Tired of these ******* holidays,
leave me feelin life in a daze.
Tired of this ******* war,
Christmas or Xmas,
Mary was a ******* *****.
Beloved of the lord.
Lets push someone down,
to get into that door.
People pushin and Shovin'
'Tis the season to be Lovin'
Pass the bottle I need a drink,
I need a minute to think,
everybody skitting around
slipping and sliding like an ice rink.

Running on a campaign  of family values,
But the **** you're sayin,
Just ain't true!
Ready to be done with this,
With all of you.
I don't care about your bedroom.
What you gonna do for me,
For all these people like me.
Quit talkin and do it,

Tired of the *******,
you keep putting me through it
Tired of the single-mindedness
And its wide spread acceptedness
It's your fault we're in this mess,
And broke-*** ******* like me
Stuck payin for it,
The reason for this season
died years ago
I'm just gonna say it
Tired of layin low
I'm not the only one
saying what son?
I just want to be done
I'm Not sorry if you're angry with me
It's been building up
and building up
try to tear it down
But I'm fed up
Try to bring it round full circle
Sick of these people
who won't hear the truth
Till this **** hits the roof
gazin around heads aloof

Tired of the *******
you keep putting me through it
Tired of the single-mindedness
and it's widespread acceptedness
It's your fault we in this mess

The bruises you've
left on my body
are imprinted
on my soul
The pain inside
is consuming
every thing
Fever and Fire
sick with your desire
melee muscles ailing
missing the strength they had
tears and blood
rim my weary eyes
I know that you are sorry
You dread to be alone
but when you welcome me
with anger
fear will always leave you lonely
and it has torn us apart
There's nothing left now
but to gather my things
and let myself
cry
But for you love
a piece of my soul
dies

Just in my Reach
I've lost my Speech!
and to you I add
May I beseech?
That you may stay,
Within my site
all through the Night,
Into the Day
Inside of darkness
and the light
Perhaps together, find a way
always more and never less
I think about your warm caress!

I feel elated,
and concentrated
beyond what I may
have contemplated,
or created
this sublime hiatus!
I think of you constantly
wait with you patiently
ode to you
Singularly.

HouseKeeping

I want the Key
Not just the key
The master key
Unlock every door and more
Of course I act like I wouldn't care
Who had it or where
But secretly I want the key
And all the doors it unlocks
And all the rooms that entail
And the prowess of the detail
Nothing stops me
Nowhere
Cause I have the key
I unlock the doors
I don't wait for anyone anymore

Hush now don't say a word
Someone could be listening
Can I trust you'll listen later
Or will you name my crime
The dime you'll pass
To try and save your own ***
I understand I do
You do what you have to for you

So now that you know I won't deny
I've never been to keen to lie
I admit my crime
I give my wrists
To pay for all my wits
I don't regret at all
As the door closes and I fall

I think about you,
every chance i get
and the things you've said
are pretty hard to forget
you're love is like roulette
don't know what i'm gonna get
I've never felt like i was falling
when i fell in love before
it was beautiful and real
it was fast and hard
a steal
too good to be really true
burning red than fading blue
you told me thati'm crazy
maybe enough to handle you
but you make me question
every word you say is true
you make me question
question my own sanity
I think it should end here
but i want to spin the wheel
don't know what i'm gonna get
but i don't want to forget
your love is like roulette
don't know what i'm gonna get

it's our job to question
anything and everything
that anyone tells you
to assume lies
and prove truths
to ourselves
and attempt
to show the world
it's time to listen
it's time to speak
it's time to be heard
are you part of the masses
or are you apart from the herd
Don't buy what they sell
it has communist ties
they're selling ideas
that human nature can't comply
the devil tells a thousand truths
to sell a single lie
prepare for imperfection
to err is to be human
to be human is to err
another way could not compare

Fight hard to be original,
recognized for every syllable.
What's new to be reviewed,
when the world's view is skewed.
....Left....feeling......interstitial.....

