It hurts
So bad
I don't want to leave.
I don't want to give it up.
I don't want to let go.

It hurts
So bad
To think
Of everything
The danger
The risk
The hurt caused
And the truth

It hurts
So bad
To plan the next year.

And suddenly
Something wrenches your heart
Deep down inside
And everything comes crashing

D

      O  

             W
                   N

                         T
                           O
      
                                T
                      ­            H
                                     E

                                          ground.

I can't do it
I can't.

Why did I even
Volunteer
In the first place?

I'm going in there
Alone
My buddies aren't going

Alone
Awkward
Lost

What if I mess up?
I don't want to be a fool.
Will I make any friends?
I'll need allies.

Then there's everything at
Home.

Then there's everything in
School.

Nothing's even started.
And Here I Am.
All this fear is making me
Cranky.

I am going to snap.

Torn
Stretched
Crushed
Killed...

Why did I even commit to
All
Of this?







Oh, I forgot.






Cause you made me..

The year hasn't even
Started

And I'm already

Dying

People always ask me
Why I watch the
Same
Movie
Over and
Over and
Over again.

Maybe it's because
I want to stay
In another world.
Another world that's

Simpler
Happier
Free
And simply
Better

And that just makes me want to
Cry

Maybe the reason
Why I had that dream
Was because I needed
A Reason
To Cry
.
.
.
And still,
I had to keep it
In

Today, I woke up
I was cranky.
I didn't speak as much,
So I wouldn't pass it on.

Today, I woke up
I was cranky.
I wanted to pick a fight,
Anyone, anything.

Maybe the luggage,
The CG's off balance
And it's giving me bruises.
Twisting my wrist
And taking my shoe.

                                                  [Kick it]

Maybe the guy who took my seat
Again
In the train at the
RESERVED SEAT SECTION
Scrambling away to the seat
In front of me, then
Reclining it all the way

                                                [Slam that table against the back of his chair]

Or maybe just sulk
For another day
Inside the dark dark
Bunker
And not come out
Till forever

Today, I woke up
And I was
Cranky

Your Face
Is the first thing people
Seek
To see;
To tell
Who you are

The very first
Judgement
Made

Your Face
Is what people look to
To tell
How you're feeling;
What you're planning;
What you're thinking

Your Face
Gives you a unique
Identity;
Even twins can be told
Apart

And now
I can't even wear
My Own Face
The Normal One
Placid
Flat
Expressionless
Now forced
To be permanently pulled
Upwards and Out
In a big big

SMILE

So unnatural

But



Nobody Notices