You're carved thin
and I'm built round
You're everything I wish to be
and I'm everything I wish I wasn't
You're not rough and
You're smooth but not slippery
When I just fluctuate between the three
and I hate that I can't match the way your pen spills onto your paper
and how your feet fit so perfectly when mine are either too big or too small
When I get sick
You do too
but people actually care.
When we speak I feel an inadequacy that is too familiar
I love you
It's just hard to be static
No...
It's just hard to be beautiful.

I was dead all along
Predisposed to be a waste of wheezing breaths
I am the **** of the earth
Growing from ***** roots
I will always be the mutt,
the *******,
the runt.
Never will I reach heaven,
And never will I be at the top;
The cream of the crop.
I was born this way.
I am an addict.

Reality is not set in stone
Life
Life isn't real
Here
Here is life
He said
"Life can't be fake because the only thing you will ever consistently have until the day you die is the life you lead."
But it's scary not to know if I feel
If i see
If i touch, taste, smell
What's actually there
What if I can't see the blue
or the cold can't be felt
What if this isn't reality because reality
Is a dream when I was little
Those dreams that stayed with me when I was awake.

Void
Without any contents; empty.
Falling asleep feeling under my skin
Subsistence
The state or fact or existing.
Or nothing at all

Fraudulence
That seems so real
Like the feeling on my finger tips
Brushing water on your cheek

Smile lines
Thick from fake
Please have my heart to take

To live or to die
To do what's natural
What's right and what's wrong
What's ******* and what's not.

A sense of self worth
Something I can't gain or lose
Something that's just gray
Not black or white

Folded gently in the thickness of the wall
Polar emotions surely will mark my fall
Until life is nothing, nothing at all