I can never linger
it isn't written in my genes or encoded in my blood
in fact I simmer like a deep-brewing fire
only the wind on my cheeks
& the scenery whizzing by can stifle my flames
whimsical indecisive fickle
no commas can contain me
I am this metaphor & that simile
I am those paradoxical adjectives & I don't create irony
I am the irony
free spirit & old soul I have been labeled both
whatever you like to call it I can never linger
a blessing or burden either way
the loveliest blooms always depart from the fields the fastest
you have never seen a fairy because they carry on & on
carry on so quickly
I am the soul of your lost father & I am the nostalgia of your dead mother
I am all things mystical & majestic
the weeping willow tree by the lake & the lightning that smites it
the strength you misplaced is found deep within me
wherever I go love will seek me out & find me
but I can never be contained & I can never linger
I only wish to "burn, burn, burn like roman candles across the night"
so please
do not ask me to stay

When we first began dating, I was using you to get over someone else.
I never told you because you would have gotten upset, you lovely hypocrite.
I even kissed someone else while we were still dating, and it has disgusted me ever since.
I never told you because you would have never spoken to me again.
Before your growth spurt, I lied when we both agreed that you were definitely taller.
I never told you at the time that I was 5'3" and you were 5'2".
I never told you I always looked for the triangle of dots on your neck. Every ******* time.
I did not like your best friend.
I never told you he reminded me of a sociopath, because he was one of the biggest influences in your life.
And all of your favorite songs at the time.
I never told you I went home and put all of them on my iPod, just so I could impress you with how well I knew the words.
When I started crying after our first time having ***, I wanted you to just forget it, I was fine.
I never told you I was crying because I had realized I loved you, and it made me feel free.
I never told you this, because I'm not sure you would understand what I mean when I say 'free.'
One time, we were in bed and you were looking so **** peaceful with your eyes closed, and I took a picture.
I never told you.
I never told you I was actually awake when you thought I wasn't, when you whispered into the phone, when you whispered you wanted to marry me someday.
I never told you I once had a dream about what our kid would look like.
I never told you about the night I counted all the tears that leaked out of me because of you. Twenty seven.
No, I was definitely not okay with him watching, but I never told you that.
I never told you that I was scared to speak up because I was terrified of losing you.
I never told you to grow up.
I never told you what I found out.
I threw my necklace you gave me into the lake, and I never told you.
I never told you how easy it was to fit into your warmth.
And how easy it was to fall out.
I never told you that I still think about you at the worst times.
I guess I never told you a lot of things.

I could sit and laugh as you stumble down the hall,
I could smile at all the times you hit wall after wall.

You see the picture and think you’ve got it figured out,
But when you find another dead end, you realize it was only another bout.      

I’m the perfect artist, painting perfect pictures on my walls,
Just when you think you’ve found the real exit again, everything falls.

I’d chuckle at your troubles but I’m discovering my own plight,
I’ve painted so many exits, created so many lies; I can’t remember which is right.

You’re fed up and I’m getting scared, once again, it’s a dead end
You see this and I show that, neither of us knows if it’s after the next bend.

So I’ll run in my own maze, never finding the truth, only the fake,
I could sit and laugh, but I won’t because I’m about to fall and break.

I've always felt that those I love are most beautiful in the morning
When they first awaken, their eyes puffy and their hair disheveled
Red marks from the blankets sketched across their skin

In those moments
They're confused
Disoriented
Unaware of their surroundings for a brief moment
Newborns to the day

Before they put on their faces
Before they put on their clothes
Their identities to the world

You get a glimpse of this sweet, innocent child living inside of them
A glimpse of this person, in their most raw state

That's how I know I love you,
You're beautiful when you're vulnerable
Adorable when you're ugly.

Burning all of the pages
I've written about you
would be equivalent
to setting a forest on fire.
Except I couldn't do that.
What a waste of paper,
what a waste of trees,
that I planted and grew,
watered them with my tears,
watched them flourish
with the many colors of you
glistening on all of the leaves.
The only thing you've written about me
was my name on the back
of a scratch piece of paper
crumpled up and forgotten
and you didn't even finish the sentence.
Just a little tree sapling.
Well, you can burn that
with a flame torch
for all I care.