Not everyone can do what I do, no
One tries this hard to

Push through the pain.
And
I** know my time is
Now, because

Never have I felt so determined.
One more chance is all I need to

Gain the lead
And
I know I'll make it through, because
No one can stop me, but me!

When you wake up in the morning
and you see the sun rising just the same,
You realize you don't matter,
nothing you can do will make it change.
No matter how important you feel,
you know it will never be real.

The sun rises just the same.

Breathe, Relax
You have only little time
Too much rushing
Always going
Bye

Chemicals, flowing through my veins,
Chemicals changed me, I'll never be the same,
A little different every day,
These chemicals take me far away,
Away from the pain and the loneliness,
Away from that hell, my life is bliss.

I concede to your superiority,
     I get it you're the best.
I'm just a weak little girl,
     Who can't compete with the rest.

But I'm tired of being an afterthought,
     I've had it with these games.
It's your turn to bow to me,
     And suffer with the shame.

You say I'm overconfident,
I say I'm just prepared.
You say I'm confused,
I say I'm just aware.
You say I'm crazy and I agree,
But I don't care what you say,
Cuz this is simply me!

A single white dot in the middle of blackness.
A single white dot is all I can see.
Will this small dot set me free?

The harder I try to reach it, the more impossible it seems.
If I could only move more quickly, maybe then it would get caught,
that unattainable white dot.

I will strive for this dot for all eternity,
though the possibilities of reaching it are rare;
because if I stop now, the guilt would be far beyond compare.

I used to travel the world,
But that was back when I was going places.
Now I don't go anywhere.
I'm just stuck here... grinding my gears.

No I'm not going... anywhere.

And I'm coming in last in this race of life,
Guess I got caught up on the struggles and the strife.
So I'm stuck here.
I'm not going anywhere... not anymore.

I used to wonder what life would be like,
If I was one of those successful girls,
But that's not what life had in store for me.
So I'm stuck here...
                                 ...Grinding my gears.
Hoping things will work out, eventually.

I'm trying to put my brains to good use,
But I just seem to be stuck here dreaming,
About the times when I'd travel the world,
And how much fun that would be to do with my little girl!

Those dreams give me the strength to sit and power through,
     all the gear grinding,
          all the waiting,
               all the trying,
                    all the failing...
Until the day I finally make it through.

I couldn't go today,
I couldn't see her face,
I couldn't say the words,
I just couldn't, today.

I couldn't feel the pain,
I couldn't open up old wounds,
I couldn't deal with it,
I just couldn't, today.

I couldn't pour my soul out,
I couldn't cry for a stranger,
I couldn't handle it,
I just couldn't, today.

I'm losing that last spark of brilliance,
I'd been kindling for so long.
In hopes of some day returning it,
Back to it's original flames.

But it's gone now,
Long gone.

I've got nothing left of myself to give.
Holes in my clothes and I can't keep warm anymore,
By the ashes of what I once was.
One gust of wind and it's all gone...

'Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.'

Blocked off by these walls,
Locked up with these chains.
Living all alone,
Living with all the pain.

I've been blocked off from the world,
Been locked up by myself.
I'm in the little room,
Craving for my health.

Blocked off from my life,
Locked up all alone.
Sitting in this room,
A place I once called Home.

There's so much that I'm missing,
So much I wanna find.
So many great ideas,
There're waiting on the other side.

Blocked off by these walls,
Locked up with these chains.
Living life alone,
Living with all the pain.

Blocked off from my life,
Locked up all alone.
Sitting in this room,
A place I once called Home.

Life, cruel life.
How you torture me.
Giving me hope,
Only to rip it away.

Fate devours my soul.
An empty shell's all that's left.
I cower inside its hole.

I've lost my faith,
Seems it was my destiny.
Fate's vicious attacks,
Skewed my life's normalcy.

You don't have to understand me,
to make me special...
Baby, I'm already there.

My complexity, is my rarity.
I'm beyond com-******'-pare.

Got words in my mouth
& songs in my head
Thought that's what you loved about me...

Hell, I thought we were in love,
But guess that's just another stupid line ya fed me.

I'm not afraid to die,
I've been dead for years...
I am the living, breathing death,
That of your deepest fears.

My life-clock just stopped ticking one day,
and though my death is only pain,
I'd rather linger here with her,
Than be taken away.

Take my hand,
lead me to my destiny.
This white dress is so big,
just like my childhood fantasy.

Tears roll down your cheeks,
as you place my hand in his,
and give me away,
but I'll still love you always, Daddy!

Profound the scribbles,
Eked onto page?

Useless dribble,
Don't dare attribute my name!

Feeling left out,
I’ve been shunned by the flock.
So I stand alone,
And on my own path shall walk.

While the rest trip over rules,
And try to act cool.
I stay on my path,
Persevering, I’m no fool.

And though alone,
I do stand,
I have guidance,
My own plan.

I fight for the truth,
I’ll believe no more lies.
I’ve found the light,
Seen it with my own eyes.

It burns deep inside,
It's the fire that fuels me.
I’ll never lie still,
For it’s this truth that moves me.

I’ve forged my path,
Made something to believe in.
Left the flock behind,
I’m no citizen.

Something's looming over me.
Like a fog cast over my life,
through which I can't see.

It's a feeling at the core of my being,
Screaming,
my life has no meaning.

But maybe it's too soon to tell.
Maybe tomorrow the sun will come out,
and save me from this dreary hell.

I wanna write my own ending,
Wanna hold my own destiny.

Figure it out all on my own
Be in charge of me.

Take control of my life
Be infinity…

I'm great, I'm amazing,
It's a wonder to be me!
But at this very moment,
that greatness is behind lock and key.

Being held captive,
a prisoner of my own mind.
The stress and pain are what is great now,
I've got such little time.

