I    have    been
trying too hard
to  dim the  fire
burning between
my lungs and I'm
getting    tired    of
the water my efforts
have   l e f t    sizzling
over   m y   stomach

sometimes my mouth was too
sharp, my  tongue  was  too
fast, my eyebrow would
arch just a bit too high
and  you  would  get
that    slow   smile
I    loved,    s a y
"whoa    there,
sassafras."

i barely  dream  about
your  fingers  i  barely
dream  about    y o u r
fingers i barely dream
a b o u t  your  fingers

what
do  you
do     now
that    i    am
not                 a
part                    of
your                       life
do                          your
hands                    feel
the                 same
do             your
hands   feel
the  same

there is something serene
about  being  held  under
t h e pressure of an ocean
of a year's  worth of your
words.      i       sunk      in

                               quickly,

my only goal  b e i n g to
find the bottom in hopes
that  the  answer  to   a l l
your  problems might  be
down  there  somewhere,
but instead it  w a s thick
and   dark   and   when  i
looked back  i could  just
barely seethesunthrough
the   water.  n o w   i   am
s        t         u        c         k
in bubbles and blurs and
i swear all these canyons
down herearewhispering
sentences  o f   yours  i've
b e e n  trying   to  forget.
"you are  m y  light at the
end  of  the   t u n n e l . "

you made me
want to go

slower,

breathe
deep er,
notice the
dots you get
on your   face
when  you  need
to shave or the small
fluttering in my chest
when you just said simple
things like "chill out" or
"yeah?" and now i only
want to speed up my
hours   until  i  feel
like   i  can   walk
without my legs
r e m i n d ing
m e        o f
y    o    u
.

you
used
to look
at me like
i  had  been
plucked out of
the sky by some
magnificent being
just for you, like my
heart   was   n o t   an
abandoned  house, like
my fingertips could spell
out your  future  in the air
right before your eyes. god
what if i never find another
person  who will  love  me
the same  way you  did?