You can't let your parents love or the broken love that you've seen all around the world define what you are going to love like or what your love is going to be like or what love is going to do to you; you just let yourself be guided by it.

they say to be sympathetic to care and do good to others that its the only way to live

I'm so sorry for hurting you. For letting you love me soo strong that now it's hurts you. Now you have to live with the pain and it hurts me to know your hurting. I won't let you know though I want you to believe I'm happy the way I want you to be. I know it'll take you time to heal and don't worry you'll find someone way better than I ever was and I hope you don't let me get in the way of you loving again. Because I know you can and I know you'll be amazing. I'm sorry I hurt you.

When I'm with you I forget about everything wrong in my life.

Every time I close my eyes I see you. I never believed in that saying but now all I see is you.

You know how I knew he loved me.

I have this addiction towards you that doesn't go away. I want all of you all the time, everyday. I am afraid it will go down in flames but I'm willing to burn.

Your love was unconditional and everlasting but my love was unreal and not you.

As i sit here looking through college degrees i cry.

I am the one you said you loved and in a moment of days you turned to someone else and said "where have you been all my life, I've been looking for you!" Now whether you loved me or not I'd rather forget, if only it didn't hurt so much to be forgotten so quickly.

What is a hero but someone who has saved a life.
What about the hero that saved my life
unintentionally with words of kindness and understanding without knowing the pain i've been in for the past years. Just the simplicity of kind words and a strong friendship saved my life.

You wanna know how I know she loved me, because she had her hair long, she hated having long hair but because of me because she loved me soo much, more than anything in the world she struggled everyday brushing and doing her beautiful long hair for the rest of her life and it was all for me

I believe that if you're unhappy you should change but then again I'm unhappy and I haven't changed

Maybe I'm not good at this maybe my ideas are just way too all over the place so why do I keep trying because I know I will one day be great like in my dreams.

If I keep writing would you notice me ha just kidding I write for me not for your sanity.

What you think is frankly none of my care it'll hurt if its bad but it'll go away just as any other compliment I've been given but I think I should start holding on to the good comments.

My child will know the difference between pain and happiness and I can't help it but see it live life as choosen.

I have no idea what to write half the time but when I write I feel happy even if what I write makes no sense at all.

I'm selfish because their is no one that will be there to hold me during my agony.

I am currently working on a story that I have absolutely no idea how to end.

I'm tired of reading, it's my turn to be read.

I don't know what's more sad the way we looked at each other or the way neither of us had the courage to talk to one another

Sometimes it takes me a while to come up with something good sometimes I have no inspiration sometimes I have no motivation sometimes I forget how good it feels sometimes I just put it down sometimes it takes me years to come up with something good sometimes I just cry and forget
Sometimes I pretend it doesn't hurt
Sometimes I try too hard it's not good
Sometimes I will write good but always I will write something down

All these good men fall in love with me but I can't seem to fall in love with them I always seem to want the bad boys that will beat me emotionally & physically

I write for me not for you, not for him, but for me - to feel well to be emotionally settled and let things out because once it's done on paper I feel like this weight of the world is off and I am free

You made me cry
Not because you upset me or anger me
But because I opened up to you & slowly I am allowing you to tear me open, I am letting you know me, ****** me and it's scaring the crap out of me, like what if you hurt me yes, it feels nice now but I won't want to admit that I am falling for you more and more everyday that is why I push you away I just can't bear to be hurt again I'm not ready but I never liked what ifs so I will take the chance of getting hurt and love you in the meantime, I'll even yell it to the world like a foolish woman

It's funny to me how every time a couple gets into a relationship the guy is the one that is told to take care of her and make sure to treat her right or else his going to get it but what if it isn't the guy that should be told that, we automatically assume that if the relationship were to end, it would be the guys fault because we as girls are supposed to be angels, fragile, and innocent but not all girls are angels, fragile, or innocent, some are just plain cruel

If I was immortal
I would read every book there ever is
and I would learn all languages
and I would travel Europe.

she drank beer the way I drank water she had a beer bottle and cigarette in one hand and the other caressing me she said I wouldn't understand even if I tried so she took me to bed and kissed me until I was full on naked and ready to **** she serenenaded me with words that meant more to her than me but I couldn't understand because she mumbled half the **** she said I called her beautiful and she said thanks she didn't even look into my eyes but she kept a smile the whole time I couldn't tell how many times she'd done this but I knew she had experience the kind of experience that you know she's been around  she acted so casual and played me like a doll I didn't do anything but stand there and let her control me and take over what little sanity of me I had left

when I get closer I can see the dark circles under her eyes exhausted but still trying to hold on I could feel her pain but I can't taste it she won't let me she lets me breath next to her and lay with her while she secretly cries in front of me but I can't get to her she won't let me in she won't let me love her the way she deserves to be love

