its cold outside,
like Minnesota snow.
i'm swimming in white,
and drowning in the darkness of the night sky.
all i have on is my leather boots.

i noticed you back in the 6th grade,
your blue eyes,
your light brown hair,
your shy smile.
you don't think of me as i think of you,
you never will.
when i see you in the hallways i fell bliss,
i feel warmth,
i feel lust,
i feel lighted up.
you make me happy.

your lust,
your body,
your lips,
your hair,
your eyes,
your smile,
your lust.

im laying on the floor,
gazing at my laptop,
dreading that this day ever happened.

i don't want tomorrow to happen,
i want to stay in my bed all day,
alone,
where nothing can hurt me or make me fell the way i do right now.

east to west,
north to south.

New York to Paris,
San Francisco to Tokyo.

mountains to valleys,
forests to deserts.

all i see is you.

we are the youth,
we are the depressed ones,
we are the lonely ones,
we are the heartbroken ones,
we are the confused ones,
we are the youth.

we have been close for 2 years,
we've been through fights,
break ups,
laughs,
good times.

i don't want to end us,
but i'm thinking we have to depart.

you don't treat me with any respect,
you never have.

i just don't want you to go away just yet,
out of my life.

falling more and more into a dark hole,
i find myself in complete sadness.

no escape.
no hope.
just darkness.

theres nobody here,
just myself.

there are no paths leading to light,
theres nothing.

i dread you,
i hate you,
i  loathe you so,
with 7 whole hours of hell,
why go?
all i know is,
that at 20 after 2,
i'll be as far away from you like the sun and the moon.

im sitting here in my bed,
thinking of all the mistakes i've made.
i am no longer happy,
i am someone i don't want to be anymore.
i live in fear,
i live in sadness.
i miss my childhood,
i miss my not being lonely.
i just want to be happy again.