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Mia Eugenia Jan 2015
We discarded each other like used tissues
And you never looked back
But I did
I ripped through the trash
Trying the find the broken shambles
Left over from who you used to be
Because you fractured yourself
Again
But this time you didn't give me enough time
To put you back together
You let me try
When you knew it was useless
You let me love
When you knew it was fervorless
You let me hope
When you knew I was hopeless
Though time has taught me
That you are the hopeless one
I cannot forget about you
But I can move past the idea
That you are the only one
Who could possibly love
A person like me
But you
You will always manipulate
And toy with
And loose the people who care about you
And until you can move past that
You will always be alone
Mia Eugenia Dec 2014
It makes me think of when
You loved me
If you did
But at least then
I felt wanted
But I can't feel like that
Cause you were no good for me
And now I know
That when the sun sets
It leaves me alone with my thoughts
And that's not a safe place to be
Because your mindset is unhealthy
And I get wrapped up in it
And then there's no going back
If there ever was
Mia Eugenia Nov 2014
It seems like my life is a train set on a track
I'm tied to that track waiting for my own fate to destroy me
And it will
Or you will
Whichever comes first
And that kind face looking at me
Over the brownies rapped in napkins
That we say we will save for later
But end up throwing away
Is the only thing I can take solace in
In knowing that there is something to look forward to
When I'm walking down windowless hallways
That remind me of prisons
Everywhere but that table
Everything but that ponytail
Everyone but you
Has proven that they can do better
But we shared secrets over the Pacific
And across the skies we made ourselves
We made each other a fort to hide our cries in
To escape the world in
But that had to go too
And I watch them all walk away
From my bed
Where they left me to be alone
But they forgot about the most important thing
You love me most.
Mia Eugenia Nov 2014
I was foolish to think that things ever
Change
It is always the same
The only thing that changes is seasons
I thought the north would help
A change of scenery
A change of pace
A change of color
A change of seasons
Maybe a change in the way I see my life
Or in the way life sees me
But I was wrong
Nothing changes
Mia Eugenia Nov 2014
I think It's about time to show my face
I've been hiding behind personas
Sung by my angels
For far too long
And it's starting to occur to me that
I don't need to be ashamed of how I feel
Or felt
There are a stack of unfinished verses
I tried to string together
But the feelings aren't there anymore
And this time I'm not lying
I think I'm done
I think I'm finally over with tear soaked pillow cases
And giving the universe all my words
But being too ashamed to admit their mine
So they're mine
They're mine I'm ready to come clean
Mia Eugenia Nov 2014
I'm getting to that place where this feels necessary again
Where my need for validation
Runs higher than my self worth
And I need someone to tell me I'm right
To tell me I'm good
To tell me I'm acceptable
And not in a passive way
I'm done being passive
You tell me what's good for me
And you go off and betray the only one who ever loved you
And that not me
And he's too far away to notice
But the six hour drive is nothing to him
Cause then he gets to see you
And you're giving him up for someone a thirty second walk away
Selfish
You have the world on a string
But that's not enough
You need to cosmos too
And I thought I was done with all this
But it's becoming more and more evident that
It never ends
The stupidity never ends
The selfishness never ends
The greed
It never ends
And for me
Second place is all I get
I am perpetually wearing that blue ribbon
I try to hide it from new faces
Because it forces me to take off my mask
Which is probably see-threw anyway
Cause I've never been able to trick people for very long
They all seem to come to the same conclusion eventually
And when they do
I'm left
Sitting alone
Wondering what I could have done better
Id like to say the answer is nothing
That I did all I could
That they're all ******
And some day you'll find people who actually like you
But those words are more tired than the socks left on the handles
That will never be clean again
Mia Eugenia May 2014
Bang
My life flashed before my eyes
And your face was nowhere to be seen
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