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Sometimes I just want to cry
Without you here
Without anyone…
My heart is a ghostly ship lost in a stormy sea of emotion
Searching forever,
But never finding
Anything that could make me feel
Truly whole inside.
This poem is actually inspired by a painting my mother made, depicting a stormy sea, with a small ship, and a larger, ghostly ship crashing into it. My mother was an amazing artist...
I feel so alone
No one cares where I am
I feel afraid that
If I go missing
No one will find me
Because no one will know that I’m gone
People only talk to me when they see me
If they see me
It’s difficult to go on this way
Because of the emptiness inside,
I don’t try to hide
People don’t ask
Because people don’t care
They go on with their lives
But I’m dying on the inside
Who can I call a friend?
Is anyone out there?
Searching for me?
Caring for me?
Who can I trust?
Who can I love?
But in reality, the better question is…
Who can love me?
I try to act happy in front of people, but people don't try to look through the haze. They see what they want to see, a pseudoself, not the real me. The me I show to the world, is a completely different me I show to myself...
We are so different
Sometimes I wonder why
You even care for me at all
When I told you I loved you
You told me you didn’t,
But you wouldn’t treat me different
It’s difficult to be in love
With your best friend
I see you all the time
But many times
I feel like you look right through me
You look at the outside
Not at the inside
You don’t comment when I’m upset
Like you don’t notice
Even when I tell you I’m upset
You stay silent.
Are you ignoring me?
Or are you giving me a shoulder to cry on?
I don’t know
It’s hard to know
Many times I feel like you don’t understand me
But we’ve known each other
For 5 years.
I feel like I’m alone in this world
But you bring in some happiness
Even though you don’t understand me
You are still my best friend.
This was written for my best friend, my true feelings. Even though he doesn't seem to understand me, I can't imagine my life without him. I did fall in love with him, but he politely told me he wasn't interested, and the next day, told me he was gay. He had told me about a week before that he was bi, and my feelings for him blossomed, because I had basically always known him as gay, so I knew it wouldn't work.  But I pretty much always had feelings for him. Even now, I know it could never work, and I am also in love with a girl that has told me she loves me back. I guess there's somebody for everybody, even someone like me

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