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meekkeen Mar 2015
Prompted to speak,
I part my lips,
Open like treasure
Melting in white sands
That are yet silk
To glide you o'er.
Cloaked vibrantly you dance;
Undo the ties
And I will slip in between
Old things and new.
Surprised though you may be,
Do not gasp,
Lest I'll fill you.
Is that what you wish,
Sweet laden stranger,
To taste the droplets dewing?
Oh, wouldst thou say yes,
And me in turn
Would open my chest.
Golden tongued and sanguine,
We intermingling, outpouring-
That is, if you'd let me
With my fever infect you.
Curling toes, I do believe,
Soon to match thy head.
Through bushels shall I weave
My fingers to thread
Our patchwork of passion,
Our mark on the sands.
lust poem
meekkeen Feb 2015
I would like to think of myself as an intellectual, but really I’m just a regurgitation of the adolescent caste system with academic anxiety and a learned fear. Well, I suppose that is a bit harsh. I used to be social *****; now I am a lowly intrapersonal custodian (let us never mind my inter-personal mess-managing, please?), though I am far from clean. __ I have found myself flitting back to this page from time to time and mentally inserting here a terse, self-degrading statement that could re-catalyze my pitiful little verse, but never actually writing it. I hold it heavy in my head where it shall remain, apparently. Apparently I don’t feel the need to read my flaws, transgressions, and fallibilities back to me. Perhaps I haven’t yet articulated them, and they’re just skulking around—hunched apparitions haunting my subconscious. (Death smells like dog treats: perplexing, but you want to touch your tongue to it so long as no one will know). I must slay them all, eventually, or else perish. But! It is not the transgression itself that I fear—my behaviors are observable, even tangible, I can stare at them for hours. It is the dark implication of the transgression—the churning matter only detectable for its outline of illumination—that gives me trepidation. How will I move-on? How will I grow-here? Like an impossible little spur that nestles between resistant skin and unknowing fabric? Can I penetrate the protection? My security is maniacal; it is evidence of crazed disillusion. I am the raven clawing through infinite veneers; I am tangled…

Out ****** spot! Out, I say!

I must regress to becoming the white blanket.
I must know nothing but God.
A simple cloth.
A towelette.
Rags!
Rags!
Rags!



….

…God?

…Hello?

         …Is it too late to become

…plain?
In the first Book of Enoch, God sent the angel Gabriel to **** the Grigori, the sons of God, and their offspring, the Nephilim, for the Nephilim had learned too much.
meekkeen Jan 2015
I wonder what I would have looked like to myself- exhaling- like parting seas, like ancient catacombs creaking open, awakening the dead, like I hadn’t spoken in weeks. It was all rubble…piled over me in the front seat so that I could barely see on the drive home. I tried to hold it together, tried to breathe as deeply as possible, harness the moment, the space between us, let it cohere, let him see the skulls opened, pouring into one another, let him see my lips and skin, naked and timeless, ten- fifteen years from now- he is wearing a beard and soft green- but she, she is beautiful and lovely and far more appealing, and him and I, we sit on opposing sides of the room ten years from now when the walls come crumbling beneath us, and I struggle through the heart of the rubble pile, exiting from the space that used to be a door, quickening my stride and throwing up my hands, strutting now like some swaggering *****, bellowing, “take me universe! I am yours to command, yours to call, I am yours only and yours forever,” with a voice like an inevitable whipping. "I surrender. I give in."
meekkeen Jan 2015
It is a brown morning turned white.

I wondered if the muddy gray would endure
and was burdened promptly with bellowing blizzard.

Well, all right. Today will be white, then.
Today will be white.

I will ponder the idea of going,
and where.

I will know the eyes of those who drank the murky morn

-my breakfast table brothers
and silvery spoon sisters,
stirring,
breathing inside houses-

and those who woke instead to shards of light

-white slipper strangers
idling above staircases,
slowly descending,
feathery,
stubborn behind the day-

I will recognize even those who unfurled into stillness

hours later
blissful children pushing toes and fingers,
easing into the right place
next to sibling and syrup, already present.

I will forget my love
and try to lift myself;
but, falling ever faster
into the bleach waters
the white day will take me.
meekkeen Jan 2015
I romantically excused myself for not writing much of anything anymore while on a walk the other day. I was slinking through the wood—if you could call it that (truthfully, I felt as if I was clad with only a meager shroud of pine against the bare commanding sky) when I stumbled over the difference between capturing something and letting it go- captivity and freedom? Or do the connotations become too bristly to bear? Mere semantics, you say- and yet perhaps the crux of my dilemma- or the key! “To capture” (rooted in the Latin “capere”) in addition to its standard use, can be placed in the creative context: to capture the essence of something—a far more palatable choice, but rooted all the same. Though- when speaking of art- is ‘capturing’ not analogous to ‘expressing,’ insofar as I “capture” and “express” a mood? Perhaps one is used more with visual as opposed to verbal art, but interchangeable nonetheless. Is this an oxymoron, and so a truth—a beautiful phenomenon- where only in the act of creation can you let something out by reining it in? Where “capture” itself dries up and flakes off its last layer of meaning, revealing its new skin of freedom, pinkish and pruned? Or is it a transference (transcendence?), transformation from non-stuff to stuff, a metamorphosis in which some external intangible item is snatched, internalized and then processed, attributed to or assimilated with some known feeling- given meaning- and then released back into the social cytoplasm, portrayed in some metaphorical way? Or is it a coalescence, where captivity and freedom intermingle and create something wholly new…it would be nice, wouldn’t it- to reconcile the shackles in art?

And it was this meddling that let me forgive myself for forgetting the metallic shock of briny sea that interrupted the mellowed sand. It was this train of thought that allowed me to dismiss the arching boughs that cradled the air above my head. I watched content as their essences swirled about my conscience, even prattled against the back walls of my brain, and I gleefully danced amidst the potent smoke, knowing that within every crevice of the universe lurked the very same wonderment, for what would the possibility of this life be without it? And to capture that or express it was no matter, for ‘it’ is given, ‘it’ is necessary. Even when you find yourself at a moment where ‘it’ culminates to become the true fabric of magnificence might you accept the normalcy and absoluteness of the instance, realizing that your attunement and alignment is natural and undeniable- it need not be bottled up and contained like pretty sands- though a reminder at times is welcomed. Much like the way we do not- sometimes cannot- grasp the fibers of dreams, but yet can feel their energies gliding between our fingers, does the life force vibrate continually about all things, regardless of our interpretation.
meekkeen Dec 2014
No one is innocent,
save for the child,
resplendent,
laughing at the sea.

Throw your bones in the garden
and redden as rain raises a finger,
calcium white,

it is sharp and cold
on this day of recollection,
you’re striding through the garden

plucking corpses.
Place the cradle on the table,
the flowers need no water.

Forever their bodies limp,
yet quivering in you a survival
that mocks your spoiled soul.

What’s done is done.
The plight of realization
has halted the burgeoning summer.

Years fuse to responsibility,
and you do not shine,
but collapse.
meekkeen Oct 2014
Nights lighting lavender,
as the smoke slices
the back of my throat
I exhale and tell myself
I’m relaxed.
I exhale a million times
and I don’t have to tell myself
anymore-
insomniacs who I could call
that wont end up telling me
I’m nothing
or asking me
‘who is you?’
I’m sorry that I don’t love you,
but I need a friend, too,
one who understands
self-hatred
and can hold
a conversation.
I’m sorry.
i hate pity parties but this is effortless and true
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