I'm starting to forget the names of those I've spent a... what seemed to be a lifetime of adventure, love, and great friendship I try hard not to forget their name because they've made a mark on me they each taught me something whether it was small or big n I still wish to see them in twenty years and say hey I remember your name and exactly how you scarred my life and not necessaryly in a bad way but in a way that made me realize that good memories don't need to last forever in order to have known something beautiful while it lasted

we all go living life the same as yesterday expecting different results but people can't seem to understand that in order to have something extraordinary you have to do something extraordinary

he sat there so calmly he made the world stop, breath, think and then let it get back to its job creating misery and blossoming creativity that only scares the ones who are afraid to move on he is so beautiful, so serene you want to kiss his cheek while he reads corrupt lies and misunderstanding signals if only he looked up once he would know his found love but instead he hides underneath the books that tend to pretend to give him life the kind of life that's not living but the kind of life that's just breathing

I fell in love only once
I didn't know what it was
at the time
it was only lust
it was only a game to see who would fall broken hearted first
to see who'd dare to say those words that mean so much
to see who'd forget that things in this world don't last forever
to tell a story of misery
to see who'd become sick and bored first
but then we shared secrets and danced while drinking ***** under the moonlight

I'm the type of girl that if I don't stand in front of a mirror I'm full of insecurities and I could be very self cautious
I'm the type of girl that loves to wear dresses and high heels but is afraid to fall or rip the dress
I'm the type of girl that doesn't like to be called girly but in all honesty is extremely girly
I'm the type of girl that will sound like a ***** when she is correcting your stupidity and then apologize
I'm the type of girl that will fall in love with a guy that won't even notice me
I'm the type of girl that will laugh at little things
I'm the type of girl that will try to make your day better even though you tried to destroy my world
I'm the type of girl that doesn't ask for much but honesty and love

stressing over a homework assignment that has absolutely no meaning and is complete *******
stressing over a guy who stares at me for the whole lunch hour but wont dare to say hello because of whatever reason and i dont know whether to make the initiave or not
stressing over wanting to rebel and scream at the top of my lungs and run away to a place that wont make me oh so satisfied
stressing over family on how obnoxious they can be but still being patient because i love them
stresssing over trying to make him notice me
stressing over wanting to "fit in" to some sort of crowd that doesnt exist
stressing over not knowing what i want to do for the rest of my life
stressing over not knowing whether id find that person to complete me

I love the way he stares at me without a tease
though I wish he had the ***** to talk to me
he only stares at me from a safe distance
I wish he stared at me face to face
I wish his friend didn't like me so things won't be so awkward if anything were to happen
I like his voice and the way he sneakly stares at me from his peripheral vision and looks away to secretly smile
I wish it wasn't so hard to talk to strangers I guess ill just take the initiative from here and see the possibilities

I want to create something beautiful that if I went into a coma and woke up not remembering a single thing I could look at what I've created and see beauty.

you say that I am beautiful
you want to spend every living day with me
you want to cuddle up next to me
you want to make love with me
you want to watch and show me your world
you want to listen to music with me
you want me to breath on you
you want to dance like silly kids
you want to hold my hand like lovers
you want to me to stay and not leave
you want all these things from me and you haven't even asked me I what I want from you.

will I ever be good enough for you? will I ever fill your silliness? your happiness? your sadness? will I fulfill your needs and wants? will you learn to love me? will I learn to love you?

and its just one of those things that could never leave me alone
words, sentences trying to figure out how to put it all in place so it could make sense to you
so you could read my sappy writing about a girl who puts her thoughts down before going to bed
and you could, but you dont have to, agree or feel anything and i know i am not as amazing as Charles Bukowski but i hope one day i am and i hope that this thoughts wont drive me crazy tonight

its not about what you look like or what you like or how many things we disagree or agree on, its about the company of just having you there next to me smiling, laughing, going mad, or crying, being a friend that doesnt need to comprehend or know my story to be there for me and support me through the good or bad

i think of myself as a very boring person i dont say much but people still talk to me and say things like they miss me and they want to go out with me and for a moment i feel loved.

just love me please
i cant promise tomorrow
i cant promise i wont change
i cant promise perfection
i cant promise a fairy tale
i cant promise it will be easy
i wont promise anything
ill just give you my love
and hope thats enough
to keep you close to me
to love me the way i love you

stop trying to figure me out
because i dont know who i am myself
so stop trying to fix everything and stop
trying to puzzle me back together
maybe i like to be a little broken
maybe i like the pain
maybe i like being confused and lost
be there when i weep but dont console me
it just makes me angry when you do that
because it only makes me feel like a child
like i dont know things are happening

she has this sadness in her eyes and
i dont know how to get rid of it
for she has suffered
too much for me to repair

it is meaningless your words
dont mean anything
you could say them a million times
in a million different ways and
i still wont believe you

look into my eyes and stare at them for a moment
and tell me a lie and hate me and keep pushing me,
keep pushing me down and just keep yelling at me with those
harsh words that you know will only hurt me

look into my eyes and stare at them for a moment
and tell me a lie and hate me and keep pushing me,
keep pushing me down and just keep yelling at me with those
harsh words that you know will only hurt me

how am i possibly beautiful?
id better leave before you change your mind,
id rather you think im beautiful than have you see me
as the real mess that i truly am