I wish that I could honestly say,
That I'm okay today
I wish that I could honestly say,
That I have the happiness I've always longed for today
I wish that I could love
Like a normal person loves
But, like I've said before this depression and anxiety
Have always ruled inside me
I wish you could understand
Like you always say you have
But, you have not been through
The crap it takes to know me
To love me
To understand me
Do you not understand
The person you've seen
Will, has, and always has been the fake me
I wish that I could finally trust
But this thing you call trust
Isnt a thing inside me
Especially since the crap that has happened to me
Do you not understand that that crap is scarring
When you are so young
What I wish you would understand is
Im NOT a fact
Im NOT a statistic
Its NOT my fault
Im NOT to blame
I did NOT deserve it
And I was NOT asking for it
And finally
I wish you could see
The things killing me

People say they have true friends
How many mean it though

Think of what you say about so called friends
Many friends will come and go

But the ones who stay are the true ones
The ones who stayed through thick and thin

Through the ups and downs

The bad memories
And the good memories

They are the true friends
The good friends

They are the ones that care
The ones you should trust

So think about your so called friends

See which ones are true

People say they know
People say they care

Not everyone does

People think they know
They think you're always happy
But the smile is fake

No one understands
It seems like no one cares

They say they love you
But it just seems like a lie

You have to fake
The smile you hate

You have to fake it
So people don't know

If you let out what's going on it's awful
The crying and being upset means your a baby

That’s all a lie
It means you held it in too long

I hope someday they will understand

You see the fake me
You still think it’s me

You see the “happy” me
You still think it’s me

You don’t see the real me
But you still think it’s me

You don’t see the real me
But you still think it’s me

I have a story
You do not know

I have a truth
That isn’t there

If you knew my truth
It’d make you think

Maybe the things you said
Were not fair

If you knew my truth
You’d see the pain that I lack

If you know my truth
You’d think I’m lifeless

Because of the emotion
I do not show

If you knew my story
You’d know how I feel

You’d look at me
And see the pain

That is slowly escaping
From my brain

So next time
Please think

So I don’t feel the pain

You look at me
You see a smile

You look at me
And you wonder

You wonder
How I'm smiling

You wonder because
You see the pain

The pain that I feel
When you look at me

You see a smile
You see that smile and you smile

My life is a life
That I want to give away

My life is a life
That won't be here to stay


My life is a life
That's slowly clicking
All its time away

My life is mine
It's a life I say


My life is mine
But I won't be here to stay

My life is mine
But my time is ready to come

My life is mine
And I want it to be done

You see perfection
I see imperfections

You see happy
I see sad

You see beautiful
I see ugly

But today
I'm trying to change that

I am pretty!
I am worth it!

I can be happy
And I can be perfect

I now see
The things you saw

I know what you mean
When you say wow

Thank you for helping me see
The realness in me

There’s a war inside my head

One side says dead
The other says live

There’s a war inside my head

One side says eat
The other says starve

There’s a war inside my head

One side says be happy
The other says cry

There’s a war inside my head

One says be fake
the other says be yourself

There’s a war inside my head

One side says you’re strong
The other says you’re weak

Did I tell you
There’s a war inside my head

You think I’m living
Is it cause I’m breathing?

You don’t know that I’m dying
You don’t know how I’m feeling inside

You see the fake smile
You think it is real


But if you’d look into my eyes
You’d see the pain that I feel

If you’d look you could see
The pain that’s in me

If you’d just look
Maybe you understand
The pain that you see

If you just look you might see
The pain that is dwindling in me

I have scars
I have lies

I have truth
Behind the lies

Behind the scars
You can see clear skin

Behind the lies
The truth and the scars

You will eventually see
The pain that I'm in

You've seen my scars
You've not heard my story

You've heard my lies
Not my truth

You've seen me cry
But have you heard my worry?

You think you know me
But do you really?

I hate my life can’t you see
The pain in my eyes
when you look at me?

I want to be done
But I can't just yet

my story isn’t over
I’m almost done

My life is a pain
I want it to end

But my story isn’t over
This isn't where it ends

In life I can do great things
Eventually I  WILL win

But I have to know
This isn't where my story ends

She wants to die
Can you not see?

She want to cry
But you don’t see

You think she wants to live
All because she smiles

But can you not tell
That’s not why shes smiling

She smiles cause the thoughts
The blood and the cuts

She smiles because one day
She knows her misery will come to an end

She smiles because she knows
That one day her time on this Earth

Will come to
A very happy end