollar
No
Another day another blessing
Yes
I rather count the many ways that I'm blessed
To ease stress
This woman stands in front of me
Attempting to undress
Jezebel
See the Devil knows that a woman weakness
lies with lies
And some times within guys
But a man weakness lies
In between a woman thighs
Sweet Juices + Onion ***** = Watery Eyes
See eve was deceived
But Adam was tempted by Eve
And that is how sin became or creed...

It is thanks to God
My heavenly father
That everything exist
The good and the bad
The angels and the fallen
I'm just searching for my calling
To be the man that he wants me to be
So I open my eyes
I see what he wants me to see
A reflection of me
So I reflect on my options
Asking am I the best me
That I could possibly be
Or can I be a better me
Can I love???
When there is only hate there
Can I trust???
When I'm in a relationship that's not fair
Where can you find someone who would give their life
For your mistakes
So that you wouldn't have to pay
And when you came to that place
What would you say???
"Thank you"
Of course that's the obvious answer...

"The doctors said,
They found a mass in my stomach.
It could be cancer..."

The doctors said,
They found a mass in her stomach.
It could be cancer...

This scenario plays so smooth
On the movies and tv shows
But reality is my mom might have cancer
I than wrote so many sad stories in my notebook before
But I wasn't going through it
So the pain and tears I could ignore
But last night I drove my mom to the hospital
And she said

"The doctors said,
They found a mass in my stomach.
It could be cancer..."

The doctors said,
They found a mass in her stomach.
It could be cancer...

What happens when this happens in real life
And the victim isn't an overpaid actor
But someone you know and love
See reality is,
Life isn't full of happy endings
Saying to my self this isn't happening
It couldn't be
This woman who gave birth to me
Couldn't possibly have cancer
So now I'm on knees praying to God
Hoping he answer
Lord did you hear what she said???

"The doctors said,
They found a mass in my stomach.
It could be cancer..."

The doctors said,
They found a mass in her stomach.
It could be cancer...

The devil has given mind control of the youth
To these rappers
If not,
At least to these actors
So now the youth on the streets are actors
Playing in a motion staring picture
And if you didn't catch the picture
They reveal the image
That they seen on the tv screen
Such an evil thing
See the devil is smart
A T.V. is worth way more than a nuke

Don't you understand,
The Devil comes under the false advertisement of peace
Under who advisement is you looking for war
You thought he come with all out destruction
Naw, He came with false hopes of construction
You don't need to enslave the body
When you control the mind
Jim Crow
It took awhile but it seems,
They finally mastered his teachings....

Dear, The One That Got Away;

Hey how you doing? I hope I'm not intruding. I just want you to know that when you left, You left me in ruin. To understand we never talked much. To be honest the only conversation we ever had was a shared smile. On a crowded street, But it seemed to last a while. They say eyes are the windows to your soul. So when our eyes connected my soul threw rocks at your window. Begging to be let in, Romeo and Juliet. We could of had that fairy tale love, obviously that only happens in books. Because our opportunity past so now I must dread the opportunity I never took. If this letter ever reach you, I want you to remain strong. I want you to know if you try your hardest nothing can defeat you. With that being said I guess the only thing left to be said is, I hope you feel the same way...
Sincerly, Your Lost Love

I opened my eyes this morning and took my first breath...
Took notice of my surroundings, Than checked myself...
And made sure I was in good health...
Sounds like an easy task...
But tell that to 1 of the thousand's of people that didn't wake up...
Tell that to 1 of the many abused child who life story is worst than any you can make up...
The smallest things we take for granted, Is cherished by someone else...
So Cherish every breath...
Live for the moment...
Everyday find your enjoyment...
Don't get loss in your stress...
Remember that you're blessed...
Blessings only come after trials and tribulations...
Tomorrow isn't promised so Today strengthen your relations...
With the money comes the problems...
Na, when the money leaves come the problems...
When those come all the people you call friends go...
You need to let them type of people go...
Real friends going to be there through whatever...
When it rain you going to find that one person that make you feel like they can change the weather....
Cherish them...
And never neglect them...
Cause anyone who can do such an impossible feat surely deserve your heart...
Give it to them whole, Don't just give them a part...
Stop giving your heart to the wrong one so they can just break it apart...
Save yourself for the one...
Stop looking for a man to save you...
Save yourself...
Everyday That you wake up remember that you're blessed...

**** your opinion
And your idea of what a poem should be
**** rhyme schemes because can't no rhyme scheme limit me
This is the only chance I get at freedom
To express my self freely
So **** anyone who feel they have the right to judge me
I don't care if my scribe has no thesis
No point or too many points
Don't care if the flow is right
Maybe I didn't want to flow tonight
Maybe I just wanted to write down all my feelings
On a notebook page
Read it once, Ball it up, and throw it away
To symbolize me throwing my pain away
And If this scribe just some how happens to find structure
And find it's way to you
Don't mind it
Because I didn't do it on purpose
I propose that you **** your self with a pen
And when you ******
Take your juices
Right me a scribe
Telling me how
You don't give a **** about me...

I don't know whether this is a dream or a fantasy...
But how could it possibly be...
That on this night you here with me...
You can be anywhere in the world that your heart so desire...
But after days of working on my mind In my heart you choose to retire...
You can rest there as long as you remain there...
I will always love you as long as you show me you care...
They say home is where your heart is...
So when you return home I promise to always be there...
But you must understand that a one sided promise just ant fair...
So you got to promise the same...
Also you got to take my name..
From here on out nothing will be the same...
See this all started with a wave...
But it would of all went away...
If you didn't have the strength to stay...

