One day
when I was small
so very small
I got sad
so I bit myself
Hard
until blood bubbled
to the surface
of my skin.
I cried
I put Strawberry Shortcake bandaids
on my self inflicted wound.
I didn't know that it wouldn't
be the last time
that I bled at my own hand.
I still don't know why
sometimes
pain feels better than nothing.
So I choose pain.

I see people
up on stage
with words in their minds
glory in their eyes
and passion in their hearts.
When they speak
they evoke emotions
that I didn't know I had.
They use words
beautifully crafted
to illustrate
they use shift to stun
They open my eyes
force me to see
because sometimes
we all need to be
controlled but words.
They are passionate
and i can feel it
it radiates from them
like heat from an engine.
They are engines.
engines of the Mind
engines of the Soul.
Their message hits you
like rocks
you can physically feel
their connection
to the words they speak
in asymmetrical rhythm
when the yell it is beautiful
when they cry it is beautiful
their words are beautiful.
I want to
write
preform
speak
listen
read
live
Slam poetry.
I want to move people
rally people
together
with my words.
I want to speak sweet lines
and watch people
transform.
I want to draw them out of their cocoons
with asymmetrical meter.
We will flock like sheep
around these poets
who draw us in with words
who speak about things that matter.
We will migrate like monarch butterflies
to a new tomorrow
with one uniting factor
Slam

"I'm so done right now"
words that too frequently leave my mouth.
So Done
It's like a disease that plagues you
destroys the euphoria of life
the exhilaration of simple things.
I see people running around
doing
seeing
being
fantastic things.
In a few years that will be me
But only if I can get up
off my first world slightly obese ***.
Because I want to see the world
feel the exhilaration of life
like i'm
doing
seeing
being part of something important
instead of part of a small town student population.
seize this day.
Instead i feel like i've downed a cocktail
of writer's block, procrastination, and lack of motivation.
I want to live my life
not read it
not watch it
not hear about it.
seize this day
I need to find the inspiration to logout of tumblr
Close my laptop and open up my door.
I can't blame anyone else for my slump
other people aren't oppressing me
it's my own **** life that's depressing me
I have wings and it's about time I used 'em
Nobody clipped them up like those birds in Fly Away Home
why should I Fly Home when I can just Fly Away
seize this day.
I need to Stop pointing fingers
turn them around.
I need to look in the mirror
and love what I see
but not let that distract me
because I am moving forward
like a freight train
My momentum is too strong
and if I pull the break i need to start all over
If i come crashing into station
Then I need a running start out.
I'm procrastinating my life away
This is no way to live.

seize every day.

Sometimes
when I think too hard,
my responsibilities
crash over me like waves
on an expanse of stormy sea
pulling me down under
an ocean of panic.
My thoughts turn against me
and the only thing
inside my hollow head
is doubt.
I can't drag myself away from
the lines i have to learn
the homework i have to do
what if my friends don't really like me
is my mum angry at me
what do i want to do with my life
no college will ever accept me
i'm not smart enough
i'll starve in the gutter.
I want to ******* die.
I lay there
paralyzed
with fear and anger
an emptiness that I can't control.
I feel like something is gnawing at me.
I know what i have to do
but I can't make myself do it
because no matter what i do
there's always more
living to be done
more responsibilities
and it's a vicious cycle
that I can't escape
and i'm drowning on air.
So i cry.
And I pray for death.

Some say that love is like a clear pond
Our pond is full of goose ****
Some say love is like a seaside sunset
Our beach is covered in *******
Some say love is like music
Ours sounds like a constipated goat
Some say love is like a spring flower
Ours is an ugly ****.
Some say our love *****
But I'd beg to differ.

Do we really need
To remind each other of
Kindergarten rules?

Treat others how you
Want to be treated; there is
Nothing more simple.

Do I need to make
This concept slightly clearer?
Don't be a *******!

In fifth grade
They shuttle boys and girls
Into separate rooms.
This is when they try (and fail)
To teach you
About ***
Without teaching you
About having ***.

After four years of
Abstinence based courses
Featuring cis straight people
And only
Cis straight people
I learned nothing
About how cis straight people
Have ***.
After four years of
Shady diagrams of vaginas
That look 0% like vaginas
And do not mention anything
About the *******
I learned nothing
About what's actually between
My legs
After four years of
Hearing the words
"STDs"
"Pregnancy"
I learned nothing
About contraception.
After four more years of
Having the same
*******
Spat at me
I will not learn anything
Because the words
"Don't have ***"
Don't teach me anything.
And being able to say
That every honest thing
That I learned about ***
I learned from ****
Isn't something
I'm proud of.

In real life
They shuttle boys and girls
Into the same room
And tell you to procreate
After a decade of being told
That *** is bad.