A problem was detected in the letters of her name, there was too little a space between
the first and last letters too many mistakes in the ink, the punctuation was
closing the end of the sentence before she could remember who was crying
who was waiting for the crunching gravel who was waiting to find a fresh box of tissues
so that the gift wouldn't look like they were closing on their own, I stood on my own I held a pose steady in front of your eyes and watched them shake with
nothing
closing from lack of sleep to keep away from the mystery of my weaknesses the mystery of why I
run but it's not to keep away but to keep in pace with the questions: yes and no
many times I have wandered into such stuffy neck collars and straight backs
they say no. sometimes I believe them sometimes I believe me. I say no
then you gather me into the right side of the room and speak about the word "it". you say yes
it is mine, I am it, but not even I can define what that means and I will say that yes sounds more like a seasick captain than the right choice in the right side of the room
I have talked about "It" and I have let my hands do the talking lazy sign language impossible to interpret impossible to not lift my head to the ceiling and beg for understanding
Don't you realize I need to feel a slip of cursive in my back pocket from when I was distracted
like you said I would find
or perhaps a round wave of blindfolds that reveal a place of such perfection because it was
made for me
like you said I would see
There is a certain kind of happiness that resides beneath the rusting pumping veins that surround my pulse
can you feel it
no
can you find me
no
is this it
no
they are stacking up against the
tower
and your unknown middle name
I realized today that I was never found after I took a leap of faith into your arms
I arose a ghost of smiling excuses-it will be ok it will be ok it will
close
one day, out of business
out of chances- your board broke the trick tricked us both
the two halves, will you hand one to me? I want to stare at the ragged edge
how will you write about it
miss the charm? or will it rant about the unlucky
hand dealt. there is always the next game and i'll bet on you
and your poker face
I can serve the table and you will have the split second of eye contact before returning to your
"oh so successful life"
and I will grab my coat and
walk home