So now we stuck in this little world of ours...
We left everyone on the outside...
And decided to build a home...
We standing at the alter...
My mentality has been altered...
I take your hand from your father...
To begin a new life...
From this point on may we become one...
Till the end of time may we remain one...
We just got to stay strong...
I know we going to have our ups and downs...
But when them bad times come along...
We just got to remember them good times...
Like the nights we spent on the phone...
Late Night Conversations...
Mentally Ventilating...
Memories Commemorating...
Intellectually Reintegrating...
How we belong together...
In our alphabet's lets make "I" and "U" the only letters...
"I Love You" always remember them 8 letters...
When I say, "I Do"...
I mean "I Do"...
I just hope that you mean it too...
If you ready for it just take my hand...
We'll take this world together...
I give you my good...
I give you my bad....
I give you my heart...
I give you my mind...
I give you my soul...
If you going to take me girl you got to take me whole...

What is life with no loving
What is a kitchen wit no oven
What is a sentence with no verbs
What is a poem with no words
What is a word with no letters
What is a bird with no feathers
What is good with no bad
What is happy with no sad
What is lite with no dark
What is fire with no spark
What is heaven with no hell
What is quiet with no yell\'
What is a calander with no date
What is life with no hate

Poetry is...
Feelings and emotions...
Words going through the motions...
Of life commotions...
A broken heart's...
Magical potion...
Pain receives healing...
Behind deep notion...

Poetry is...
What ever I make it...
I bend reality...
Sometimes telling lies...
So others can see the truth...
Like saying, "Love Doesn't Exist"...
Or maybe that's true...
And your world consist solely on hate...
It depends on you...
You choose your faith...
I'm just here to twist your reality...

Poetry is...
Feelings and emotions...
Words going through the motions...
Of life commotions..
A broken heart's...
Magical potion...
Pain receives healing...
Behind deep notion..

Poetry is...
Relief...
An escape...
From society...
Into me...
From everything...
I put my thoughts together and create...
Leaving behind societies lies at the gate...
Everything they taught me about righteousness...
Consisted of some form of hate...
So I put their lies up to the light...
God over shadows them every time...
He's the inspiration behind every line...
The reason I write...
So now I write to impress him...
Hoping that my words express him...
And his love...

Poetry is..
Feelings and emotions...
Words going through the motions...
Of life commotions..
A broken heart's..
Magical potion...
Pain receives healing...
Behind deep notion..

Poetry is what ever you make it...

I been pursuing her for a while
Her best feature is her smile
But I also like her style...

The way she speak
It makes me weak
But I ant seen her for a week

She been gone
I'm all alone
But we still talk on the phone

She say,  "I Miss You"
I Miss her too
But if she only knew

How I really feel
I got to keep it real
But If she say no... Will I love her still?

Should I take the try
See I am kind of shy
But If she say no I just might die

My mind is split
My heart is lit
But what if she cant commit...

She might say no
I don't know
But where will our relations go???

Ill take her hand
Say I love being friends
But I rather be your man

What else can I say?
She now know where my feelings lay...
So now will she go... or will she stay???

When did I become a ******
I lost my virginity somewhere in between,
Random one nightstands...
And drunken ******
Virginity lost so long ago
Can't even remember why I lost it for
Now I find myself on the delivering end
Of some woman who tommorrow,
I won't even be remembering
I don't want to be misleading
I actually have feelings for these women
But it seems to get ******* at the end of each meeting
Than they just become another notch on my belt,
Which I guess is good
Because it seem like the more notches I get
Seem to prove my manhood
When did I become a ******
Maybe it was in the 8th grade,
When I got addicted to ****
Or when I got to college,
And it became so easy to get a drunk female,
To my dorm
When did I become a ******
When did *** become an addiction
Maybe in high school when all the dudes would brag,
About females they than hit
And I just got tired of listening
So having *** became a mission
When did I become a ******
I guess somewhere in between,
Losing my virginity with my first love
And the women I slept with last night,
Just because
When did I become a ******???

Why do you put lies in your rap???
Just setting yourself up for a trap...
You say gold this and infinity...
But don't got none of it...
You offending me...
You can't become friends with me...
I don't know you...
Stay away from me...

See nowadays everybody wants to be a rapper...
And if not a trapper...
Some how I just ended up being a poet..
Taking the whines of the drunken dope fiends...
Turning them to a lesson for the youth to do the right thing...
Don't you know everyone of them had dreams...
But their dream world isn't where they ended up it seems...
So now they get high to take trips to a world of dreams...
It's a place you don't want to go...
Unless you are prepared for the devil to play tricks on you...
You lost track on what's reality...
Now you can't even define yourself...
How do you plan on finding yourself...
Stop listening to societies lies..
And start asking why...
Why is it "cool" to glorify sin...
And act like a fool...
But to be smart is to be labeled "Un-cool"...
Why is being "good" lame???
Where did society get so ****** up with to begin???
Why do so many people conform to be the same???
Why is the world ruled by vices???
Is it somehow by the devil devices???
But who has time to ask questions any ways...
So you just get drunk and high...
Figuring this is the way for society to get by...

You didn't see the tears
That she was hiding through the years
You did see the bruises
Though she covered them with excuses
You didn't see the fights
That happen behind there doors at night
You never heard her cryz
But you saw the pain behind her eyes
She never asked you for help
Deep down inside she knew that she needed her self
Because who knew what she face better than she did
She was a grown woman on the out side but inside still a kid
Calling out for help but no one would answer
And as time went on the problem grew worse like cancer
She looking for a "Doctor" to come and tear it out
But no one heard her mental scream and internal shout
So who will help her who physically cant ask for help
And who will help her who cant help her self