I miss when we were trees
All we knew was growing to the sun
And God was in my shoe box
When he gave me a shower
In purple pagan rocks
Coiled seasons were never
Created by a big bang
Rapid sings like vapid
With TV waves in brains
Colors smell like black and white
Greyscale is just your head
(Melted membrane to the third)
Why did our lips still taste like living pine
That's what I was waiting for
Our completely open sign.

The toasty warm water
Synthetic nature, fluid in my veins
It almost felt like christmas
With jalapeños on top
It almost felt like the night
Your dying heart stopped
Wheezing beats poured in
And you washed your hands
Never ever to touch that needle again
But if only you had taken the chills
And the tired pain
You wouldn't be on this path
Of winter rain

Depression sinks like a ******* stain

the universe is one room, one pocket of energy
and it's expanded void
just like life is made of two cells,
star dust, and waves of orange and pink
and a sickening red
burning into sun like grapefruit
oxidized and covered in incense
skin only stays smoke
torn by time and time because it's torn
useless is the same
sometimes I feel real, but I usually see out of myself not through my eyes
it's almost
like my blood isn't in balance with gravity
sometimes it pushes up against my skin, expands too fast for force,
towards the stars
which is where we all start
and all start to end.

Because your hair smells like incense.
Because your body is just a cage for your mind.
For your spirit.
Because when you are broken, you know you have clay.
Because you think in poetry and pictures.
Because you know just over that mountain there is life.
Because you are you and you know exactly who that is.
You are beautiful.
And don’t let anyone tell you that just because your hair smells like incense…
Don’t let them say you can’t be the beauty over every mountain.
in every tree,
under it’s bark,
overflowing in it’s existence.
You are that beauty.

"I understand that your skin was soft and this is how it was supposed to be
but I'm still sorry" he waded silently through the crushed velvet waves
This made me think of all the skeleton keys
and the flowers just inside my walls, things buried too deep
I thought about how I wanted those things to stay hidden
Probably until my late 20's when I'll look back on my teenage years
And see every mistake in brightest light I can
And the corners of my mouth would feel warm, I'd smile.
"I take responsibility for what I've done... For what we've done.
I don't hate you, but I don't think we should really have any sort of relationship.  Just because I've accepted what happened doesn't mean
I don't feel my heart sink when I think about it, and it's been
What, two years? I don't know when that's going to change... or even if it will."
I replied struggling through quicksand that was far too familiar, but for some reason completely different this time.
He understood why I wanted things this way
We parted with a few simple words wishing each other the best.
And that was all.
But oh how badly I wanted things to change.

It's that moment that's going to stick with you
That moment where you honestly think your life is about to end
As you clutch the blue corduroy fabric on your couch
And scream out in pain
Your body is screaming back at you just as violently
"How could you do this to me?"
Your stomach is gnawing through your skin
You know you need to eat but the thought of it just
Forces stomach acids into your throat
You swallow and try to clutch the couch harder
You try to get a better grip on reality
But this is it
It's scary because you've already lost everything except for your physical being
And now life and death is melting into that couch
"You
        Are
               Dying."

Then,
At that moment,
You decide to run.

I guess it starts as a flame
Burning,
Bursting with energy
Melting the wax
Deterioating skin cells
Sick cells
Emotion and mind
It makes you stupid
Makes you insane
Makes you love
Makes you black, white, and a sickening red
And when the symptoms of infection start showing
When the blisters start oozing
And when the pain is unbearable
Put out the flame
Let your wax return to a solid state
But I warn you
Love leaves deformities
Leaves loving deformities
Puckered lines that are painfully friendly and painful reminders.