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Mia Eugenia Sep 2013
I overdosed on clarity
There aren't numbers to count
The number of times I've watched the sunrise
And wanted you to be there
And there aren't words to describe
How my hand feels when it isn't near yours
But I realized
While sitting on the side of the street
Counting the clouds
That I don't need those things
And I don't need you to complete
The moments in my life
That feel empty.
Mia Eugenia Sep 2013
My vision is cloudy.
I stare out to the yard
And I fear all white and red lights
Because the serenity of this moment
Must not be ruined by you.
There are blurry outlines of beings everywhere
But I prefer it this way
Because I'm a coward
I would rather not know what's coming
And acting surprised when something shows up
Then have time to prepare
For what I know it bound to happen.
Some would see this as courage
The ability to go through life freely
And without restraints of the imagination
But I see it as another way for fools
Like me
To blame the world for their misfortunes
When I know I could have predicted this
Of only I put on my glasses.
Mia Eugenia Sep 2013
My writing is a pool of unattainable thoughts
Trying to find explanations where there are none.
I wouldn't expect you to understand because I don't myself
And
Like my words
I am floating aimlessly
Because my goals are unreachable
And my dreams are undesirable
Closing my eyes
And catching flies
Will only get me as far
As their wings can take me.
I am forever glued
To the spot you left me in
When you told me you'd see me again soon.
Lies.
All lies.
Liar.
I was warned and I continued because
I trusted in the man
Who I thought had
The heart of gold.
I was right
You do have a heart of gold
But it makes you greedy
You concentrate on how your happiness
Is immensely more important than
The people who loved you
And I say I understand
And I plead others to have reason
But I have limitations
And you are testing my tolerance
And your balance
Because
Trust me
The tightrope your walking on
Has two ends
And I am only holding one.
Mia Eugenia Sep 2013
The only constant is change.
That must be your reasoning for why
Your emotions are constantly changing
Are you trying to find some stability
In a life where there is none.
And if I am the closest thing you have to stable
Then you must live your whole life
In the last ten minutes of Titanic.
Well good luck in the future
Because I am done being your rock.
If you've never noticed
People step on rocks
And the pebbles don't even get a thank you
When you use them as stepping stones
To cross your precious river.
Not only am I not interested in being
Walked over by you
I do not intend to spend the rest of my life
As your stability
Because do you know what happens to Stability?
Nothing.
Nothing happens to Stability.
Mia Eugenia Aug 2013
You own the world don't you?
And you let it rest on your *******
Because you have to prove to the people
That you don't give a **** about them.
We Can't Stop is your summer anthem
And you follow it like it's the Bible
But the Bible never did much for you
Did it?
God never whispered in your ear and told you which way is up?
Well then i guess you'e just like the rest of us
Aren't you?
Out of everything you've done
Is that the hardest thing for you to admit?
Forging your life to follow in the footsteps
Of a fictional character
Is no way to go through life
But I guess no one ever told you that
And even if they had
I bet you wouldn't listen
Because you spend your time trying to convince everyone
That you're happy with what you have become.
The saddest part is
Your sweetness isn't a mask
It's just hidden by one.
Mia Eugenia Aug 2013
Things keep coming back
And I don't know where to put them because
My shelves are filled with the fallen stars of yesterdays news.
I leave bread crumbs trailing behind me
Not so I can know where I've been
But so I can know where to turn back and run to
When the flowers at my feet start to wilt.
I wish had time to sit and smell the grass
I remember how I loved that smell
When the world was simpler
And I didn't spend my time tripping over pavement
trying to get to a building made of glass
That I can hide in
And I'm always hiding
But I don't want to be anymore
I want to lay in the grass and feel free again
Like we did that summer.
We swore it would never get better than it was in that moment
And though those were just words we spat
breathing in the Jerusalem air
They became my truths.
Don't you understand?
The feeling you get when you think
That this is the best it gets for you
Is not a happy one.
Not for me.
For me it was a feeling of complete despair.
Mia Eugenia Aug 2013
O' bright one, tell me of the stars
Tell me about the songs each one sang to you
Whisper to me the secrets of the sky
Of the darkness you encountered
But of how there is light in the darkness
So you knew you'd never be completely lost.
Write me bed time stories of your adventures through Saturn's ring's
And the craters of the moon.
Tell me of how the face there was carved by you
In honor of the life you've left in a black hole
Somewhere in the depths of space.
Speak to me of the immensity of the universe
And how it only makes you feel larger
Because you got to witness it all from your flying machine.
Tell me of the crystal flowers you picked
In a meadow lightyears  away on a planet like earth
Only the grass is purples and the sky is orange
And the people are happy.
Dear Traveler, Tell me of the wine you drank
With the kings of far off galaxies
And tell me what you told them of earth.
Help me picture the waters you swam in with the beautiful mermaids that lead you astray
But remind me of how you don't care because you got a good story out of it.
Tell me of all the mistakes you are happy you made
Because the stars never judged you
And the planets never abandoned you.
Tell me of the people you met and the lives you changed
Because someone touched by light cant help but shed it on other people.
Tell me of the times you danced all night
Because a young maiden with three heads
Was just too much for you to resist.
Tell me of the field of glass hearts you had to walk through
To get to where you are now.
And then
Blessed One,
Tell me why any of it matters.
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