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tiles
stacked in rows
of 3 or 4
dust and hair
collected
in a gallery of
memories
like finger
prints on the wall
from the time
you touched
so much more than
the front gates
and with love
lost
I cannot find
comfort
no safety of warm fires
and no protection from rain
just

my empty stomach
full hands
A drizzle, soft
touches the earth
with thousands of palms

A hurricane
with love held from
within the earth
can move mountains

I can only
hope to touch you
with such
dualities
I want
thousands of
beautiful words
to tumble out of my
mouth
to take
your breath away
to show you
what it is
I'm feeling
but every time
my chest inflates
with the thought of you
I have no words
at all.
It's the kind of
                 burn that
            sits                  waits
                 softly tearing
        at your
flesh
breaking
         a p a r t
tangles
of nerves
squeezingyour
sinking
                         lungs.
                             cornering a
                                  croaking   h e  a r  t.


back me into a
corner just to feel
warmth from my flame.
a window
with finger prints
and nose prints
from kids who
press their faces
to glass
and write novels
in the condensation
that collects
from your display
your body
their home
the place
the endless
question and answer
they want to know
your anatomy
your brain
they want to pick at it
like the three
day old scab
that sits just above
your brow
from being
attacked while
walking home from
the bar

but no!
oh god no!
they don't care about that.
they care about
whether or not you'll keep your *******.
as if they are their ******* to decide
they complain you're unnatural
they complain
that god made you this way

What I want to know
is where the
     *******
in the bible
does it say your body is a
                                             cage?
rant
when birds begin to
lose feathers
they sit
in red
they wallow in home
in nettles
and leaves
and hair from brushes

they bathe in
bones
and rosewater
not done
this morning
i tasted
purple and white
as the sun rose
and i watched
a coworker
pour 4
sugar packets
into their coffee
by 11 my veins were pumping
yellow
and black
i was buzzing
i was electric
driving home
at 90 miles
fueling flames
and taking names

by 3 my breath
stood idle
in red
dancing around the
start
waiting
waiting
and then by 4 my eyes
turned green
in pure bliss
bending
twirling
kissing
then with your
face to her ear


by 8
i dove into blue
i dove into black
when I remembered
sometimes I feel
there aren't any bridges here
for this gap

by ten
I turned off the lights
and sat
with the wings
you gave me
in my hand.
i've been incredibly manic depressive lately. i tend to invalidate my emotions when i know that i'm thinking purely with my emotional mind so i'm trying to just put them out here to validate them in my head and also give myself a chance to step back and look at them.
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