If you think it's apparent,
step closer it's aberrant,
a mosaic of ****,
some ******-up *** skit,
but here we sit complacent....

Overcome with images
of young kids in scrimmages....
Oh! What they must be feeling
with these images realing!
This is somehow prestigious?

We get off on misery,
yours, mine, and the assembly
that is, the Universe,
that we scoff at and curse!
I only hope for hopefully....

Everything is relative,
can you be receptive?
Time-space-continuous,
physical superfluous,
the essence of imperative.

I know I've been digressing,
I just want some coalescing.
There is still time to invest,
before we cannot divest,
in whatever Truth we're seeking....

This is your prerogative,
don't tell me how I SHOULD live!
The golden grains of sand,
gritty, grinding through my hand,
my minutes, sifting through a sieve..............

Must make you feel Sound,
Tearing someone to the ground.
To hear the last breath
Stuck inside
Like all the rest
We could've been the best

I guess it's overrated
when you feel hated
Things aren't going like I planned
And I try to stand
But my living space is jammed
Just trying to make it
But I gotta fake it
Smile on my face
To embrace it
I'm tired and I
just don't want to
face it
My heart is sore
maybe i'll break it
I don't want it anymore

It's like no one understands
But I still make these plans
So that when I can stand
I won't tear you down
I'll build you up
Till you are sound
and on your own
feet pressed firmly on the ground

tension          dimension
lost  in indiscretion
remission
a mission
submission commission
a junction to function
condition rendition

sometimes it's heaven,
sometimes it's hell,
I hope I pick the right one
if not, oh well.
I tried to play nice,
But it didn't work out,
sittin in back with a bucket of ice
with my held held high
you're gonna kiss my ***
while i kiss the sky
vindictive by nature
can't supress who i am
with my nose in the air
i'm like toucan sam
I'm a free spirit
and i don't really care
if you don't want to hear it
cause i'm free, free fallin'
enjoyin every minute of it
kickin back with a bottle of ***
if you're against me *******
if you're with me get some
i don't like handouts
so hand it to me
gonna play these strings
like you can't believe
brings tears to your eyes
brings you to your knees
if i stop
you'll be begging me
please , please, please
I need more, more, more
like you can't get enough
like an unused *****
I tried to play nice
but it didn't work out
no it didn't work out

So you got your braces off
Didn't know it would lead to this face-off
You found out you're having a girl
and you think you know
what to expect from this world
But you're barely 16
about to enter a whole new world
one where you don't exist
and people see you and want to hurl
cause the choices you've made
tend to make people ******
No car No job not a thing in your name
and you can tell me what to do
I've got two words for you. *******!!
You've only got yourself to blame
But I'll be here for you anyway
I'm just trying to help you
and you're spewing venom about what i do
calling me a liar and a ****** up *****
and stupid cause of what I've done
But i'm not sorry for goin in that door
You have no idea how much it hurts
To get burned by the sun
Then hit the icy water
and go back where you started from
I would never want that kind of pain for you
But you're already in it
maybe somehow you'll win it
and I hope you do
cause it really hurts
When you're burned by the sun
and you've hit the icy water
and you're back where you started from
it's been so long
it's been so very very long
I'm already ten steps back
looking ahead at where i was
I have to get it right this time
I have to win the fight this time
Cause I don't want to touch the sun
or dare a swim in icy water
I just want to be ahead of where i started from.

will you lay with me
beneath the stars
will you catch each one that falls
will you hold me closer
till we each can't breath
and the world is over

will you leave when all is gone
when i ask you to run away
when i can't take any more of this
will you give me one more kiss
to place above our heads
to remember each word we say

clearly pain has stretched our minds
will we ever understand it
besides within ourselves
will you leave it all behind
will you creep in closer to me
when my tears have made me blind
will you catch the feelings
i have lost so long ago
and bring them back to me
wil you



1/27/03