If now is a prediction of the future than i hope to exit now and explore other realms of options and opportunities to better map my future in order to achieve happiness or at least a sense of stability I need a stronghold or a fortress of some sort to protect my insecurities and help mask my Great Depression which consist of a decline of love and joy which has become a treat instead of a meal my moments of temporary happiness is so few and far between that I see no silver lining in my unfortunate situation called life one of my hopes is that I disappear into a world of nothing to sit in a room of no emotions and no stress nor noise just utter silence as if I reached in my head and set missiles on a mission of mass destruction of my mind and a goal of freeing my trapped thoughts I hope to achieve something greater in this room something beyond anything I've ever felt something related to peace.

i like to feel broken i think
sometimes
  i like the way you broke me.

The twinkle in your eyes when I profess my love for you the feel of your curves cascading down your long body and the shape of your honey lips how could I forget the pleasure of ever loving you of ever knowing such a delicate flower? My sweet angel my diamond in the rough of life my warrior and my hero a comrade in this war of love my goddess of Atlantis Athena the great my loving queen how could I have ever been so mean! Love of a lifetime in this soulless world my never ending dream my true beauty queen live long, love forever, miss me never, stay true, be you.

i don't think that i will know you five years from now,
but i will remember you,
and i will hope that
wherever you are
and whatever you're doing,
you are happy,
because that's all i ever wanted for you,
anyways

If god truly does not exist at least I spent my life believing in something greater than the human race and something beyond this miserable thing we call life

it takes approximately two months to fall out of love,
apparently

I wonder
if the lobster chested
  orange women
regret the youth they spent in the sun

My momma always warns me
to wear sunscreen so I won't look
like one of them and sometimes
   I do but sometimes
I have trouble
finding fear in the lobster chested
   orange version of me
              because the sun
              makes me happy
and if being orange skinned and
lobster chested means
I was happy once
would I really be ugly at all?

and when I see the
bruises on your throat
    soft and
          orange, it
makes me jealous
because your version of love is so easy
to come by but I
just can't swallow it.

I've heard some girls boast
about swallowing because I guess
it's supposed to make boys like you
   well
I can swallow too
I can swallow
   my fear and
I can swallow
   my insecurities and
I can hide them deep within me
    where
I don't have to show anybody
    and
I don't have to tell anybody

because the summer rays of sun
run circles round my eyes
and all I'll ever need is
to know that I survived

i miss you when you were
******* beautiful
with black eyes and thick eyelashes;
i miss you when you were
a mountain man with long brown hair.
i miss you when you were
untouchable and desired
with a broken nose and broken teeth;
i miss you when you were
a sentient being with stories to tell.

And this girl with the rough edges
And the sailor's mouth
Just might be the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
It's not a secret that
I like a girl who can hold her liquor,
But it might be a secret
That this girl,
With her tattoos
And her piercings
And her ****-'em-all facade
Fits so perfectly in my silly dreamer's heart
That I sometimes forget
She isn't mine.