Because your hair smells like incense.
Because your body is just a cage for your mind.
For your spirit.
Because when you are broken, you know you have clay.
Because you think in poetry and pictures.
Because you know just over that mountain there is life.
Because you are you and you know exactly who that is.
You are beautiful.
And don’t let anyone tell you that just because your hair smells like incense…
Don’t let them say you can’t be the beauty over every mountain.
in every tree,
under it’s bark,
overflowing in it’s existence.
You are that beauty.

"I understand that your skin was soft and this is how it was supposed to be
but I'm still sorry" he waded silently through the crushed velvet waves
This made me think of all the skeleton keys
and the flowers just inside my walls, things buried too deep
I thought about how I wanted those things to stay hidden
Probably until my late 20's when I'll look back on my teenage years
And see every mistake in brightest light I can
And the corners of my mouth would feel warm, I'd smile.
"I take responsibility for what I've done... For what we've done.
I don't hate you, but I don't think we should really have any sort of relationship.  Just because I've accepted what happened doesn't mean
I don't feel my heart sink when I think about it, and it's been
What, two years? I don't know when that's going to change... or even if it will."
I replied struggling through quicksand that was far too familiar, but for some reason completely different this time.
He understood why I wanted things this way
We parted with a few simple words wishing each other the best.
And that was all.
But oh how badly I wanted things to change.

It's that moment that's going to stick with you
That moment where you honestly think your life is about to end
As you clutch the blue corduroy fabric on your couch
And scream out in pain
Your body is screaming back at you just as violently
"How could you do this to me?"
Your stomach is gnawing through your skin
You know you need to eat but the thought of it just
Forces stomach acids into your throat
You swallow and try to clutch the couch harder
You try to get a better grip on reality
But this is it
It's scary because you've already lost everything except for your physical being
And now life and death is melting into that couch
"You
        Are
               Dying."

Then,
At that moment,
You decide to run.

I guess it starts as a flame
Burning,
Bursting with energy
Melting the wax
Deterioating skin cells
Sick cells
Emotion and mind
It makes you stupid
Makes you insane
Makes you love
Makes you black, white, and a sickening red
And when the symptoms of infection start showing
When the blisters start oozing
And when the pain is unbearable
Put out the flame
Let your wax return to a solid state
But I warn you
Love leaves deformities
Leaves loving deformities
Puckered lines that are painfully friendly and painful reminders.

In the end there was no depth
No talk of life in whithering flowers
Or "I can't stand to be without you"
Only ambiguous dialogue
And love lost in nights spent alone
I melted onto your skin like wax
Scarring your memories of me
Into a malavolent **** that lies on your left wrist
But blood is not something I can handle.
Not when I've seen that blood in a hundred different ways
Pushing and pulling me in and out of what's natural and not.
Because in the end there was no we
Just a you
And a me.

I dove into him
Broke the surface of your ocean to feel
Ice cold lust
Crashed into your rock hard arms
And slid down your rough terrain
It took me years for my glaciers to reach the lake
To melt into your soft summer waters
To melt beneath your surface.

For some reason tonight I feel depressed
like there is a dark nebula forming inside of me.
I know that sounds stupid,
but it's how I picture it in my lungs,
asphyxiating me from inside,
melting my solid structure,
then gently pressing me into the earth,
and the whole time my heart is beating,
                                                        ­  beating,
                                                      ­      beating,
                                                  ­            until it just comes to a slow halt.
And I wonder what it's like to die alone?