you can destroy my body and cut my skin
or invade my mind to "make me thin"
but i have gotten stronger,
i have seen the light
no mental disorder
is killing me
tonight


*/evjs

Shops close while a storm front
     is moving in
and my eyes adjust to night.
Last fool who's out walking
and I guess I dressed a little light

Late winter flakes streaking
a ***** wash of tracers,
                          grey on grey
Silhouette of five fingers
in streetlights cast as they're grasping
                                    at door frames

Still holding out. Your distance
  reaches out across miles
           it strikes me blind.
Now listen up--I've been whispering,
"One more shot's all I ask;
          my aim's alright."

A laundry list of dead actions
fills up a page, it's sour in your mouth
I've been living scratched off in the margins
Take your time, we've got all Spring to thaw out.

Orange light through bay windows
               is spilling out
in a citrus wash on snow.
Street you live on a memory
913, left turn off Bird's Hill Road

I bet that it's warm there
though the frost covers window
                                       panes outside
And today I remember
the way your laughter thawed out my
                                            frozen sights

Still holding out. Your distance
       reaches out across miles
                  it strikes me blind
Now fessing up to bad reasons
One more turn of the season
                         you'll be fine.

I guess I missed the benediction;
bless your heart, cross my best wishes out.
So let's fill this page with better diction--
Syntax sorted, we'll just talk ourselves down.

i'll sit here alone
and try to decide which is heavier;
my eyelids or my heart.
and while I ponder this decision
even though tears fall from my hollow eyes
stinging my face like acid as they roll
and even though my hands are wrapped
around my stomach so tightly,
they may actually sink through my skin
far enough to touch my spine
and even though these sobs that I'm heaving
as if the light in your smile depended on my lack of oxygen,
are gripping me so tightly, i almost forget what it's like to be able to
breathe.
I will use every last ounce of life in me
to shine a flashlight through my eyes,
so they look a little lighter,
and stitch up the corners of my mouth,
into something that will make you think I'm not dying
and every cell in my body will ******* when you fall for it.

Step 1: Kiss her, hard.
Step 2: Let her swim through your body and feel her fingernails accidentally chip a piece of your heart off.
Step 3: Do anything and everything that absolutely terrifies you, then do these things again, with her this time.
Step 4: Climb a mountain, then write her a letter once you reach the top; spill your guts out onto that piece of paper and watch as the snowflakes turn into words and -27 degrees turns into excruciating emotions.
Step 5: Realize that death is just another form of telling her that she's beautiful & listening to her sing in the car & watching her graduate from the school we call life & letting her run her sandy toes through your leg hair.
Step 6: Jump off of a cliff made of her memories, then sink to the bottom of that ocean which is filled with contaminated smiles and laughs that you haven't seen or felt in ages.
Step 7: Congratulate her on her new job and marriage.
Step 8: Give her newborn son a big hug, for the both of you; knowing in the back of your mind, that should of been your little boy to give kisses to on all the boo-boos and scratches he gets.
Step 9: Accidentally see her across the park, jogging (so beautifully if I might add), and walk in the opposite direction.
Step 10: Keep on living, without her.