It's funny
How whenever I
Tell someone about a
Trauma they
Always let me know
What I
SHOULD have
Done.

Lately I've been thinking
About all the hairpin
Turns I've gone around
Too quickly
And almost eaten
My own ***
Straight into
A tree

And mostly
I've been thinking
About all the
Ships I've sunk
With tiny
Needle.     point
Holes
Thousands
Of perforated
Perfunctorily placed
Sailor sabotage

All of those ships
resting at the bottom
Of my halfway conscious
Self
Because I'm afraid
Of being the barnacle
Brained woman
That I am
Clinging to the bellies
Of the sinking
Ships I've carefully
Cast into
The depths

And lately I've
Been wondering
Why I've never been so
Lucky as to
Hit one of
Those needle poked turns
As fast as I could

I've never told anyone
About the boy
That lived on the edge
Of my street
Growing up
He was about 4 years older
And
Whenever we'd play
Manhunt in the neighborhood
He'd find me
First and
Shove his tongue down
My throat
And touch me
I was four
He was eight

And I saw him on Facebook
Today with
His three year
Old daughter
In his arms
And now my
Throat hurts so much

My heart
Doesn't belong in
My stomach
Carving out
A hollow place
An attempt
To hold myself
Together

Am I upset
At your disappointment?
Or just upset
At the way
It makes me feel?

The city
Is swelling
Like the belly
Of an opossum
That was
Hit by a car
On memorial
Despite
The constant
Gridlock of
Folks wasting
Away with their
Air conditioned
Tape deck days

The city is swollen
Like my lower
Lip when
You smacked
Me across my face
And I don't know
How
I ended
Up being the one
To blame

The city is swelling
With people
And somehow
I managed
To never stop
Feeling so
*******
alone

Skin to knife
Skin to knife
Skin to knife
Knife
To
Skin