meow: Poems

adored

meow Sep 2013

adored

the world was a scary place and sometimes i felt like i couldn't quite breathe. the invisible walls of the outside world would close and i wouldn't feel like i belonged anywhere.
but then i met you. well, not physically, which makes me giggle because it's amazing how one person, one person out of a thousand could suddenly mean the world to you.
like to me, the concept of loving somebody was hard because i know myself that i get bored of people easily and i mean that in the nicest way possible.
it scared me, the fact i mean, that i could fall in love yet get bored of the sweet personality i once swooned over.
but it doesn't feel that way with you. you've opened up a new space. a new visualisation in my mind, one that doesn't scare me to the point where my minds plays silly games.
when we talk, i get those butterflies in my stomach and when you're gone, i miss you. your voice is like a present when you've been gone for so long.
how i wish you understood how much i adore you.

(a.t)

breathe me

meow Sep 2013

breathe me

you taste like whiskey
you smelled like cigarettes

your ways of affection gave me butterflies
and the way you made love caused shivers

i'd fall asleep within your grasp
and you'd hold my hand and play with my hair
until the sun painted a new day

but you couldn't handle much more
your love was work
and i was the job

we didn't last
and it was all my fault

(a.t)

breathe me

meow Sep 2013

breathe me

you taste like whiskey
you smelled like cigarettes

your ways of affection gave me butterflies
and the way you made love caused shivers

i'd fall asleep within your grasp
and you'd hold my hand and play with my hair
until the sun painted a new day

but you couldn't handle much more
your love was work
and i was the job

we didn't last
and it was all my fault

(a.t)

breathing beautiful words

meow Sep 2013

breathing beautiful words

i am not a writer
and i am not a poet

i am not interesting
nor am i enchanting

i do not breathe words
that inspire and create
their own seperate life
leaving the page

i have no charming personality
and no good appearance
to help my days grow faster

(a.t)

breathing you in, | exhaling you, never.

meow Sep 2013

breathing you in, | exhaling you, never.

you are the person that sends me crazy
and the person that could change me
from the sadness i've encountered
to a lovely form of happiness
(lovely; like blossoms in spring)

a.t

demolition lovers*

meow Sep 2013

demolition lovers*

demolition lovers
met after midnight

when the sun was gone
and it was barely light

they drove along
in their blood stained car
in desperate need of a liquor bar

the only thing that kept them sane
was feeding off of others shame

(a.t)

{demolition lovers // my chemical romance}

different is important

meow Sep 2013

different is important

the dynamics of the way i love you
are quite simple but then again
i'm not simple
i love differently and
i wouldn't be ashamed
if it was a sweet kind
of different

but it isn't
and i am not

(a.t)

emptiness // loneliness // hollow headed girl --

meow Sep 2013

emptiness // loneliness // hollow headed girl --

there is a empty space
in my cold bed
with all of the white sheets

there is a lonely place
in my cold bed
where you used to sleep

there is a hollow place
in my messed up head
where your love used to fill

there is a dark blue sky
when in mid july
we'd sit on the grass
and count the stars

but in what world
is there a starless sky?
in
a
world

where you do not live

(a.t)

famous and notorious

meow Sep 2013

famous and notorious

i'd sing constant lullabies
that would be denied
because my voice isn't beautiful enough
for the boys in the army
who stand in straight lines
and cheer names of girls
with more ambition than me
to the girls that have those cinematic voices
and the right iconic fashion choices

(a.t)

gone - gone -- gone

meow Sep 2013

gone - gone -- gone

sobriety, they say, is the best for a broken mind. and that's okay if you've been through it all. but if you haven't, how do we, the broken ones, understand that you're not lying?

i've tried to relieve the demons in my head from eating anymore happiness.
the section of my brain that once held happiness is slowly being minimised and that's why i'm not okay. do you understand?
i'll push you away. i'll act like i hate you. i'll think you hate me even though you've told me over a hundred times in one conversation that you love me.
and you'll say you understand, you'll stay that you'll be there through it all, but again, that's what everybody i've told says.
you aren't going to stick around forever with somebody that doesn't accept the love and the compliments you give them.
you'll soon see her as merely somebody you used to know. a human that cuts their own skin and tries to end their life because they can't take it anymore.
and when i'm gone, you'll say you "tried" but all you did was left.
you left me when i needed you.
when i was desperate for your embrace, you were gone.
you were with her.

(a.t)

i want to be yours

meow Sep 2013

i want to be yours

i want to be yours

i want to be the one you call at 3am when you can't sleep
the only one you find yourself subconsciously daydreaming about
you wouldn't brush us under the the floor boards and leave it discreet
but you'd hold my hand infront of people day in and day out

i want to be the girl you'd write a song for
the one that would make you feel happy inside your core
you poetry would be noted

most of all
i want you to love me
just like i love you

i want you to think about me
just how i think about you

maybe things wouldn't be so hard
if you didn't live so far away
i know i'm not in your best regards
but you're all i think about before i close my eyes

(a.t)

raindrops

meow Sep 2013

raindrops

i could sit on my windowsill for hours
sipping tea as the raindrops splash into puddles
and the aftermath is left to lay on the floor
but then the skies turn from grey to black
and the rain stops
and it starts to hail
and the hail stones are like tiny ice-cubes
that melt when they hit the small rivers in the dents of the street
and the meaning of where i'm sat
is that when you were here

you'd know that whenever i'm sad
or upset or in need of someone to
show me what i'm missing
you'd hold me tight and sit with me
and we'd count the raindrops
that fall and make larger things

(a.t)

scarred arms | scarred hearts | scared thighs | new cuts

meow Sep 2013

scarred arms | scarred hearts | scared thighs | new cuts

broken hearts leave scars sometimes
i would know because my sister has scars on her wrist
she told me that her heart broke and the pieces of the torn apart *****
played songs upon her wrists
they danced with their other half whilst leaving blood red trails
and when the scars formed
that was when they died
they left a slight exhibition on her wrists
and they're fading now
just like a corpse would do
if it'd been buried under the ground for so many years
my sister isn't heart anymore
she said that she needed to go find herself
in happiness so she left and my mother told me that
she won't be returning for awhile because
she's moving in with her happiness
that so funnily happens to be in the sky
and sometimes my sister comes to visit
but she only waves and then disappears

i miss her all of the time
i miss her when the sun shines
when the rain pours
when the snow falls
and when the wind blows

(a.t)

swore to stay | why'd you leave?

meow Sep 2013

swore to stay | why'd you leave?

my happiness is as faded as the red sweater that's being continuously washed
and my skin isn't how it used to be
so pure and tender and soft
and sometimes because of it all
i forget to breathe

i often wonder why people leave
but thinking back
i haven't tried to make them stay
what's the point?

i still have the old locket you bought me
from the antique store
where the mirrors stuck together on each wall
even the ceiling and i saw reflections of myself
past | present | future

you handed it me and swore to stay
was i not good enough?
i won't spend time chasing you and
begging you to stay
if you weren't going to anyway

(a.t)

— The End —