I swear it feels as if
I walked along a road for quite some time
And didn’t really know which way I should be headed
But kept on walking
Anyway.
And I think my mind went blank a few miles back
And I hurried to make memories
That would last me lifetime
But not matter a day.
And I put my heart into things
I really don’t know
Only to come out with an understanding
That myself is not what matters
To another.
And some days I look at the sky
And I think there must be something wonderful
Waiting for me there,
Because I like to think it’s all a miracle
And we’re all indespensible
In a way that makes us real
To someone so intangible.
I want to shake the world awake
And tell everyone that it’s okay
To not know which way to go,
But to keep on going anyway.

All these people who see me
They don't know who they are.
Everyone's staring in the mirror,
Watching faces fall apart.
I saw a picture looking back,
Hanging high up on a wall.
She whispers to me, with her eyes,
That I, alone, am just
A piece of a large puzzle and
She stares at me and mocks me
With a sneer and not a smile.
She watches me berating
Any fault I can recall.
I'm breaking all my mirrors
Forcing myself not to know
That when I think I see the truth
I barely know a thing at all.

I wish that you would say
Lovely is a perfect word
That shoots its way across your mind
Every time you think of me.

I feel restless again
And I wonder when you’ll come to me.
I wait for you in dreams,
In waking,
In the chilly night air.
Alone, I wait.
I don’t know why
Or what
Or how
Or when,
Only will and I only hope
I hope for something tangible and indescribable.
A conundrum for a dreamer.

I've tried to believe in you for so long,
tried to hold on -so tight-
to a faith I find heart-breakingly intangible.
And, I wonder so often if its me,
specifically,
who is numb, or if
you're just not speaking to me?
I think about you constantly,
wonder when you'll come my way
and I look for you in images of those I love,
yet only flickers remain.
I suppose its possible
they're only in my mind.
I've always wished I could see you,
wished my heart would split open
and rip to shreds
over a love I can't even imagine,
but I find,
instead,
I am alone
and no one cradles me at night.

What's the point of madness
so deep,
so cunning,
so beautiful?
The doves came out to play
and that song ran through my head.
It was saying,
"Enough will never be enough,"
so why try so hard
to get it all in
before the end of the road
comes upon us.
And, oh,
it's quicker than we know.

Tonight I bring myself to restlessness,
Awake until my bones beg for comfort.
Its these nights I've come to fear.
An un-rested spirit has an open soul
And the night is a blank board
To pin my thoughts upon.
I'm near certainty
in that i believe I always find
Myself this way.
I'm a pinprick in my own design,
Unread, untouched, and restless
To be heard.
And, I don't know what brings me to myself
When the only light I feel
Is from another's lamp,
But my heart is a restless annoyance tonight.
So, I find I count the stars
And label each with misery
And call them friends,
Because that restless desire has set in
And no one else will do.