she’s pregnant with a boy

the size of a bean

with a heartbeat so loud that I’m affected by it.

I honestly feel like this child is mine

which crumples me

and ruins me

because if a 16 year old girl thought my baby was hers,

I would tell her that she might as well be infertile

But I’d apologize later.

But that baby will be the death of me

maybe he’ll teach me how to love

But I think it’s beautiful.

how I have secrets that I whisper to myself in the dark

and how I know all too well that rivers look deeper than they actually are

but also the fact that I’ve been strung out on prescriptions

while sneaking out

this makes me think that you don’t know what the **** a paradox is.