I adore the way
Your form fills my mind
The way you kick open doors
Just for the hell of it.
Your smile is always a full on grin
With no exception.
Every time I see that expression
Fill your face
I am full
Of secondhand happiness.
I love it when you climb trees
Just for the hell of it
When you run into the woods
When you do what you want
Without worrying
What people will think.
When you wear forest green pants
And ignore the sarcastic complements
From the ****** girls
In the courtyard at lunch.
When you play your violin
Like a Stradivarius
And fill the practice room
Like a concert hall.
I adore the way
Your form fills my mind
And when I sleep
All I see are your idiosyncrasies

Imagine a world
Where words are not a facet
Of communication
Where language
Is no longer a barrier
Where people speak in music.
Not in lyrics that are poetically
Formed by the hand
Of a well penned composer.
Free flowing lyric less melodies
Communication with a
Chromatic scale.
No stumbling over words
Just the emotion flows from your mouth in a song.
The happiness of light and flowering
Classical music
Mozart.
The bubbly energy of
Jazz, Swing
The peppy beats of
Pop without lyrics
To tie it to one culture exclusively
The sadness of
Alternative
The intensity of
Metal
Every emotion conveyed
In the purest form of music
No words to express meaningless
And arbitrary concepts
That were created by words themselves.
Imagine a world
Where the hindrance of words is replaced by the simplistic beauty
Of music.

Health teacher
blindly reading off the slides
of a powerpoint.
"Don't Have *** Kids!"
"Pregnancy"
"STD's"
"Abstinence"
Perhaps if they took a break
from the negativity.
Perhaps if they stood back
and realized that
gasp
preaching abstinence isn't the solution.
The only reason for the
"Pregnancy"
"STD's"
is that they don't teach us
how to practice *** safely.
They make no mention of
Condoms
Diaphragms
Pills
They tell you over and over again
that if you have ***
there will be children
there will be ***
there will be ******.
They make no mention of anything
other than the cis straight white vanilla ***
they leave the *******
off of all the diagrams of vaginas
out of fear that maybe a woman could
gasp
******!
Preposterous!
They preach victim blaming.
They tell the girls
to stay sober
to never put your drink down
long pants
turtlenecks
Instead of teaching the boys
to keep their erections in their pants.
to treat women like humans
that no means no
she is not an object
she did not "deserve it"
she didn't owe you anything.
Ignorance isn't bliss
and Abstinence isn't safety.

I pulled my old green lunch box
down from the top of the refrigerator
the other day
because my blue one is broken.
I toted my old green lunchbox
swinging it on my wrist
as a walked in the rain
to the bus.
I noticed his
old green lunchbox
that he clutched in his hand
as he walked through the rain
on the way to the bus.
I thought something
preposterous.
Perhaps matching was not a coincidence
but a sign.
A sign from a god or fate that I don't believe in.
That matching is to destiny as fetus is to baby.
I hoped
I hope
That matching will lead to Love.

This is an apology
to all the friends I made
under false pretenses
in the third grade.
I beg forgiveness for the lies that I told
because I was an ignorant nine year old
who had no friends
and wanted to be important
more than anything.
I spun lies
and fed them
to unsuspecting children
on the playground.
I told myself that they were stories.
I forgave myself
every **** time.
With every word that slid off my tongue
I imagined the countless hours I spent
alone
and deemed my stories
an acceptable alternative
to loneliness.
This is an apology
for all the lies I told
to try and convince myself
more than anyone else
that I was interesting.
And for the friends who stayed with me
who waded through an ocean
of dishonest answers
to innocent questions.
Thank you.
You found the real me under a cocoon
I wove for my fragile ego.
This is a promise
for a future devoid of lies.

There are flowers in my garden.
Hyacinth
Tulip
Verbena
Daffodils.
Not enough
to make a bouquet
but there will be soon.

My mind
is a blank and empty canvas.
My soul is open and vulnerable
when I behold you
as you smile downwards.
A butterfinger bar lays in your palm.
Your eyes lite up like that
of a child on christmas morning.
I see on your face, in your eyes, in your smile
an unseen joy.
As if your life has been completed
by a single candy bar.
Your smile is the true essence
of happiness.
I see such joy in your eyes
as i have never seen.
Such a smile
i have never beheld before.
How can just one person be
in such perfect harmony
with the world.
I behold you
with my gaze
and pray to whatever god may exist
That I will be as happy as you
someday.