I try to overcome this,
I try to be strong,
but my strength is now fleeting,
there'll be nothing left by dawn.

Alone where judgment is inconceivable
Live seems to be so reasonable
My every dream seems so feasible
Nothing can bring me down

Ignorance lost, a life was gained
Figured it out on my own
Did it my way, made a new path
And I did it alone

Losing my insecurities
And gaining self-respect
Being myself
Bad decisions had a good effect

Daydreaming seems so real
When it's all you know,
Leaving your sheltered life
Your innocence begins to show

But alone where judgment is inconceivable
Live still seems so reasonable
My every dream seems so feasible
And nothing can bring me down!

I gain a little confidence,
     with every single word.
I begin to feel secure in,
     this promise that I've sworn.
Won't let anyone see,
     that scared little girl I'm hiding.
I use the false confidence to,
     keep her from crying.
I take a timid step,
     all the while seeming quite secure.
Moving steadily forward, scared,
     but sure, for her.

Strange things are happening to me again.
Things so strange I dare but whisper in my head.
My life is stuck between reality and pretend.

Sanity’s a hard thing to define,
but even harder a thing to maintain.
All day it causes battles inside my brain.

Sizzle, Sizzle,
hear the sound...
of the Rain instantly evaporating,
on the hot, black, asphalt ground.

The sweet smell of it
fills up your nose,
as the heavy clouds continue to drip,
until that May Flower grows.

Feels like I'm losing,
little pieces of myself,
cuz with each call I make,
it feels more like this is just our fate.

Never knowing the truth,
destine to wade through all these lies,
but I don't know if I can survive,
failing your trusting eyes.

But I put this brave face on,
and just hope you don't see,
the absolute terror,
that's hiding inside me.

I'm attempting to stay relevant,
when everything else just dies.

I'm trying to stay true,
while everyone around me spews lies.

It's funny in this world,
that changes on a dime.

That I'm the only constant,
that which stands the test of time.

We're losing the art of writing,
The sensuality of written words on a page,
Too many people are just typing,
Never feeling the words true pain.

The intensity of a letter,
As it flows from a pen,
The ink splotches that mold together,
To tell the story we hold within.

The signature that shows them,
Exactly who we are,
From pen to paper,
From heart to heart.

Trapped inside this body,
locked up in this place.
A world of pain and suffering,
I never will escape.

Time changes them,
as I'm sure it changes me.
Fear raging through my body,
if only they could see.

It cuts so deeply,
stitches can't repair.
This will never heal,
fear this immense is beyond compare.

You all left me behind,
now I'm stuck here.
Alone in this world,
my pain is this everlasting fear.

I've pushed myself to my limits,
and felt my soul bust at the seams.
I made unrealistic goals,
and tried so hard to live up to my dreams.

My passion slowly faded,
my heart left the game,
but my mind just kept on pushing,
my soul took all the pain.

I hesitantly took a step back,
I was scared to start over again,
but I've realized where I am now,
so much further than where I began.

I wanna believe in magic,
In unicorns and fairy tales,
In all the wonders I can't see,
But inside I can feel.

But something holds me back,
Something always does,
A feeling I can't explain,
that says this is all a hoax.

Pain is controlling,
All of my life.
Is this what it's coming down to?
Never a painless night.

I** am getting so,
Sick of living like this.

Don't think I can take much more.
Every piece of me feels like ****.
All I want is to be healthy.
To feel like everyone else,
Happily  content, to just be themselves.

Never really saw myself as artistic,
more like a science geek.
But the more I look at myself the more I see,
I really am unique.

Hiding from the truth, I'm covered in my lies.
No one knows what's true, I've hidden all the ties.
Hiding from the world, I tried to disappear.
Now I'm hiding from myself, all's left now is fear.

Trapped by my 'image', grabbed by your spell.
Twisted between your love and a life of endless hell.
Lost in my lies, left to be untrue.
Taken from this hell to a love that soon grew.

Drained of my emotions, left to be afraid.
Lost in this darkness, I found something new to crave.
Taken from my life, left to be insane.
Lost in this emptiness, I found something other than pain.

Wishing, Wanting,
     Waiting for,
The world to catch up with me,
     Like it used to before.
Things I thought,
     were so important at the time.
Are now but a figment,
     of my mind.
It's all a wish,
     A wish in my mind now.
We've gotta get through this,
     Gotta do it somehow.

Can't seem to find a place where I belong,
Not just like last time, when I thought I did but I was wrong.

And I remember all these things that happened to me,
I just wanna run and forget not wake and remember this tragedy.

Take it back now, take back the words you say.
I don't ever want to remember this day!

How can you live knowing you did this to me?
I hope you suffer everyday knowing you're guilty.

Feelings suppress my emptiness,
my life leaves me behind.
I'm stuck in the past,
A place I can't leave,
and I wanna tell you everything.

But I'm afraid, cuz I'm feeling things for you,
It's like a dream I never thought would come true.
We have something special,
I don't wanna mess it up,
Not like all the other times I've ****** up.

Feelings suppress my emptiness,
My life runs away without me.
My mind's stuck in past, my body in present,
I don't know what to do,
but I need tell you everything.

I'm just afraid it's gonna mess everything up,
I don't know what to do.
I wish I could just get up the nerve,
to finally tell you.
Cuz I'm gonna tell you everything someday.

Looking for a place,
in this world empty space.
Searching for my life,
in this unknown place.

Looking for a path,
but all I see is darkness.
Nothing here to fill this space,
there's nothing left but blindness.

I wasted all my time,
looking for what I could not find,
but when I quit looking,
they all left me behind.

Now I'm alone,
on that same search again.
Still finding nothing,
hoping it will soon end.