Mel Little

Mel Little 5d

JW

Yanno

I think it’s really, at the end of the day, that you’re the only person I could ever truly unmask with. You’re probably the only person that knows every depraved, ****** up thing about my true personality.

Thanks.

Please try to be happy. For me.

Mel Little Nov 5

Daylight Savings

My son does not understand why it is darker now
“But mom, three days ago at this time there was still sun!”

And I explain how, in our part of the world, we change our clocks for the benefit of using the most of our daylight

I do not tell him it is because we are slaves to time in the worst of ways

We spend mornings enjoying the sunrise together, and I count myself lucky that this time shift occurs

I do not tell him how I wish I could make it stop all together

“So is it 8? I’m staying up late?!”

I don’t bother to fight him, it’s the seventh times he’s asked the question, and I tousle his hair instead

Big brown eyes mischievously twinkle as he reaches for a hug, and jams his little fingers in my armpit painfully

“Tickle!!!” He shouts, rolling toward me and giggling.

I do not tell him that I would give all my hours to live in these moments with him

Mel Little Oct 29

*****

Maybe it’s cliche to say
“I’ve never felt like this before”
Especially at my age
with the notches in my bedpost

It’s always different
The falling headfirst
The expansion of the different parts
Of my heart and mind

This doesn’t feel like another lesson
Butterflies erupting from my gut in the worst ways
This doesn’t feel like it’s going to hurt like hell in the morning

Time is irrelevant here, the cadence of
Our day measured in heartbeats and
Conversations
In anxieties and emotions
In knowing that we have each other

This has only ever felt like home.

Mel Little Oct 14

Quiet

No, no
Shh honey, it’s alright
I don’t wanna fight, don’t wanna do
Anything
But hold you and make all the scaries disappear

Yes, it’s fine
I know what it’s like to live inside
Your own head
Fighting
Tornados of chaos peeling at your
Sanity

Shh,
the world is big and we are small
But there is nothing to do
But hold each other
And face it

Mel Little Sep 7

This is mostly sarcasm

I don’t think I’m made for the life of settling down

Because the boys that treat me right don’t **** me right
And the ones that make my bones shake are ******* I wouldn’t let my cat befriend.

I think I’m meant for the streets.

Mel Little Aug 7

Hasta Mañana

I knew this would come

The crack in my heart

The nostalgia as I stare at what could have been so hard that I know it’s ignoring me now.

The awkwardness exists in a bubble, one that hasn’t quite popped yet, but I know will.

And I only just wish that you’d seen me before it was too late.

Mel Little Jul 25

What I envision

I see a lawn mower with a pull start that I’m just not strong enough to get myself the first time
Maybe I’ll just plant clover, since grass is an invasive species
A swing set that in a few years I will curse, because no one uses the **** thing anyway, but I cannot just give up the nostalgia

I see boys tennis shoes laying at my door as my son and his friends play video games, or soccer, or skateboard in the street, or hell even just hit each other with sticks, as boys will be boys after all.

I see a laundry room, a whole separate laundry room from the house, a room that has a place to actually fold the laundry before you deliver it to its home.

A bathtub that both knee and nip can be warm, a place to smoke a joint or drink a beer and forget that the day was stressful.

I wish for a loving partner, of course, but I’ll do this regardless.

I have simple dreams, sure. But they’re still dreams.