write
enjoy a walk
draw something
listen to music
cry a lot
get mad
but not for too long
find collages on Pinterest
go somewhere new
watch a movie or maybe  a few
therapy and support systems
and people that see you
consistency
the type of people that you can ask the same general questions to
so you know that you're loved and can pull you out when you find yourself lost
it's not forever
and it's not who you are
it's what happened to you
but you can speak
you can walk away
you can choose your destiny, your fate.
and your symptoms might not completely go away
but I promise you your sun will shine brighter each day.
this is the best way I know how to heal from ptsd.

you're an angel of darkness
don't you know it
your ocean blue eyes
light up mine, heart pounding
and skipping beats
you touch my face
I breathe you in
you're everything I am consumed in.
i'm lost in your embrace
you spin me around
your kisses are toxins
melting into me
lost in your eyes
your spirit and mine
our souls forever intertwined

I am sitting in a restaurant, minding my business and drinking my tea.
A large man swiftly jumps into my booth
"bbq ribs with fries and ketchup" he says
"all you can eat"
I start to stumble on my words as he receives his plate.
"I don't know him, I didn't order."
I try to speak, but confusion clouds my judgement.
He starts to eat.
Confused, I stare.
The BBQ drips off his face
I sit there frozen
He takes a bite, finishing off
Another plate arrives.
"Konnichiwa" he says
"HUHH????????" I say very loudly in confusion, as this was a caucasian man.
Another plate arrives
"RABBITS." he says.
"Wha?" I say irritated
I start to lose my ****.
"Get out of my booth sir." I say.
"Naw." he says with a mouthful of barbeque.
He takes another bite.
So as I ****** his plates
"NOOOOOOOOOOO." he yells in slow motion.
Right then, the plates slip out of my hands fiercely hitting the waiter.
But not only did it hit the waiter, it hit the waiter beside him, and splattering on a group of waiters singing happy tenth birthday to a young boy.
Everyone starts to scream and panic.
"Time to go." I say quietly laughing.
He tries to chase me and falls over.
I make it right outside of the restaurant, as I hear the cops.
I bolt.
"Well that backfired." I say as I ran;
all you can eat.

the floor was wet, and slippery.
beautiful shades of brown, and as the floor started to shake,
it fell through,
to an abyss, or so I thought.
As I float through space, looking around me covered in stars,
a doorway opens, and I fall through.
I start to scream, and I start to yell as
branches start to scratch me and there I fell.
Lost, and alone
I look around me.
"I hear crickets." I say, confused and on guard.
But it's quiet, and it's peaceful.
I walk and I hear leaves crunch under me, the oranges and the yellows.
Another door appears, an arm reaching through this space.
"You finally made it! You're here!"
I grab his hand and walk through.

in every universe
you are my favorite shade of blue.
my heart floats through galaxies
astral projecting to where you are
you are my moon
my stars
and my brightest sun
if i hold my love
inside
for just one second
I swear it would
leak out of me
the  best parts of me
are the pieces
that love you.