every moment of every day
i think of how i wish things were okay
yet all i seem to hear is lies
said straight to my hopeless eyes
Do you ever think before you drink?
about the hearts you are about to sink?
im almost out of glue
that keeps my heart from tearing in two


(written in 2010)

i ache and i sway
i cant help but try and look away
the thought of them
gets in my every way
every time i think of you
i slowly die
every time i get a letter from you
i cry
every time i smell you
i stop
every time i see you
time stops

the snow trickles like blood off a cut,
and the wind howls off the mountain tops.
a certain kind of cold strikes in the veins,
of the those who sit around waiting like an old rickety clock.
those who are astray just waiting for the day that someone will finally say,
words that would never decay.
they will be shot into our brains deep down while we lay,
down for some sleep on the cold snowy day.
a mystical lulaby whispering in our ear .
oh my dear its quite too much of a lovely tune,
for you to doze off so soon.

im sorry yet thank you
im sorry for all the times i brought you down
for all my regrets
that i didnt spend every waking moment with you guys before you left
and that i didnt cherish all those memories till now
im sorry for all my bone headed mistakes. and my disrespect powered by hate
that time i never called back.
im sorryi lied to you when you asked if i was ok
and im sorry that i didnt take all those chances that could have changed my life
but in a way- thank you
for forgiving me when i know it was hard
for all my success
thank you for being my brothers and sisters and loving me.
for giving me wonderful memories
thank you
for good friends who forgive me for the mistakes
and my ingenious way of coming back to love over and over again
im glad you called in the first place
thank you
for asking me how i was doing. you kindness speaksand leaves patches of yellow on my broad horizon
for letting me take some chances and succeeding thank you,
thank you alot